Shattered Mind
by Sampsonknight
Summary: After April finding herself in a cage makes an unsettling discovery, she finds herself in a situation she never thought possible. As she sacrifices everything, her way of life, to make things right. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 23 as the turtles are 20) The second story Shatter Mirrors is added to this.
1. Part 1 - (Day 1)

**Shattered Mind - Part 1 – (Day 1)**

Her legs dragged against the white clean tile floor, confusion filled her head, no matter how many times she made some attempt her body refused to move.

Silent screams only could escape her for her voice wouldn't function, with all her strength she fought diligently against the drug that coursed through her veins, blurring her vision as she squinted hazily at her surroundings.

Voices on either side of her were shady, reminding her of some acid trip stereotype of scene in a movie of people talking, sickness reeked havoc in the pit of her stomach.

(How… could I have been so… careless?)

Knowing her captors all to well, she had met the two thugs in the past, resulting in them getting their noses and other body parts broken by her.

She wasn't the violent type, yet when it came down to her protecting herself she will go the lengths needed to survive the ordeal, with these two oafs she had no choice.

(I should have seen it coming…)

Revenge burned in the two men's minds as they waited for her during her normal routine, jumping her when she believed she was safe, before she could resist they cleverly drugged her which was not ever expected from or thought possible for these two men, no doubt in fear of repeating past encounters.

A clipping sound snapped her to attention accompanied by the sound of a door opening, her body jerked as she slammed down to the ground of some cold surface.

Peering up in the distance a green haze was present, unsure what she was seeing, the haze became dark as she felt her head lighten resulting in her passing out.

A stench so foul that no words could explain invaded her nostrils, coughing grasping her shirt to cover her sensitive, sense of smell, she opened her eyes, to her relief whatever she was given had worn off allowing her to think clearly and see her surrounding, with out the feeling of suffering tunnel vision.

The ground was metal as she peered up towards the area that the green haze she had noticed earlier, hoping to finally figure out what she saw, in her horror, he hung there.

(Oh my god what is this…)

There on the other side of the three foot high prison forced to sit on his knees for he must have been more then five feet tall, his arms chained forcefully up over his head, as a another chain was around his neck.

Even in the dark she could see his pale green skin covered with what she couldn't make out as his beautiful rich brown eyes lost of all emotions, as if someone had torn his own soul out.

(Donnie?!…)

Donatello, a turtle she has met once in the past, when he bravely saved her from falling to her death, when she slipped on a patch of ice on her roof while she was taking some pictures.

Back then when she first met him, he left before she could ever thank him, sure most people would have freaked at him, but why would she be so rude to someone that just saved her.

Not knowing much about him, or the other three that were always accompanying him, and being a freelance photographer that loved taking pictures of scenery had put her in a position to notice the purple clad turtle.

Realizing he avoided humans for a reason she couldn't blame him, she never approached him, only knowing his name from the others calling it, she was surprised to see him in this condition or in this place at all.

Looking at the tortured turtle she realized where the smells were coming from, they left him in his own excrements.

(Those eyes please don't tell me they did that to him…)

The sickening feeling in her stomach turned, not from the gagging stench in the air, but because she knew what he was going through, those vacant staring eyes are only associated with someone that has been broken, mentally and physically, in the back of her mind a thought plagued her, why was she here, or him?

To answer her, a clicking sound went off as cold icy water pounded on her from above, not meaning too, she screeched in shock.

"She is awake that's good! Now here is where the fun begins, how much you will bet she wont stop screaming when she notices the freak," a voice came beyond the door from her and Donnie's cage.

(Those psychos, how many times have they done this to him?!)

Shivers shot down her spine, at the mere thought of how long he has been here, having humans thrown into his cage in order for them to act in pure terror towards him for what he was.

In the mean while he probably only wanted them to help him, fighting the tears she had to think fast, she needed to get out of this place and get him out, she owe him that much at least.

Her horrible shower drenching her clothes making her shiver actually gave her an idea, she watched the sprinklers on the top of the cage, finally they stopped spraying her and started to move up into a small compartment.

Quickly she grabbed hold of one, trying not to loosen her grip, with one free hand she yanked off her black cord necklace, it stung her, ignoring it she wrapped it around the top of the sprinkler to give herself more of a hold onto it.

Pulling hard, she put her weight into it as she could hear the gears above bow and screeched from her efforts.

Sounds of warning beeps echoed within the room beyond the cage as she could hear the men started to spaz on each other, not knowing what was going on.

Another click, she knew it was for the door, as it opened she let go of the water spout rushing forward, catching one of the men off guard.

(I knew you weren't that smart!)

Pinning the man down she kicked high, as her foot made a direct impact to the gut of the other thug as he fell down onto his knees.

Refocusing back to the man she was on top of, she slammed her fist into his jaw as blood splattered from his mouth and the force knocked him out.

Jumping to her feet, she gave it her all in her next kick to the man on his knees, making contact to his face; his body skidded across the ground rendering him unconscious.

Huffing, out winded she grasped the wall, her strength wasn't up to par, to her dread, she knew she wouldn't have anymore to give on another fight.

Peering back to the cage door, she contemplated on how she was going to get him out of there.

(You can't tell me some always crawls in there just to bind him up…)

On the side of the cage at the end where Donnie was, seemed to be some sort of door, with no time wasting she went to examine it, hoping that it was the key to her dilemma, for time was short, and who knows who could show up at any moment.

Beside the door was a control panel, looking it over, it seem simple enough, as she crossed her fingers pressing a button, to her relief it open the door.

Looking inside she could see his condition fully, as she took note of the smell and the scars that covered his body that never healed right, his head slowly looked up, emotionless, lost, confused.

She gulped. (Did they leave anything of him left, or had they decimated everything that was him?)

Shaking her head she had no time for this, as she attempted another button, with a cling the sound of cuffs opened.

Focusing back to him, his arms drop not on his own accord, but by gravity itself, as he just continued to stare, kneeling down to his level, she smiled sweetly offering her hand while she spoke softly to him, "Donnie, my name is April O'Neil, do you want to come with me, out of this place?"

She waited patiently hoping he would give some response, any would do, for April knew if she just grabbed him, it could break him more.

Nervously she became fearful, (What if he's totally lost…) suddenly his hand moved towards hers, as he lightly placed it over her own, other then that no more response came from him, that response insignificant as it may seem was huge, as she took his hand putting it around her shoulders.

With a big breath, April managed to get him onto his feet, hoping he still understood how to walk or had the energy to do so; she became wary as he demonstrated he was incapable.

(I have no other way then to carry him…but first these other bozos!)

Carefully April dragged Donnie to the side as she slowly put him down, while she tried to rise he grabbed her hand, with a sweet smile she rubbed it, "I am not leaving you I promise, I just have to make sure these thugs don't come after us."

Letting go of his hand, he allowed her to get up, going towards the first man she dragged him over to the door that was where Donnie was, she literally threw the man inside then closed the door.

Then the other man she placed him in the cage through the door they used to put her in, not to far from it was another control panel, like the other one, she easily figured out how to close the door.

Quickly she went back to Donnie, still unresponsive April help him up again, still not able to walk she lifted him over her, using her back and knees to support his weight she headed towards the direction she remembered she was dragged through, with luck she might not run into anyone.

As memory served her right the men had a van and parked it in a garage, maybe she can find that van and get them both out.

Ignoring the pain in her legs as they tried to buckle, she steadied her breathing, forcing herself to press forward, she couldn't give up regardless how tired she was, if they were caught, they would only place Donnie back into his cage and as for her, she didn't want to think of it.

"We're almost there Donnie," she assured him, as he wrapped his hand around hers.

(Please luck be on my side and that we don't run into anyone!)

Down the hallway was a set of doors, she looked upon them they were familiar to her, to her recollection she only went through two set of doors, these ones should bring her to a set of stairs that led down.

Not far from those doors was an elevator, as she examined it the thing stated what floor they were on and that they would need to go down three floors to get to the parking lot.

(Should I risk taking the elevator? What if someone else is using it?)

As she look back to the stairs door, she dreaded the thought of caring Donnie down so many floors, but the same time how many people actually uses the stairs these days?

The true reason the two thugs used them was to hurt her as she recalled the pain in her ankles from the multiple times they banged against the concrete stairs as they dragged her up to the current floor.

With a sigh she knew fully well she had no other choice, "Ok Donnie were going to have to take the stairs, bare with me I promise not to drop you."

Heading towards the door, she slowly opened it looking inside first before entering the shaft, with the coast clear she ventured on.

Her body screamed in pain, narrowly avoiding tripping over her own feet down the stairs she finally reached the bottom.

(So far so good.)

Luck on her side she didn't have any unexpected individuals showing up in the stairway, as she stared at the door that led to the parking lot that luck, might fade quite quickly.

"Donnie, please you must be quiet for this one, if I put you down it doesn't mean I am leaving you ok," figuring he wouldn't make a sound anyways she wanted to make sure he knew what was going on.

The door ajar she popped her head in taking a quick look about, it was indeed a parking lot and not to far from where she was, was the van she was brought in.

There wasn't a soul insight she took the chance and made her way to the van.


	2. Part 2 (Day 1 - 3hrs later)

**Shattered Mind - Part 2 – (Day 1 / 3 hrs later)**

* * *

Day 1 / 3 hours later

* * *

Almost collapsing from fatigue, April managed to get to the top of the stairs that led towards her apartment, after two and a half grueling hours of practically carrying Donnie to her home, she didn't know if she could take his weight anymore.

Not taking the chance of the thugs finding out where she lived, she parked the van far way from home and took the journey by foot from there on.

To her luck being the dead of night, there weren't many people around making it easy for her to carry a 5,4 foot turtle on her back.

Which was the easy part, but the part that started to hinder her was the pain she felt and the wounds she gained on the way when she almost dropped Donnie many times wiping out in the back allies.

Dirty from her walk and the filth from Donnie, she definitely wasn't any rose and probably smelled something worse then death, to her relief she didn't have to worry about anyone around.

Living in a building once owned by her father which only had an antique shop and the top apartment was hers, she lived in peace of mind, which was a great atmosphere for her to take care of Donnie.

Setting Donnie down beside her door she leaned her head against it as she desperately tried to calm her breathing and gather her strength again, "You know what Donnie, I think this is the most exercise I have had in months, all in a couple of hours," she chuckled lightly as she smiled at him.

Unresponsive he stared at her; she let out a silent sigh. (I wish he would do something other then stare at me… either way I can't show him my frustration for it might just hinder him more…)

Placing her fingers on the top of the door frame feeling for the spare key she left there, in her escape she didn't have the time to find were the thugs put her belongings.

In one sense she didn't care, for when they ambushed her, she only had in her possession her keys and lose change, she was after all just getting her evening coffee before heading home.

Wrapping her fingers around the key she opened her door; as she pushed it open she hesitated on entering, she was skeptical on finding home sweet home as is, not to be over turned or worse someone hiding waiting for her to return.

Darkness was all she could see beyond the door, reaching in, she felt the wall for her light switch, as her living room light came to life it revealed a clean neat home, with all her belonging as is, relieved she went to Donnie helping him up again.

Entering the apartment she smiled at him sweetly, "Donnie welcome to my home, I hope your ok with staying with me. For I don't have a clue on how to find the others that you were always around…," she didn't know where they where or if they were still back in that place, she shook her head she can't fill her head with such thoughts, she had to focus on one task, Donnie.

Closing her door with her foot April led Donnie towards the bathroom.

(First on the list of priorities is to get him washed up, a bath might help him in many ways. Maybe I should clean up myself, a new pair of clothes will do for now, I can always take a shower afterwards when I get him settled.)

In the bathroom April leaned Donnie against the wall as she got the bath water ready, making sure it wasn't too hot or cold, when she was satisfied with its temperature she turned her focus back to Donnie who was staring at her like normal.

Kneeling down to his level she looked him in the eyes, "Donnie I will be right back I need to get a fresh pair of clothes on before I give you a bath, is that ok?"

No response from him, she got up walking out of the bathroom, knowing it was best to keep the door open she went to her room and got changed, as she returned to the bathroom, Donnie was suddenly leaning against the bathtub sitting on the ground with his hand dipped in it.

(He moved…?)

Taking a cloth she dipped it into the tub to wash her face and hands, "So Donnie is the water to your liking?"

He didn't look up at her, yet continued to stare into the water.

"Do you want me to help you into the bath?" She offered her hand, waiting for him to do something he finally looked up at her but did nothing more.

"Ok why don't I just wipe you down for now, when you're ready to get in just give me your hand."

Taking the cloth she started to wipe him down, slowly brushing the cloth down his arm, she made sure to watch his response, as the dirt blacken the cloth.

Rinsing the cloth she took his other arm noticing the extent of the scars that were quite visible, they seemed to have been made by some sort of sharp object, diagonally in rows starting from his elbow and ending towards his wrist.

Pondering why anyone would cut him so, the thought came to mind, for Donnie being a mutant does he heal the same as she.

If not the scars look like they where some sort of test or maybe an experiment to see how fast he healed, for the first scar that was closer to his elbow seemed more visible then the ones that reached the wrist.

(What if they did more then just torture him? Is it possible they experimented on him too, who knows what they did to him or injected him with…)

Feeling uneasy April stopped what she was doing, she started to wonder if she was the right person to watch Donnie, for truth be told she had no clue if he was a mutant or not or anything about him at all.

Looking at his blank stares even though they had no emotion they pleaded to her for help, for her to care for him, in a way although there was no signs of it, April deep inside had a strong sense from him that he appreciated what she was doing for him.

With a smile she knew it was best she took her doubts and fears and throw them away, for who would help him other then her, she couldn't think of a single soul that would, and she couldn't very well leave him to just find the other turtles.

With great care she continued, wiping down his plastron, legs, he didn't seem upset which was a good sign, or signs of discomfort, he seemed like he trusted her.

Moments later after April drained the water wiping down the tub to make a new fresh bath for him, to continue to clean him, Donnie gave his hand to her, "So you want to go in now, ok lets do this then."

April got up helping Donnie into the bath, his body sank down into the warm water, still no emotion from him, yet for a second she swore there was a moment of serenity to him, then nothing.

Letting him soak April looked over the condition of his shell, "I don't think this cloth would do much justice in cleaning your shell Donnie," thinking about it she did recall having a thick bristle scrub brush she used to clean her pots, if she rinsed it she could use that instead.

"Donnie I will be one sec, keep your head above the water ok," uneasy on the notion of leaving him in the tub alone, she rushed out to the kitchen, under her sink she searched for it, this was the last place she recalled seeing it.

Returning back with the scrub brush in hand, Aprils heart leaped into her throat, in her horror she found Donnie fully submerged under the water.

"DONNIE!" dropping the brush she rush towards him, grabbing his shoulders she pulled him up, he only looked at her with no acknowledgment on what just occurred or what he did was wrong.

Surprisingly he didn't gasp for air, just continued breathing like nothing happened, eyes widening as fear had a hold of her, she tried desperately to hold back the tears as she held him while rubbing his head.

"Donnie…please I know you're a turtle, but don't do that again. What if you drowned, I wouldn't live with myself if something happened to you," with a breath she looked away for the tears couldn't be stopped for he scared her so much, the mere thought of him dying on her in her care was unthinkable, she realized he needed more attention then she originally considered.

She would have to keep a close eye on him, for it was apparent he didn't understand the simplest of things, like a child he was oblivious of the dangers that life had.

Picking up the brush she went behind him as she soaped it up then started to clean his shell, despite the fact he never responded on things, April believed Donnie understood her frantic state by the way she reacted to him going under the water, as she noticed he didn't make any more attempt to do so.

Finished washing him and destroying the brush that had seen better days before it ever met Donnie's shell, he was now clean as a whistle for April could now see the true color of his skin a brilliant green, as well he smelled a lot better.

(He has so many scars…) Now all his scars where more visible not covered by dirt and guck, he had some on his legs and one on his left side of his cheek, his shell was scratched up and there was a few chips around the edges.

His wrists as she tried not to think about it, were caused no doubt by the cuffs that bound him when he still had the strength to fight back.

Emptying the water and giving him a rinse she helped him to get out of the bath onto the tile floor, covering him with a large soft towel she dried him carefully, then she noticed it.

A yellowish liquid forming on the floor, (He just peed on my floor… I guess being in that cage he lost all control and understanding when it comes to going to the washroom. I wonder if he even remembers how to use a toilet anymore?)

She felt sorry for him, but made sure to show that she wasn't angry or disappointed for this wasn't his fault, she sweetened her voice, "I guess you had an accident. Its ok Donnie, I don't blame you, these things happen. There is no reason to be ashamed we will work on this together to make sure that this doesn't happen again. Why don't we clean this up and rinse you off."


	3. Part 3 - (Month 1)

**Shattered Mind - Part 3 – (Month 1)**

* * *

**_Month 1_**

* * *

Tapping the pen against her lips April contemplated on the decision she had to make, what groceries she needed to order, what would Donnie like to eat today?

List in hand she had to make sure to write everything down she would need to get to restock her cupboards and to make that nights supper.

Taking care of Donnie was a 24hr job, she had no time to leave the apartment, still being very ill she feared he wouldn't be able to cope with it and there was no one she could trusted to watch him until she returned.

Still not sure in how to find the other turtles she started to take the role of his caretaker, feeding him, bathing him, and trying to help him as much as she can.

The past four weeks weren't easy, at times she wanted to cry from the stress, seeing him in his condition was not for the faint at heart, with little response and not knowing how he would respond to things, it was a gamble at times.

When the burden of watching him came to much to bare, she found herself sitting in her living room with the window open letting the summer air in to clear her mind, it was the only thing that worked, the hardest part was not to let Donnie see her distraught, fearing that it would affect him in some negative way.

Yet by some miracle she managed and although Donnie's response wasn't much better he was improving a bit in other areas, which alone made her continue on without losing total hope, no matter how hard it was, burned in her mind was one saying that pushed her, "One day at a time, tomorrow is anew."

Closing her eyes, she knew things could be a lot worse, with a silent sigh she smiled as she picked up the phone, "Yes, can I order the following for delivery…," April started to instruct the nearby grocery store that did delivery, on what she needed.

When she was done she entered her bedroom where Donnie was laying, sitting on her bed which at the moment had became Donnie's, she tucked him in, "Donnie why don't you take a nap, if you want I can read a story to you if you'd like?" she noticed reading soothed his lost soul.

Picking up the hobbit, it seemed like Donnie enjoyed the story so far, she took out her bookmark continuing to read where she left off as a knock came from the door.

"Well that was fast, normally the grocers take longer, must be a slow day. Donnie I will be right back I have to answer the door, just stay here. If you want, why don't you rest your eyes I will be a bit putting away the groceries. I am making rice for supper tonight does that sound good for you?"

Placing the book down she left the room keeping the door open, she made a rule to herself, no doors can be shut for any circumstances, fearing a closed door will symbolize a cage to him she couldn't afford it even though she lost all privacy, it was a sacrifice she had to make.

One time while showering Donnie walked into the bathroom, he scared her so much she almost jump out of her skin, of course not thinking about it she never considered to have the towel in arms reach, multiple times she asked him to turn around, yet of course he didn't understand.

After that ordeal she did two things, made sure to have the towel beside the shower and she bought non see through curtains, it was the only thing she could do, she didn't want to break her no door closed policy, regardless how inconvenient it was at times.

Grabbing her debit card she made her way to the front door, not bothering to look through the peeking hole to see who it was she opened it, to her horror it wasn't the delivery boy, it was the thugs that locked her up in Donnie's cage.

Quickly she attempted to shut the door, only to have one of the men burst it open forcing her to fall back as she slammed into the floor hard.

"Well we found the bitch, where is he?" the tall thug pointed a gun at her, her eyes widened in complete fear.

(How did they find me? When did these two use guns! What am I going to do I can't let them near Donnie!)

Panicking she didn't say a word as sweat ran down her face, she was at a loss, stuck in a hard place, she could never give Donnie up to these idiots…

"Did you hear me bitch hand him over, or I will see how much you bleed if I shot you in that pretty face of yours," the thug pulled the hammer back on the gun.

"He…he is not here! I left him in some alleyway weeks back, when I escaped," she lied hoping they would buy it and just leave.

"Yeah right if so why are his brother freaks looking for him?"

(Brothers?! The other turtles are his siblings?)

"You think we are the freaks!" a turtle in a red bandana suddenly appeared, attacking the thug with the gun from the side, did he come from her window, which was now wide open, she swore she had it shut.

The man slammed into the wall as his gun slid across the floor, his other buddy too surprised on the fact that the red clad turtle was there and the fact he was accompanied by two other turtles, he grabbed his buddies arm .

"Shit man, why are they here, lets go we don't get paid enough for this!" the man helped his partner up as they fled out of the apartment, leaving April on the ground with the three turtles she never officially met before, she didn't even know their names, she was only lucky to find out Donnie's.

(Now what?) Not sure what to say or do April slowly got up contemplating what course of action she should take, did they know of their brothers condition or that the fact he was in her care.

"Raph I told you not to just rush in!" the blue clad turtle crossed his arms eyeing April waiting for her react to them, yet she didn't give any which baffled the blue clad turtle, she figured he was expecting her to freak out or something.

All this time she had been watching her windows in the hopes to catch them roof jumping near by so she could tell them she had their brother, but of course they never passed by, when they use to all the time, well more like Donnie did most of the times as she recalled.

After a month, not once had she spotted them, now out of the blue they are in her apartment, why and to top it off, they showed up when those thugs finally gave her a visit, did the turtles follow those two men by chance?

"Donnie!" Raph gasped in surprise with a mix of excitement as he just noticed Donnie in the bedroom lying on April's bed; ignoring April he rushed into her room.

"Wait I don't think that is a wise idea," she tried to warn him as she followed him, who knows how Donnie would react to a new face, or would he recognize Raph at all.

"Donnie? Hey bro what's wrong with you? Why don't you say something," Raph desperately tried to get Donnie to respond to him, yet Donnie just stared at him uncertain or did he even notice Raph presence at all, April couldn't tell.

"Please you can't force him," April said entering the room, if Raph kept it up who knows what kind of reaction would come from Donnie, he might lose the miniscule progress he's made.

Snapping his head over towards her, a flash of anger filled Raph's eyes as he charged at her, surprised by his actions and the fact Raph moved way to fast for her to even react, he pinned her hard against the door, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO HIM!"

Pain shot throughout April's body as she couldn't help but scream as her body slammed against the door, Raph strength was unimaginable as she gasped for air, "I…I…didn't…"

"Raphael stop!" the blue clad turtle yelled from the living room trying to reach this brother to stop him from furthering hurting April or accidently killing her.

Suddenly like a flash Raph was thrown across the room as he smashed against the wall on the other side of April's room, the impact of his shell made an impression into her once nice light yellow walls, as pieces of it crumbled down with Raph when he fell to the ground.

To April's surprise it wasn't the blue clad or the orange clad turtle that stopped Raph rampage, it was Donnie, he stood in front of her placing a hand towards her, to protect her from anyone that would dare to attack her again.

Only seeing the corner of his eyes April could see the anger in them as he huffed for air, the hand that was not shielding her was in a fist, Donnie stared down Raph with a low growl not breaking contact.

Confused Raph just stared back, uncertain what just happened, the blue clad turtle now at the door seemed to be assessing situation, for he too wasn't sure what was going on.

"Everyone calm down, Donnie it's us, your brothers, you know you just threw your brother Raph? Do you remember Raph, or me Leo, what about Mikey do those names ring a bell?" Leo desperately tried to make contact with Donnie, only to realize Donnie just backed up more to shield April from him.

(I need to do something fast, he had never shown such a response on anything on this level before. Sure it great that he's showing such a emotional reaction, but I wish it was more of a peaceful one… I can't let this continue for who knows what he will do.)

Gently April put her hand on Donnie's arm that was shielding her, "Donnie its ok, they didn't mean to hurt me. They are just confused and worried about you. Please why don't you calm down, no one is going to hurt me or you, we are just going to talk is that ok?" slowly April lowered Donnie's arm his breathing started to settle.

"What the shell…," Raph was going to start until Leo flashed him a look that shut him up right away.

Donnie eased up becoming dossal again as April directed him back to the bed while Raph slowly walk away out of the room by Leo's orders.

Settling down Donnie laid on the bed, yet he wouldn't let go of her hand, not wanting her to leave him or was it he didn't want her to go into a room alone with his brother in fear they might hurt her when he wasn't around.

Brushing his forehead softly she smiled, "Don't worry Donnie I just going to talk to them, I promise to be in viewing distance ok."

"Donnie I'm sorry that Raph lost his temper like that. He was just worried about you; he didn't mean to hurt her. I promise you we are not here to hurt her, like she said we are all going to talk nothing more," Leo assured Donnie, hoping it would help.

Donnie looked at Leo then slowly let go of April's hand, she followed Leo to the living room, but she made sure Donnie could see her from her bedroom door.

She stood on one side of her kitchen's island, as the turtle brothers stood on the other side; she figured that putting that much distance between her and them would keep Donnie calm.

Raph still frustrated sat down in a chair in the living room as Mikey and Leo sat on the stools at the island.

"Umm… well…," Leo looked lost not sure where to start.

"My name is April and no I didn't do anything to your brothers other then care for him," April started off.

"Sure you didn't!" Raph huffed.

With a sigh Leo glared at Raph then refocused his attention back to April, "Well as you can tell my name is Leo, the huffy brute is Raph and the not really so quiet yet currently silent one is Mikey."

"Hi," Mikey smiled.

"Hi… I guess you have questions and to tell the truth I probably won't be able to help much. I mean when I found Donnie he was worse then what you have seen," April held her sides.

"Please tell us what you can," Leo looked over towards Donnie, with sadness and worry in his eyes; it must be hard for him to see his brother in such a condition.

All three listened to April as she told her tale on how she found Donnie and what condition he was truly in.

"I see… so he been like this for four weeks…," Leo sat back, uneasy on the current news of his brother.

"Leo how long has Donnie been missing may I ask?" April wondered, it would give her a better understanding on his situation.

"Three months…," Raph said quietly.

"Then we heard a rumour that these thugs knew where Donnie was and we ended up here," Mikey added.

"We have to bring him home, if those thugs get him…," Leo started off then April stopped him.

"That may be a problem," she tried to find a solution; the problem was he wasn't safe at her apartment, but would it be a wise idea to move him, could he handle it?

"What's the problem huh," Raph got up then sat at the island beside Leo, an uneasy tension was surrounding Raph, it seemed he didn't like April or trust her at the moment.

"Donnie is dependent on her, he might not want to leave without her," Leo understood all to well what was going on, for being the first person to help Donnie, April was someone Donnie trusted and by his actions earlier it was obvious, she meant much to him.

"So then let's bring her home with us? What's the big deal, she knows how to handle Donnie maybe she can help us to get back the old Donnie," Mikey pointed out not seeing what the issue was; he just wanted Donnie to come home.

"That would work wouldn't it? I mean we can't ask you to do this or make you feel obligated to do so but…," Leo looked at April for her opinion; he seemed stuck like he didn't know how to deal with this.

April sighed, "I don't know...," she was hesitant, part of her wanted to help Donnie but the other half wanted her life to go back to normal, she was scared and started to doubt herself, her capability to take care of him.

If she said yes she was in the long haul, it wasn't a light decision to make, its one thing to be in her own home alone with him, another to be in a home with three other turtles.

Not that she had a problem with them being turtles it was more on the fact she didn't know them and they didn't know her, as far she could tell Leo and Mikey had no problems with her, but as for Raph that was another matter.

Should she put her life on the side and continue helping Donnie, which could take months or years as far as she could tell, but on the other hand having their help it might happen quicker…

A strong yet gentle arm went around her from behind, like Donnie knew of her dilemma it seemed like he was trying to comfort her and ease her mind, a behaviour she hadn't seen him express yet.

He placed his head on her shoulder then just stood there, he didn't squeeze her, like he was being careful with her showing he was aware of his own strength, no doubt he was stronger or equal to Raph's.

Three major behavioural responses out of him in a matter of minutes was a break which she never thought to see so early, could it be because of his brothers being around and a mix of her in the equation as well?

"Ok, Donnie why don't you go to the washroom, don't forget to flush and wash your hands. I am going to pack, we are going on a trip with your brothers back to your home. Where we can be safe, does that sound ok to you?" she sweetly smiled at him, letting go of her, he headed towards the bathroom.

"Do you really have to tell him to go to the bathroom?" Raph still wasn't sure about the situation that was unfolding around him.

"Yes I do, I just got him familiar with what a toilet is only a couple of days ago. He still forgets to do some steps, that said can one of you make sure to remind him. But when you do, make sure to be soft spoken and don't make him feel awful for not remembering, in his condition positivity is the best course."

"Wait if you just taught him to use the toilet then what did he do before…oh…," Mikey stopped in mid speech then jumped to his feet to go assist Donnie.

"Yeah let's put it this way, I did a lot of laundry and cleaning," April went to her room to pack up her clothes.

(I hope I am making the right decision, should I really put myself in this more then I have. Maybe it's best I don't get involved… But I can't turn my back on him, not for what he has done for me in the past.)

"Thanks, I know this isn't an easy decision, to be truthful it's not for us either, but I can tell without your help I don't think we can provide the right care for him. There are not many humans that would have done what you have done, so thanks again," Leo leaned against the doorway of April's bedroom.

"I did it because it was the right thing to do and if it wasn't for Donnie I would have died last winter…"

Looking at her Leo seemed like he just realized something, "Wait you're the girl Donnie caught when you almost slipped off the roof, aren't you and the one that takes pictures around town?"

"Yeah, and no I never took pictures of you or your brothers, I refused to have such proof."

Leo nodded, "That's good to hear, although Donnie did keep an eye online to make sure you didn't post any."

April smiled, "So I take it Donnie is a computer type of guy, nice to know."

"I guess you don't really know how Donnie was like… that is something I might have to fill in."

"That would help me a great deal, in helping him," if she got to know the old Donnie she would be able to assess him better and arrange ways to help him with picking up the shatter pieces of his formal self.

April finished packing, Donnie at the time was now at the doorway, Leo moved letting him in.

Zipping her suitcase Donnie passed something to April, the book she'd been reading to him, "Oh thank you Donnie, I almost forgot, are we ready to go now?"


	4. Part 4 - (Month 1 - Day 2)

**Shattered Mind - Part 4 – (Month 1 / Day 2)**

* * *

Month 1 / Day 2

* * *

Sitting on the couch watching TV with Mikey, April tried to keep Donnie's nerves calm by rubbing his arms, with Raph and Leo going at it again, the two brothers fighting was taking its toll on Donnie, even though she only has been there for two days, she wanted to help the situation between the brothers.

Obvious they had issues between each other on any given day, but that said the way they fought and on the topics they brooded over, seemed to be more of an excuse for the real reason they were at each others throats.

Raph was the instigator, he was frustrated, upset, but mostly he felt useless when it came to Donnie's condition.

Although the red clad turtle hid behind his aggression, it was plain as day to her, she been racking her brain on how she could be of some assistance or find a solution to ease the tension in Raph for Donnie's sake.

The biggest issue that been making Raph to go off the handle so easy, was the fact that Donnie actually didn't trust Raph, not just around him, but with April herself.

Every time Raph got a foot near her Donnie got defensive, she knew all to well why, it was for the way Raph treated April in her bedroom a couple days back, that display of violence made Donnie wary of him, and very protective of her.

Donnie didn't show these emotions or responded to Leo or Mikey in this manner, which in turn only fed the fire in Raph more.

(What can I do, there has got to be a way for Donnie to start trusting Raph. Telling him to trust hasn't worked, Raph has to do something to gain Donnie's trust again… the question is what?)

Sitting back April closed her eyes as she let her body sink into the coach, thinking of every possible angle that could bring her to some kind of conclusion.

(What can I do…)

Deep within her thoughts she became aware of an arm going around her, then a head laid down on her shoulder, then another head on the other shoulder.

"Mikey you just can't resist can you," April opened her eyes looking at both Donnie and Mikey that each taken a shoulder to rest upon.

With a grin Mikey chuckled, "Donnie makes it look comfortable so I had to try. Besides it seems like Donnie doesn't mind, right bro."

Donnie didn't, he seemed quite content, then it hit her, she knew what she needed to do to help Raph and make Donnie trust him again.

"Mikey you're a genius," April kissed him on the head making the orange clad turtle smile ear to ear.

"I don't know why you think I am, but I'm not complaining!"

Donnie looked at them like he was studying them; turning around April gave him a kiss as well, with that he laid his head back down.

"Mikey can you do me a favour? I need you to go talk to Raph for me."

"Me…why not Leo?" Mikey seemed a bit uneasy on the request.

April smiled sweetly, "Because if I asked Leo to do it, Raph will not listen to him and start fighting, will you help me please it's for Donnie."

Wary about the request and shifting his feet, Mikey sighed as he gave in, April got up and indicated for Mikey to come with her, but told Donnie to stay put, she didn't want him to over hear her plan as she told Mikey what instructions he needed to relay back to Raph.

Understanding and agreeing it might work, Mikey left for Raph's room, which at the moment Raph returned to after his fight with Leo.

Returning to the couch April offered Donnie her hand, "Donnie why don't we go and have your bath."

Taking it, Donnie followed her to the door to the bathroom, inside were stalls, and to April right was another door that led to an open concept shower with a huge stone bath tub on the far side.

Mikey told her that Donnie was the one the constructed the bathroom, including making the bath tub out of slabs of rock he collected.

It was beautiful with browns and sparkling black and white veins running through the stone, she admired the craftsmanship and many times told Donnie what a great job he did on it.

Getting the bath ready, Donnie slowly went in with her help letting his body sink, he seemed to enjoy baths, which was no surprise for he was a turtle and April always made sure the water was just right.

"Ok Donnie lets see, where should we start?" as she picked up the scrub brush for his shell a knock came from the door, standing there was Raph.

"April, Donnie, I was wondering if you needed some help," Raph said nervously he was trying to keep his temper down, it wasn't easy for him, especially at that moment for just the sight of him, Donnie tensed up, April could see the hurt in Raph's eyes.

"Well at the moment I don't need any," April said sweetly.

Raph shifted his feet biting his lower lip, "Is it ok with you and Donnie that I just sit by, for I have nothing else to do… Leo and Mikey went out on a patrol saying it was best I stay home and help you if I can…," Raph didn't make any eye contact as he continued to stare at the floor.

Looking at Donnie, April watched him, he was tensing right up glaring at Raph, putting on a smile to show Donnie she wasn't upset or worried at Raph presence, April turned her head towards Raph, "If you want I don't mind, I can promise it's going to be boring though."

Raph shrugged, still uneasy, April could see the poor turtle holding everything back, his frustration, his anger and his sadness of the way Donnie was acting, "It's doesn't matter to me, like I said I have nothing to do… except cleaning the kitchen…"

April roared, taking both Donnie and Raph by surprise, "So that is it, you think if you slack off in here so you can avoid kitchen duty, for what? Let me guess, your hoping you can somehow con Mikey to do it or… me?" she smiled wildly, giggling more.

Donnie looked at her, eyeing her with blanks stares, Raph anger started to show then quickly he sighed to take control of it again, "Well not you, more Mikey, its his punishment for breaking my weight set."

Raising an eyebrow April couldn't imagine what Mikey could have done to his weight set to break it, "Do I want to know?"

With a thud, Raph sat a bit aways from the bath, he didn't want to get to close to April due the fact Donnie was watching him, but to April realization Donnie started loosen up a bit, his eyes started to soften just a notch.

"Put it this way you don't want to know… it's Mikey that is enough said," Raph chuckled, which put a smile on April's face, for the first time she has ever seen Raph laugh or smile, it was nice, comforting, he should do that more often for he had a amazing smile.

Going for Donnie's shell, April started to clean it, "April what are you doing?"

"I'm cleaning Donnie's shell, what does it look like?" not taking her eyes way, April continued cleaning Donnie's shell, suddenly Raph's hand was on the brush, looking up she could see in his eyes he wanted to help her.

"Sure you're cleaning it…," he smirked, in the corner of both of their eyes they both watched Donnie's response, he seemed ok so far.

"Oh and you think you can do better?" April let go of the brush letting Raph have it, she sat back crossing her arms.

"Pffft of course I can I am the one with a shell here," Raph boasted.

"Oh and that is why I don't know how to clean his shell right," April kidded with a chuckle, keeping their little argument in a lighter mood, making sure Donnie was aware they were joking around not really fighting.

"Ok sister watch this," pausing Raph looked nervous again, as his hands shook, was he afraid if he did attempt to clean Donnie's shell, Donnie might get upset with him.

April wasn't sure how much more Raph could take the rejections from Donnie, as she hoped crossing her fingers that he would be fine for Raph's sake.

(Please say this will work…)

Finally getting the courage up, Raph took a stroke to Donnie's shell with the brush, waiting Raph didn't know if he should continue or not, as he looked at April for guidance.

She just sat there she didn't want to say anything, Raph had to make the first move, not her and she hope he will choose the right words.

"So…Donnie is it ok if I continue washing your shell? I mean, ok April doesn't do that bad of a job, but I can at least give her some pointers… and…," Raph was drowning in his words as fear was in his eyes and a hint of frustration over the fact that Donnie didn't respond to him.

(I should help him now before this goes south.)

With a sweet smile on her face, April picked up a cloth, "Well if Raph is washing your shell why don't I start on your arms Donnie."

Carefully taking Donnie's arm he made no mind as she started to clean it, taking that as sign for once Raph understood Donnie.

Although Donnie didn't talk, in his own way showed signs of finally accepting Raph, not just being around him, but giving Raph in one sense the permission to be around April.

(I think Raph finally gets it, it's the gestures and the body movements that Donnie makes, is how you can tell what he wants, hates, like and so on. I think Raph was so used to the way Donnie was before, he never considered how damaged his brother was and the type of treatment he needed to get better. Raph wanted so much to treat Donnie as he use too, never realizing Donnie didn't understand or comprehend or even remember the brotherly relationship they used to have. I'm happy this is working out. It's a start.)

Both continued getting Donnie clean, as Raph and April joked around keeping things positive, even at one moment Raph decided to tell stories when he and Donnie where young, April enjoyed them and she could tell Donnie did as well.

The atmosphere around Raph changed, it was lighter, he was starting to understand Donnie more and more, and he was finally accepting April as well.

When the bath was done, Raph helped Donnie out of the tub, Raph seemed happy that Donnie didn't mind him touching him.

Trying not to show that she had noticed, April caught a couple times tears running down Raph's face that he covered up right away, Raph being Raph, he was trying to act like the tough guy.

Fully dried they went back to the living room, which by this time Mikey and Leo were back from their patrol, now seated on the coach watching some TV before bed.

"Donnie why don't you go sit beside Mikey, I need to talk to Raph, is that ok?" April insisted to Donnie hoping he trusted Raph enough to the point he would allow Raph around her with out any supervision.

Donnie didn't responded like normal, he just walked away sitting beside Mikey, who in turn was smiling giving Donnie a hug then started to tell his tale of his patrol that night and how it went, with Leo adding things or telling Mikey not to over exaggerate.

"Thanks April," Raph started as he watched his brothers.

"No need to thank me Raph, it was you that turned the tide… I know I am just a stranger to you, and I can see that you and your brothers haven't had much luck with humans, but that doesn't mean we are all bad."

"I know… it's just not easy…," Raph rubbed his arm.

"I guess not, and this situation with your brother on top of it all doesn't help much. I realize how hard it was for you back there to cover your frustration, anger and fear; it's never easy to deal with a love one that is going through what Donnie is at the moment."

"Tell me about it… I thought I was going to blow it; I was so scared to come into that bathroom… I thought if I messed this up he would never forgive me."

"I know, but I also know that you wouldn't have blown it, that's why I asked Mikey to talk to you."

Turning his focus towards April, Raph was a bit confused, "Why do you say that, not that I have shown anything but aggression towards you and frustration towards Donnie."

She smiled at him, "Yes but you use that to hide your true feelings. Raph I don't need to know you to see what I can see."

Crossing his arms he lifted his brow, "And what would that be?"

Leaning towards him she smiled warmly at him, "Simple you're a good brother, you're caring and your heart is bigger then you're so called anger. You would sacrifice what your brothers think of you; just to make sure they are safe and happy, even if it makes you miserable. I know you want them to understand you and they do, for all they want is you to smile too and be happy. It's ok if you lose your temper at times, everyone does, and today you have shown you can take control of it, not letting it control you. You have to give yourself more credit Raph, they love you just as much as you love them, regardless of your differences, and yes I am talking about you and Leo for instance."

With that she walked away, in the corner of her eyes she could see tears again in his eyes, then Raph smiled with a huff shaking his head, as he too decided to join his family in the conversation at the couch.


	5. Part 5 - (Month 1 - Week 3)

**Shattered Mind - Part 5 – (Month 1 / Week 3)**

* * *

Month 1 / Week 3

* * *

Lying on the futon mattress that was placed on the ground, covered in blankets April stared at the ceiling, for Donnie's condition required her keeping a close eye on him.

Not risking making him uneasy being in another room, she placed Donnie's lab futon mattress beside his bed in his room.

Donnie room was full of gadgets, trinkets and tools when she first brought Donnie home, it took over two hours to declutter it, in its other condition she barely could get to his bed, and she wanted to take away any dangers that he could hurt him.

Still not speaking and his emotions still waving, most of the time he just stared Donnie's progress was increasing.

He understood simple requests and he had been cuddlier towards her, which in turn when he became to much she let him know to settle down.

With a sigh she got up, another day, the past two weeks the days had been long, but with Donnie's brothers they have been helping much, taking the stress of Donnie's condition off April's shoulders.

Donnie slept in his bed soundly, being only seven in the morning she decided not to wake him, her detailed daily schedule planned out the days fully and with her keeping to it, it has been helping his recovery.

For today she made this day his sleep in day with some open space for any activities that his brothers want to offer.

Heading out of the room the sounds of snoring alerted her that Raph at least was still asleep, shaking her head, she wondered if anyone can get sleep with his racket at all, she was surprised she could.

(I wonder if there is a way to silence him… to bad I can't wear ear plugs, if I did I wouldn't be able to hear Donnie…)

Downstairs Leo was already doing his morning training, Mikey was in the kitchen working on breakfast; to help out she has been giving Mikey a hand whenever she had spare time or when Donnie didn't mind watching them cook.

"What is on the menu this morning?" April asked as she noticed Mikey wearing his favorite apron "kiss the cook", she chuckled every time she sees it for there was no way that was going to happen.

"Eggs, bacon, and toast," Mikey scrabbled the eggs then stirred around the bacon.

"Strawberries?" April went past Mikey heading to the fridge to get the package of strawberries to cut, "You guys need fruit and veggies as well."

Working together April and Mikey put breakfast together, by this time both Donnie and Raph were up.

"Donnie did you wash your hands?" April came up to him leading him to a chair at the table, he presented his hands to her yet said nothing, "That's good I will get your plate made."

Making Donnie's plate and her own everyone sat down to have breakfast, after everyone was done, Leo brought April to the side.

"April I have an idea, I think we should have a mediation session with Donnie and yourself, maybe that will help Donnie to connect more. Master Splinter always taught that mediation helped the mind and soul this might pick some of the pieces up," Leo suggested.

April nodded the idea wasn't a bad one it might help, yet she had to sigh when Leo mentioned Master Splinter for the sadness he got in his eyes; a year ago their father, their Master passed way from a illness that Donnie couldn't even cure.

From what she gathered this put the family including Donnie in a state that was hard on all of them, now with Donnie the way he was, this didn't make anything better, she noticed the way they were especially Raph who in turn took the situation the hardest and sometimes lost his temper, but after the bath situation he was getting better even around Leo.

"What time would you like to have this session? I made today Donnie's free day for any activities. He is fully aware of this and anytime you wish to do this would be fine."

"Would now be a good time?"

"Sure I will get Donnie and meet you in the Dojo," April went to the living room where Donnie was seated watching a cartoon with Mikey, unsure if Donnie actually like the show or not he remained unemotional.

Leaning beside him she smiled at him, "Donnie I know we normal let you watch TV with Mikey for an hour, but today is a free day how about we mix things up. Would you like to go to the Dojo with me? Leo wants to do some mediation, would you like to participate?" without hesitation Donnie got up to follow her, she didn't have to ask, he would just follow, but she been teaching him that he can make his own decisions and doesn't always have to do what she asks of him.

Sitting silently in the center of the Dojo, Leo waited with some candle light to set the atmosphere, it gave a calming feeling, sitting down across Leo, April crossed her legs then indicated for Donnie to do the same, it took him a few minutes to understand but he finally sat down beside her.

"April, Donnie I want you both to shut your eyes and focus on my voice," Leo started off, hoping that if he instructed them both and seeing April listening to him, Donnie would do the same.

Relaxed, Leo voice became faint as April was blanketed by a sense of serenity.

Trying not to fall asleep April tried her best to concentrate, as she felt her body start to doze off, suddenly something seemed wrong, as she jolted awake.

Donnie seemed to be on edge making a low growl similar to the one he made when Raph attacked her at her apartment.

"Donnie?" April said slowly looking at Leo to see if he knew what was going on, he too was as disturbed by the odd behaviour.

(This isn't good, is he asleep, awake or what?)

Eyes closed Donnie stood, cautiously April got to her feet with Leo following her lead, eyes now fully opened Donnie seemed unresponsive yet anger was burning in them.

"Donnie are you…," before April could finished her sentence, in a flash she found herself slammed against a wall with Donnie hands wrapped around her throat, startled she struggled gasping for air as he choked the life out of her.

"D…Doonnnie…," she managed to get out as the room was starting to go dark.

(Donnie please don't do this, wake up, your dreaming, please wake up…)

"Donnie stop!" Leo screamed trying to force his little brother to let April go, in a heat of rage Donnie managed to kick him away still keeping his grip on April's throat, growling at her in disgust.

(I…can't…breath…)

Tears filled her eyes, as she dangled helplessly at Donnie's mercy as her head became light, she felt like she was swimming, the room turned hazy as the blackness swallowed her up.

Yet deep within the darkness a voice called her, it sounded like static, like someone trying to find a station on the radio then slowly it came into focus, "April wake up! Please April WAKE UP!"

(What… huh…)

Hesitant at first she took her time opening her eyes as she saw Mikey kneeling beside her, his face was wet, he was crying, "April are you ok?" he put his hand on her shoulders his eyes were full of worry and disbelief.

"Where is…Donnie," April jumped up to her feet not thinking it over, the room started to spin out of control, while a sharp pain reminded her that her throat was hurting, and of what had just occurred.

"Whoa give it sec April you were just choked," Mikey panicked trying to prevent her from making any sudden movements.

Coughing she gasped for air shaking her head, "I don't care, where is Donnie?"

(I have to find him, if he snapped back to reality and realizes he hurt me, he might just retreat back into his shell. I have to tell him I'm alright and he didn't do anything wrong, it wasn't his fault.)

"When Raph pulled him off of you, Donnie suddenly started to panic when he saw you lying on the ground; he pushed Raph away and then ran to his room locking himself inside."

(Oh no I have to talk to him right away.)

Ignoring Mikey's protest of her moving, she ran out of the Dojo making her way towards Donnie's room.

As she reached the top of the stairs, she noticed the door to Donnie's room was indeed shut, while Leo and Raph stood in front of it pounding on the door, trying to get Donnie's attention.

"Come on Donnie it wasn't your fault!" Raph yelled through the wood hoping Donnie would comply.

"April? You're up? You should be resting," Leo pointed out as she approached them, Leo looked frantic trying to get the situation under control, yet he seemed more lost then anything.

(I have to get inside regardless of what has to be done.)

"Break the door down," April commanded the two brothers.

"What?!" both stared at her like the lack of oxygen to her brain scrambled it.

"I said do it now," April demanded, she didn't want to argue with them; she needed to get inside, then and there.

Looking at each other Raph sighed with a shrug, then busted down the door, quickly April pushed pass the brothers entering into the room.

Dark within, the only light that shone in was through the door; April could make out a shadowy figure shaking in the far side of the room in the corner.

Donnie with his hands over his head shook like a leaf; she could see the tears running down his arms and plastron.

"Donnie… its ok, you did nothing wrong, I am fine see," she approached him.

Uncertain Donnie looked up at her staring at her neck, then it hit her she must have marking from his attack, "Someone give me something quick to cover my neck!"

In seconds Leo passed her a yellow woman's sash, giving it an odd look she raised her eyebrow at Leo, Leo feet shifted, "It's Mikey's he went through a faze…"

"Huh… ok I'm not going to ask," April wrapped it around her neck to cover the bruises, "See Donnie I am fine please stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault."

Donnie just looked away still crying heavily.

(I have to get him to notice, to realize…)

Suddenly she went forwards and wrapped her arms around him, unsure he just sat there, "Donnie please believe me, I don't blame you, I will never blame you. I am sorry you had to go through that, please don't shut yourself up to me or your brothers again. I can't bare the thought of losing you, and having you go back to the way you were when I found you, neither could your brothers if you did…," tears ran down her eyes as she tried not to cry.

Slowly Donnie hugged her back as little sobbing chirps came from him, he laid his head on her shoulders as she could feel the wet tears run down her skin, rubbing his head she kissed it.

"See everything is fine, why don't we go have some ice cream, I believe we still have some in the freezer," she suggested as he nodded in response.

(Donnie I promise no matter what we will get you well again, just hold on and don't give up, for I will never give up on you, regardless how hard or messed up things get.)


	6. Part 6 - (Month 3)

**Shattered Mind - Part 6 – (Month 3)**

* * *

Month 3

* * *

"Come on April you're going backwards again," Raph teased as he took the lead.

(Again… I swear this game is bugged… or is it just me…)

Frustrated and not understanding how Raph and Mikey conned her into playing Mario Cart, she really was starting to dislike racing games more and more, especially the fact on every map she some how always went suicide and steered her character off the map into some pit or lava.

"Why did I let you two talk me into this?" she turned her character around, she sighed when she came to the realization she was in last place again.

"Because Leo is spending time with Donnie and you have all this free time," Mikey jumped, racing after Raph, tapping his finger hard he was attempting to hit Raph with a turtle shell, the young turtle was overly excited for he wanted to beat Raph.

"Doesn't mean I have to play games with you two," she pointed out as Mikey's turtle shell hit her car instead, with an innocent look, Mikey smiled, accompanied with a I didn't do anything puppy dog eyes; in response she gave him the stink eye.

(Don't you dare look at me like that Mikey; you knew full well that shell was going to hit me… I swear the NPC's are doing a better job then me and I have the handy cap on…)

With a sigh knowing she was never going to beat the two turtle brothers, she surrendered putting the controller on to the coffee table.

"I should go see how Leo and Donnie are doing, it has been a half an hour," she slowly got up off the couch.

"If Donnie isn't complaining, why don't you let him have more time with Leo?" Raph pointed out, eyes glued on the TV as he just dodged his cart from hitting a NPC's banana peel leaving it for Mikey to wipe out on.

"Well tomorrow we will extend the alone time, you do know its best to keep this schedule with him."

Rubbing his head Raph sunk into the chair, "I know…"

"Raph he is getting better everyday, I realize it's not easy, but you must admit how much he's improved so far," April sat down on the chair's arm beside Raph.

Looking up, Raph's eyes were sad, frustrated and worried, "I have noticed but…April what are you going to do when he does finally gets better?"

April shrugged, "Well go home I guess, get back to taking pictures. Why do you ask all of a sudden?"

"Are you still going to hang out with us?" Mikey peeked up, he seemed a bit concerned.

In time she spent with them, although it has only been three month or so, they had became attached to her, they didn't have many friends other then having each other.

(Why would Mikey think I wouldn't want to stay in touch with them when Donnie is fully recovered?)

"Of course, truth be told and sad as it is, you guys are my only friends I have," April chuckled lightly feeling kind of pathetic in a way, she had admit she was quite attached to them as well, more then she has been with anyone for sometime.

"April, my time is up, I think Donnie is done with our one on one," Leo stood near the entrance to Donnie's Lab; beside Leo was Donnie he seemed oddly disturbed over something.

"Well boys have fun with your game," quickly she took both of their controllers making their characters run off the road then threw the controllers back at them.

"APRIL!" both yelped, shocked, as they went to the last place ranking, making the computer get first, second and third and so on.

(Hee hee serves you two right, for kicking my ass in this game.)

Approaching Leo, April kept an eye on Donnie, he was upset, about what, she wasn't sure of.

"So how did it go?" she wondered if something happened and Leo could shed some light on the matter.

"It went great; he even kept the time for when my thirty minutes was up. He insisted for me to leave to the point he escorted me out of the room," Leo gave an odd look at Donnie for the sudden mood change.

"I see, thanks I will take it from here," walking up to Donnie, April put her hand onto Donnie's shoulder, "So why so blue?"

Using his hands Donnie cradled her face, lowering them April smiled, "Do you want to go read something in your lab?"

Gently grabbing her hand Donnie led her inside the lab to the old couch, on the coffee table was a book on turtles and the multiple species there was.

"So were you and Leo looking at this?" April picked up the book as she sat down going through the pages.

(I wonder why Donnie put tabs on some of these pages?)

Donnie stopped her from looking as he flipped the page, on it was a turtle that look similar to him, "Oh I see, your this kind of turtle, I bet you were a cute baby."

With his hand Donnie tried to guide her to flip the pages, studying him she got the opinion that he wanted her to do something, "Oh you want me to see which species I think are cute or I like?"

Donnie stared at her then nodded then cuddled into her, used to it by now she didn't mind it was his way to show his emotions and for her to stop him she feared it would hinder him, it wasn't like it was harmful and he never did anything inappropriate

As well secretly inside she felt it was comforting having him that close to her, although she would never admit it, or show it up front, he was still sick and such emotions was something she shouldn't or couldn't consider.

Flipping the pages she found a couple, "Well this one is cute, it's a painted turtle. I guess by there markings that's where their name came from."

"Donnie its time for your bath, Mikey and Raph want to help you out today instead of April, is that ok?" Leo came into the room making eye contact with Donnie.

Donnie made no response, "Donnie I think that is a great idea, this way I can go make supper. I will make some homemade pizza pockets that you like. How's that for a deal?"

Unsure Donnie just sat their, then he got up heading towards the lab door where Mikey was waiting for him.

When Donnie was out of the room Leo sat down quickly, "April we need to talk," Leo voice was stern and serious.

"Sure what's wrong?"

"It's about Donnie."

"Ok… what's the matter then?"

(When is it not about Donnie, could Leo want to talk about something that might have happened in their alone time that he couldn't mention before for Donnie was there. Donnie did seem really upset over something at the time.)

Leo shifted his feet not making eye contact with April, "Well you see…how do I put this…"

Placing her hand on Leo's shoulder, April gave him a sweet smile, "Leo cut to the chase please."

With a sigh Leo looked into her eyes, "Have you noticed that Donnie has been placing his hands on your face a lot lately?"

Uncertain where this was going she was baffled by the question and why it made Leo so nervous, "Yeah he's been doing it since the day after he choked me, why do you ask?"

"He has been doing it more recently hasn't he?"

"Yes and your beating around the bush Leo, spill it," April crossed her arms.

"You see, my brothers and I grew up with different values when it comes down to dating, compare to humans like yourself. Those values in a situation like this, is that when we ask someone to be our mate we would place our hands on the individual's face we are asking."

"What!" April was shocked.

(Wait this whole time he been asking me to be his mate!? Oh please don't say I said yes…)

Tilting his head Leo was trying to read her silence, "Don't worry you never said yes, to do that you would have to do the same thing and either kiss or lick him on the beak."

"Really… That is different…but why would he be asking me," April contemplated on the situation as it hit her, "Oh I get it, because the way I act and how I am taking care of him he must have developed affection for me…"

It was the only answer that made sense, being ill as he was, he must mistaken his emotion he felt for her as ones of love in a sense of a significant other, then realizing what he was feeling for her was more on the level of a friend.

Leo nodded, "I came to the same conclusion, but that said he hasn't got mad for you denying him. I think he assumes you don't know what he is doing. That said I know it's weird that he is doing this, but can you pretend to play along acting like you don't know what is going on?"

"I see, so you wanted to warn me. So that I don't accidently accept and get him confused when I don't start acting like I am his mate."

"Yeah, sorry April I didn't want to bring this up, but I have notice the consistent gestures that have been becoming more frequent. Even Mikey and Raph noticed he has been doing it more and more, we were worried for him and you."

Sitting back April stared at the ceiling, "I guess this behaviour towards me is the direct result of him getting better, the more he improves, the more he realizes I will be leaving. Right now in his mind set, he thinks he can't live without me around so he is finding a way to ease that fear by asking me to be his mate. If I say yes that means he will never have to worry about me leaving. Leo I will play along, for I don't want to break him. As long as I play dumb on the situation he will move through this faze and be less dependent on me and less likely to confuse his feeling for me."


	7. Part 7 - (Month 4)

**Shattered Mind - Part 7 – (Month 4)**

* * *

Month 4

* * *

Standing at the stairs, April watched Raph bring Donnie to his room, it was time for her to part ways in sleeping arrangements, for his first night without her by his side, April was going to sleep in the lab.

To make the transition lest painful for Donnie, it was best that April didn't help him to bed.

"I hope this works," she was second guessing her decision, for part of her hated the fact of doing this to him, as the other half knew it had to happen.

"Don't worry April it will work out fine," Leo assured her.

(I hope soo… No I can't think this way, this will work, he is ready, it been over four months now. I know he can handle it. But why am I so nervous?)

Finally after what felt like hours Raph left Donnie's room heading to his own, as both Leo and April stayed up to see if Donnie would do anything.

Hours past, not a peep out of Donnie, both April and Leo retired for the night.

Zonked and finally in a section of the lair where she couldn't hear Raph's death snore, she snuggled on the cot in the lab as she drifted to sleep.

Sweet dreams filled April's head, only to be shattered by a sound unfamiliar to her as she opened her eyes.

(Huh…What was that?)

To her surprise she wasn't laying down on the bed anymore, yet she seemed to be in a up right position, with her back against some cold metal surface, only in shorts and a tank top the cold made her shiver as she tried to move.

To her dismay she couldn't move, something tight and equally as cold to whatever she was laying on, was around her arms and legs.

Looking down to see what was going on, still a bit groggy from just wakening up, finally when her vision cleared in horror she realized she was strapped down.

(Is this a nightmare…what's going on?)

Confused she panicked struggling desperately trying to free herself to no avail.

(How did I get in this position did someone break into the lair, Leo said it was safe…)

Relief washed over her when Donnie came into her view, "Donnie please help me get out of this…," fear started to stir inside as Donnie seemed unfazed by her dilemma.

Donnie has been so over protective of her, yet it looked like he didn't care that she was tied up, "Donnie are you listening to me, please help me get out of this… Donnie?!"

Not responding to her pleas, Donnie tilted his head studying her, then suddenly a smile came across his face as he placed his hands on her face, cupping it.

(What is he doing that for?)

"Donnie please I don't know what is going on, but you have to listen to me! Get these straps off me! You have to help me," April started to panic.

"…I am…," a whisper came out of Donnie so low April barely caught it.

(Did he just spoke… what does he mean he is helping me?!)

Going to a control panel to the right of her, Donnie pressed a button following this were sounds similar to multiple computers starting up, accompanied with the sounds of gears emanating from somewhere behind her.

Suddenly the metal plate she was on began to jerk then started to move backwards.

"Donnie what are you doing?" April struggled more, she had to get free as she felt very hopeless and scared.

(What is he planning to do, what is this thing?)

Donnie not saying another word, April wondered if he did say something or was it her imagination, for Donnie only looked at her with a smile.

Frightened April started to hyperventilate, as the metal plate entered into some kind of machine, inside she was surrounded by lights and the entrance door slowly closed while a buzzing sound grew within the machine.

"DONNIE STOP THIS!" April screamed at him as the door fully closed trapping her inside.

Inside, alone April looked around to see if there was anything that could help her out of this horror picture, to her dismay the bright lights became dim then left her completely in the dark.

Afraid, April tried desperately to free herself as she screamed at the top of her lungs for someone to help her.

(Please someone help me…)

Suddenly a sharp pain ignited behind her neck as she felt something pierced through her skin, a sudden rush of a burning sensation coursed through her body.

(It burns so much…why is he doing this to me… Donnie…)

April wanted to cry, run, as tears filled her eyes, the burning was numbing and she wanted it to stop, the feeling was horrible as if her blood was boiling.

It felt like hours then finally the thing that was injected in her neck finally came out, followed with the cuffs unshackling her, which made poor April fall to the ground.

There on the cold floor of the machine slowly with shaking hands she felt the back of her neck, to her discovery she found multiple puncture wounds.

(What did he inject me with…why do I feel so sick…I need to get out of here!)

Scrambling to her feet, she pounded her fist against the door, "Donnie let me out. Donnie let me out, DONNIE…D..o..n..n..i..e…"

Her hand stopped just before she made another attempt to slam her fist into the door as her eyes widened, a heat wave over came her, she felt she was getting over heated, while her body tried to fight it with her sweat, yet it didn't help.

Standing there in shock not sure what was happening, she noticed how dry her mouth felt, as a rush of feelings she wasn't to sure how to describe hit her hard, making her head feel light as she struggled to think.

Dizzy she stumbled, unable to keep her balance anymore; she leaned against the door for support.

Then like a hammer a pain like no other, tore through her body as she gasped for air falling to the ground again.

(The pain it's too much! What is this…oh someone make it stop please…am I dying?)

Screaming in agony she grabbed her sides, as her body felt like someone was ripping it apart piece by piece, then putting together again, it was the most horrible feeling she ever experience, not even in her wildest nightmare had she ever considered such a pain could exist.

Laying there, she stared at the wall as the pain finally resided, something felt off, yet to afraid to find out why, she didn't dare to even move as tears filled her eyes.

Questions on why invaded her mind, why would Donnie put her through this, whatever it was.

(…What's wrong with me…Why would Donnie put me through so much pain…What was he thinking, why would he purposely hurt me or was it on purpose, is he sleep walking again?)

Light came from the side as she noticed the door opening, slowly she sat up as she almost puked at the sight of her hands and skin, her skin color was celadon green and she now only had three fingers.

(No…no no he didn't did he… Did Donnie mutate me…why? Or into what?)

Not needing to look at herself she knew that one question, she could feel the new weight on her back, and what else would Donnie mutate her into…

Looking up, Donnie stood their, his face was filled with joy, he smiled at her, as he made an attempt to go towards her, April backed way from him quickly.

(No…stay away from me…)

Confused on her reaction to him, Donnie tilted his head, then attempted again trying to place his hands on her face.

Terrified, confused, she couldn't believe what Donnie just has done to her, in anger she slapped them away, averting her eyes away from him.

(…)

"Fine!" Donnie finally spoke, his word was spiteful filled with anger and disappointment, in frustration he slammed shut the door, leaving poor April alone in the dark.

Alone again she stared at the door…

(…Donnie why?...)


	8. Part 8 - (Month 4 - Day 1)

**Shattered Mind - Part 8 – (Month 4 / Day 1)**

* * *

Month 4 / Day 1

* * *

Shuttering, huddled in the corner of the machine, April sat on the floor with her knees up to her face as she held herself; tears ran down her green skin then over her new plastron.

She was afraid of what she was now and what had happened to her, most of all she was fearful of the one person she trusted more then anything, in turn who did the unspeakable to her.

A flood of emotions overwhelmed her; the one that over power her at the moment was the anger that brewed inside her.

The anger made her start to regret ever meeting Donnie, ever having considered helping him, a deep part of her wished she never got involved with him at all.

Dark feelings pressed against her as thoughts things she wouldn't ever think of came to mind, one such thought pressed guilt upon her for thinking it, was she should have left him in an alleyway, for someone else to help him out.

Everything she did was to help him and he repays her by doing this to her against her will.

(How could I have been so trusting… I should have taken it as a sign when he kept asking me to be his mate and when he was so insistent of me looking at that turtle book, that he might actually hurt me to keep me. He is sick and I didn't consider he would dare to do such a thing. His brothers did say he was a genius, something like this isn't out of his reach even in his condition… I thought he was different then this… when we first meet I thought…I should have gone through it then… How could I have been so naive?)

Slowly the door opened, not looking up she remained in her spot shuttering she was terrified of what Donnie was going to do to her now.

After she plainly rejected him, his eyes as she recalled were frustrated and full of anger, what else was he capable of; could he force her to accept him?

At that point she wouldn't put it past him, if he was willing to mutate her, he might go as far as some how brainwash her to take his hand, she didn't like the thought of thinking like this about Donnie, but after this she wasn't sure of him anymore or of trusting him, for he did this on purpose, not some accident.

Still not looking up she could feel a pair of eyes on her then finally the silence was broken.

"Oh… no… April?" shocked Leo stood there at the door, not believing what he was witnessing.

Relieved it wasn't Donnie, April slowly looked up, she tried to fight the tears as they just kept coming, slowly Leo came inside kneeling down to her level, "April…I…"

"Donnie did this, why would he do this?" she sobbed louder as her hands trembled, she waited for Leo to tell her it was just a nightmare and she was normal after all, but he didn't, what happened really did happen.

"I don't know, Donnie is not like this, he would never do this to anyone I assure you, especially to you…I…," Leo voice trembled not sure what else he could say, for he knew what Donnie has done was something he wouldn't imagine he would do, regardless, this situation should never have happened and Leo was in shame.

"Leo I'm leaving…I'm sorry, I know that I said that I would stay until your brother was better… but this, I don't know where to start, there is no way to reverse it, is there?" she desperately looked at him for some form of answer.

Sadly he shook his head, "No when we found this machine a couple years back, Donnie tried to figure out how to help some humans that were mutated by this machine and failed… I thought this thing didn't work anymore, Donnie even put it away for it was useless…"

"DOES THIS LOOK LIKE IT'S STILL USELESS," April screamed at him in frustration.

Lowering his head, Leo sat on the ground fighting his own tears, "No… I don't know when he worked on it or when he fixed it or why… I really don't know, you see Donnie never really talked about what he was working on or the details of his machines in his lab half the time. When he put this thing away, he never talked about it; I just thought it wasn't working anymore… This is my fault… I am sorry April, if I knew Donnie would do such a thing…I…," Leo lost the battle as he started to cry as he too now was breaking down.

"Leo this isn't your fault."

With a sob Leo shook his head, "Damn it, I even warned you of the way Donnie was acting, and I was so blind. I shouldn't have considered allowing him to over look his old notes, I should have realized that somewhere deep inside he would understand them… He must have seen the information on this machine… I…April please forgive me, this is my fault… this should never have happened."

(Leo…)

Hugging Leo, April shut her eyes, she felt his pain, he was watching his brother unravel by the seams and now this… part of her wanted to still help, for Leo's sake, for he became her best friend, even for Raph and Mikey, they became a big part of her life, a part she hasn't had for so long.

(I want to stay but… I don't know what I want anymore… what should I do…)

"Leo don't beat yourself up with this… It's not your fault you hear me. That said, I can't stay Leo, please understand I know this is hard, but I don't know how to deal with this. If I stay I have to see him everyday and I don't think I can handle it not after this… I need to sort myself out; I am so lost Leo I don't know what to think… I can't trust him at the moment, please understand…"

Leo nodded, "April I understand, where will you go? You don't have to tell me, but I just want to know for I can't bare the thought of you just leaving and not knowing if you're safe."

Understanding and a bit wary of telling, she knew Leo wouldn't tell Donnie and she didn't mind him knowing, "My father has a farm house outside of New York I will stay there for now until I sort myself out… Then I don't know…"

"April this is asking much, can I get you to bring a shell cell with you, if we need your assistance and if you want to talk, or keep in touch… As well if you want Raph can give you a ride or you can take one of the cars." Leo offered.

"I will take a shell cell, but please realize I will not come back if there is a problem at the moment, I will answer any question you have but no more. I need some time away… I wouldn't mind if Raph gave me a ride, there is a vehicle that is still functional at the farm. If not I can always get it working…"

Nodding Leo started to get up, but April stopped him, she wanted at the moment someone with her, looking at her he understood and kept holding her until she was ready, as she continued to cry on his shoulder.


	9. Part 9 - (Month 4 - Week 2)

**Shattered Mind - Part 9 – (****Month 4 / Week 2****)**

* * *

Month 4 / Week 2

* * *

Poking at the fire with a cast iron stick, April watched the flames dance, for over two weeks she has lived at her family farm alone, a thing she hated most, but in turn she need too for her own sake and for his.

Part of her wondered on Donnie's condition, her fear was still there with him, but she didn't blame him anymore, she couldn't stay mad at him for what he did to her, part of her made excuses that it was his illness that drove him to doing such a thing, but that said her trust in him was wavering.

Slowly getting used to her new body that resemble a painted turtle with subtle marks and all, also for reasons she wasn't sure of, she somehow still had her long red hair that she swore was more red then before and longer, with a bit of a curl.

At times she found it hard to grasp what she was, it wasn't easy especially the balance problems which she still had some issues on, it was taking some time to get accustomed to her shell, even looking in the mirror took her some getting use too.

For the first week she desperately tried not to go by anything that had a reflection, denial was her way to deal, then slowly that came to pass, she was a turtle, not human, that said feeling sorry for herself wasn't getting her nowhere, it only made her more lonely, and brought memories of the past she wished she never wanted to venture into again.

(I can't let myself fall again… if I do who will catch me this time?)

Deep in thought as questions plagued her, what was in store for her now, she technically could still be a photographer, yet she would have to make sure she didn't have to make any person to person contact when selling her photos or be noticed be anyone when taking them.

With a huge sigh she sat down, letting her body sink into the couch wrapping herself with a large heavy quilt, winter was here, and she spent most of her time cutting wood so she didn't have to freeze and to help clear her mind.

For groceries she made a deal over the phone with the local store to deliver, stating she was crippled and she couldn't leave and answer the door.

She told them that the person that helps her only comes once a day so they can handle the grocers if they just leave it on the front porch.

So far it worked they charged her visa and she always insisted in give a good tip for their assistance.

Yawning, April considered a nap was in order, for the cold did make her a bit more sleepy, time to time she found it hard for herself to get warm, one day she had to wrap herself with three heavy blankets just to feel a bit warm.

She ponder on the reason, could it be that she was now a turtle, she laid back closing her eyes, thinking of warm thoughts as she drifted to sleep.

A ringing sound broke the veil of the silence as it caught her ear; it was the shell cell, forgetting what it sounded like she almost jumped out of her shell.

Scrambling around to find it for she couldn't remember where she had it last, she discovered it was hiding behind the couch, uncertain how that happened she answered, "Hello?"

"April, it's me, Leo," Leo sound kind of concerned like something was worrying him, fear started to creep up to her, did something horrible happen?

"Hi Leo what's wrong? You sound upset," she asked as sweetly as she could, hoping it would ease the turtle, and he would tell her what was going on.

"April are you still at the farm?"

"Yes why?"

(Why would he want to know if I am still at the farm?)

April already promised Leo she would tell him if she decided to leave and where she was going…

"We can't find Donnie…," Leo went silent.

(They can't….find Donnie…?!)

Sitting down April felt scared to ask more, with a breath she got the courage to, "What do you mean you lost Donnie, what happened?"

In a few words Leo explained the past two weeks, Donnie was acting strange, at first he was depressed, then out of nowhere he started to show signs of aggression not towards anyone in particular more towards himself, he kept mumbling, he wouldn't make eye contact to anyone.

Then out of the blue the other day Donnie was just gone, no trace of him, he didn't have a shell cell, nothing.

Leo and his brothers have been searching for him all night, with out a lead.

"Do you think he would come here? Does he even know where here is?" April had to ask, to see if that was even a possibility, hoping not for how would he get there and in this cold.

"No we never told him, I don't know where he is. April do you have any clue or idea where we can look, that we haven't already?" Leo sound frantic.

All they knew he could be in the cold somewhere, with a storm warning in affect for that night, if they didn't find him who knows if they would find him in the morning alive and well.

Biting her lip, she contemplated on the situation, for the life of her she couldn't figure out where he might have gone too, "Leo I'm coming back."

"What?! April I didn't call you to ask you to come back…I mean are you sure?"

"Yes you need all the help you can get to find Donnie. Who knows if somehow he finds out I am coming back he might just show up at the lair… That said I'm still upset with him, but if something has happened to him and I didn't help, I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

With a sigh on the other side of the cell, Leo agreed, "Thanks April, I appreciate it. I will be owing you one for this."

"No need Leo, I will be in town within an hour or so," April got off the cell and scrounged up some clothes to wear, everything she owned didn't fit her right because of her shell, she was lucky to find some old clothes that belong to her late uncle who was quite a large man in his time.

Bundled she made sure everything was off and the fire was out, she figured she wouldn't be coming back anytime soon, she headed outside towards the barn where the car that she finished fixing up was waiting for her.

Within an hour she reached New York City, during the drive she pondered on all the possible places she could think of, that Donnie could be at and she even put into consideration of what his condition was to give her a better idea.

If she was correct he was upset with her, or at least upset she left, that said he might be looking for her, so anywhere she has met him in the past was a possibility, that said she informed Leo on those locations on the phone.

Then as she reached the city it hit her, Leo said they checked her apartment, did they just check the apartment or the whole building?

April couldn't remember if she ever told them that the building belongs to her, which included the antique shop and the basement, which in turn the month Donnie was at her place she did bring him down there to do laundry.

Not bothering to call Leo with the new idea, being only a couple minutes away anyways and the fact the brothers were looking else where, April made the decision to check it out on her own.

Parked in the alleyway so no one could see her, she snuck into the building by the side door, as she entered the first thing she notice was a odd smell, it had an iron tinge to it, unsure what would make such a smell she looked around.

Taking her time, she was wary on the smell alone, close to the stairs that lead to the basement; she swore she heard some sound coming below.

"Stupid…stupid…"

Looking down, all she could see was darkness, yet for sure someone was down there, the voice she heard was so low, but she swore it kept saying stupid.

Creeping down the stairs, she watched her footing trying not to step on the steps that creaked; at the bottom the voice was clearer to make out.

"Why…me hurt her…why…"

(Donnie?)

The voice was coming from down the hall, around the corner where the washing machines were.

"Donnie did…didn't…w..w..want…hurt April…stupid…stupid…"

Taking her time April went towards his voice, around the corner there he sat, cradling himself with blood stained hands, his body was scratch up as he hit himself.

(…oh my god…)

"It Donnie fault…w...w...why not Donnie p…p…put April back… April hhate Donnie… April hate Donnie…Stupid STUPID," Donnie raised his hand to hit himself once again; quickly April intervened grabbing his hand before he did so.

Startled, Donnie jumped, then slowly turned his head looking at her, suddenly he started to tremble as fear filled his eyes, forcefully Donnie reefed his hand away from April as he scrambled back, smacking his shell into the washing machine, nowhere to go he looked wildly for a way out.

(Is he scared of me?)

"Donnie," April said softly hoping it would calm him down.

Shaking his head violently Donnie held it, "NO no no, April no here, April hate Donnie…April don't...s...s...see Donnie again…no no no."

Kneeling down to put herself at his level, April still kept her distance, she didn't want to provoke him, "Donnie, I am here, please look at me."

"No no no! Donnie bbbb…bad…Tttthey say Donnie hurt April…April mmmad to Donnie… Donnie not kkknow Donnie hurt April… Donnie not mean t…t…too…," Donnie started to cry, holding himself.

"Donnie…you did hurt me, but I am not mad at you, I am mad at what your illness has made you do."

Looking at her, quickly he looked away, he couldn't face her, "Tttthey said Donnie put April in pain…me not know…Donnie w…w…want April to know…n..n..not hurt April… Donnie want April back tto April…no no no ttthey say Donnie can't…can't…why?"

(He doesn't understand what he has done, does he? Did he think this was something that he can just flip a switch and poof it would be reversed?)

"Donnie, you changed me into a turtle so I would understand that you wanted me to be your mate, then you were going to change me back?" April asked him, wondering if he only changed her to put her in a position where she was more likely to understand him.

Donnie nodded as he sob more, "Y…y…yes…they say Donnie can't…why? Donnie dddon't know why, big box made April same Donnie, why it nnnot April back ttto April?"

Slowly April got up walking towards him, Donnie shuttered as she did, ignoring it she came beside him as she wrapped her arms around him, "Donnie listen to me, yes you did something wrong, but I didn't just leave for that reason. I left because I needed time to think and for you to realize what you have done. I am not mad at you… remember I told you I will always forgive you right, then please stop beating yourself up. It's not entirely your fault; did you know that the machine would put me in great pain?"

Donnie shook his head sniffing; she looked at him in wonder, "Then Donnie why didn't you shut the machine off, when I was screaming in pain?"

As Donnie made eye contact, April could clearly see he was overwhelmed by the question as if he didn't understand what she was talking about, then it hit her, was the machine sound proof?

"Donnie did you even hear me when the door of the machine was shut?"

Shaking his head, he still tried to understand, then tears started to pour as he tried to hurt himself again, "Donnie hurt Aaapril! Donnie hhhurt April!….sstupid stupid, Donnie bad! Bad Donnie!"

"Donnie stop it, don't hurt yourself," April cried trying to fight him, in the struggle he accidently knocked her over, more like she lost her balance again, but Donnie didn't realized this as he freaked out thinking he hurt her.

In shame Donnie bolted pass her, towards the stairs.

(Shit I have to stop him! Before he does something rash!)

Scrambling to her feet April ran after him up the stairs, reaching the top she realized Donnie wasn't in sight; the sound of a door closing caught her attention.

(Oh no, he didn't go to the roof did he?!)

Looking over towards the door that led to the roof, April's heart leapt into her throat, quickly she reached the door looking up the stairs, the top door was wide open as cold air rushed into the stair case.

It was so fierce it knocked the door out of her hand as it slammed fully open, the storm was approaching and from what the weather station predicted it was going to be the worst one in ages, with winds raging up to 60 mph or more.

Not stopping she ran up the stair, frantically April called Leo on the shell cell, "Leo here."

"Leo! Donnie is at my apartment, get over here fast," she ordered him not taking a breath, as her lungs burned.

At the top she dropped the cell, for on the edge Donnie stood there, staring down, was he going to jump?!

"Donnie don't," April rushed towards him.

Not reacting to her pleas he continued looking down, "Donnie bad, Dddonnie hurt April …a...a…again…"

(I have to stop him!)

"Donnie you didn't hurt me I lost my balance!" she cried, yelling at him at the top of her lungs so the wind wouldn't drown her voice, "Please Donnie get away from the edge!"

"Donnie bad…"

"No you were not bad Donnie, please don't!"

Finally looking at her, his eyes were covered in fear and regret, it broke her heart.

"Donnie please come away from there," April pleaded at him extending her hand hoping he would reconsider.

As she took another step towards him, horror hit her when she felt the ice under her feet, before she could reacted the wind blew fiercely from her side, catching her off guard as the wind over powering, forced her to slide across the roof.

Unable to stop April screamed as she hit the edge then she felt her body fall, suddenly a strong set of hands wrapped around her embracing her, the last thing she recalled was the sounds of a thud, with a huge crash accompanied by the deafening wind engulfed her within a blanket of darkness.

(…)


	10. Part 10 - (Month 4 - Week 2 - Day 3)

**Shattered Mind - Part 10 – (****Month 4 / Week 2 / Day 3****)**

* * *

Month 4 / Week 2 / Day 3

* * *

The heavy atmosphere energized with anger and rage was a burden on April's shell, as she watched the two older brothers fight in vain.

Only awakening a day after the accident on the roof of her apartment, April could see the turmoil of that event tearing what little foundry that held the brothers together.

Unfortunately Donnie was still out, with severe injuries including a cracked shell that Mikey had to fix up by covering it with a special paste, which Donnie had created for such occasions.

The paste was designed to harden any cracks and wholes on their shells, so that if he or his brothers ever got their shell so badly damage, they wouldn't have to worry about any future infections or being vulnerable with a weak shell.

When Mikey was done the substance covered at least 50% of Donnie's shell, luckily Donnie had consider making the paste to dry a dark brown.

Although the paste color did match his shell to a tee, when viewing it closely it was obvious his shell took the most of the impact of the fall.

Leaning against the door frame the event flashed within her head playing in repeat; only moments before hitting her car, somehow Donnie managed to wrap her into his arms, shielding her from the impact.

Rubbing her arms April could still feel his grip on her, strong and comforting, it made her feel safe even in that critical moment…if it wasn't for him, she would have died… she knew that fact was true.

That said, April even was surprised to find him alive, by some miracle alone Donnie survived the fall as well, but he lay in a coma.

Without the right equipment or knowing anyone they could really trust, no one could tell exactly what condition he was really in.

All any of them knew he could have swelling in the brain, or brain damage, April hoped it was only his shell that took the worst, for he could survive it, sighing she wasn't even sure on that.

As for her, the accident left some bumps and bruises and even knocked her out as well for at least a day, when she finally awoke all she knew was what Leo had told her.

Raph was the first to notice them, he found Donnie laying in the heap of her crushed car with his arms around her as she laid on top of him.

At first they thought Donnie did something, to their relief when she told them what occurred everyone was a bit at ease, that's until they realized Donnie seemed to be in a coma.

Until today things seem a little off edge yet were still mellow and some what calm, then that morning tensions raised, anger flared.

With the uncertainty of Donnie's true injuries, whether or not he would wake up, and his unknown mental state, Raph had lost all hope and Leo was trying to comfort his brother, but it only fuelled the frustration between the both of them.

(I wish they would stop fighting…)

With a sigh, April slowly shut the door to the lab so neither brother would notice that she was watching them.

Turning around Mikey stared at her with concerned empty eyes, he was lost, depressed, something that April would have never thought possible for the energetic turtle that saw the bright sun even in the darkest fog.

Making her way towards him, she sat beside him on a chair that was facing the cot that Donnie was laying on; he seemed peaceful, unaware of the events that had unravelled around him.

Slowly taking a cloth April wiped Donnie's face, she too was weary of what was in store, if he awoke would he be in the same state he was on the roof, or would he revert further or improve?

(The worst part of this is the waiting; the next part is their eyes… Maybe it's me, I swear when they look at me, it's like they are waiting for me to tell them what was going to happen next… I know they are lost; I don't blame them I am too. I wish I had the answers, but I don't. What if the accident hinders Donnie from ever recovering from his current mental state? …This is all my fault…)

Desperately April tried to hold back the tears; she had to be strong for Mikey, with his brothers acting the way they were, there was no doubt that he felt alone and she was the only one left for a source of comfort and companionship.

Deep in thought April was taken by surprise, when suddenly a head laid down onto her shoulder as April noticed Mikey was trying not to cry, slowly Mikey wrapped his arm around April hugging her, digging his face into the crook of her neck, as he shuttered.

With a small smile April put her arm around him holding him, soothing his trouble mind, she had to remember she too wasn't alone; at least she still had Mikey to lean on.

Both of them didn't move or said a peep, just sat there consoling each other, yet just to be shattered by a crash that came from the living room, that was so loud it could even be heard in the so called sound proof lab.

Startled both April and Mikey jumped, with wild eyes April looked towards the door, wondering what the hell was going on now.

(What the heck was that?!)

In the corner of her eye, she could see the fear in Mikey as he didn't budge, he was to scared to investigate, no it was more he was afraid of seeing the obvious truth, thing were going to change again.

Slowly April got to her feet, gently patting Mikey on the head, "I will be right back, can you watch Donnie for me?"

With a nod Mikey volunteered, yet his eyes still fixated towards the door, taking her time she reached for it, with a big breath April opened it and then entered the living room, closing the door behind her.

Whatever was going on, it was best to keep Mikey in the dark, then tell him later, she didn't want to make his nerves any worse then they were.

Looking around, she examined the living room to her disbelief, the crashing sound she heard came from the couch that someone clearly somehow picked up and threw it across the room, it lay there on the ground in pieces; it was ruined and had to be replaced.

In the middle of the room, Leo stood with his arms crossed and his shell facing her as she noticed near the elevator was Raph with a pack strapped to his shoulders, giving Leo the finger while he exited the lair.

(… This isn't good…)

April was utterly speechless, was Raph really leaving, now what?

Just noticing her presence Leo turned around, he had a gash on the side of his cheek that was bleeding, his eyes were full of fury, he only gave her a aggressive huff then walked up the stairs to his room without another word, leaving poor April there uncertain what to do.

She never seen Leo so mad, or thought he had such a temper, he was always so calm and was quite capable of controlling his anger in any situation she has seen him in.

(What exactly occurred after I shut the door? I know they where fighting but this… I wasn't expecting this.)

"This isn't the first time," Mikey's voice trembled coming from behind, startling her, she really hated Mikey for his ways of sneaking up behind her.

Just realizing what he had done Mikey gave her an apologising look, with a sigh she looked up towards Leo's room, "They have and was it this bad?"

With a nod Mikey shifted his feet, "Yeah."

April looked at the light green turtle with wondering eyes, "Then what made them make up? Was it just time or someone intervened?"

Mikey shrugged, "I don't know, I… normally piss off when this stuff happens, it easier, not like they would listen to me. Heck they wouldn't even listen to Donnie, the only one that could put any reason in them was… father," Mikey started to shake as the word father left his lips.

(Oh…Mikey…)

Quickly April wrapped her arms around Mikey, this whole thing was really getting to him.

Mikey and his brothers had one brick wall after another, she knew how they felt, each wall that they faced slowly chipped away what strength they had, to the point where they no doubt started to wonder if it was even worth continuing to press on?

Suddenly April could feel something wet and warm run down her shoulders, as she came aware of Mikey finally breaking down and starting to cry, holding him harder desperately trying to bring him some ease, only to fail as she couldn't help but to join him.

(When will any of us finally get a break from all this crap…)


	11. Part 11 - (Month 5)

**Shattered Mind - Part 11 – (****Month 5****)**

* * *

Month 5

* * *

April's heart beat out of control as she darted onward, they wouldn't stop chasing her no matter what path she took, or how fast she ran, nothing she did threw the men with black suits off her scent.

What do they want from her?

(What do I do! I can't keep this up forever…)

The heavy snow fell down clocking the distance making visibility poor as she took her chances continuing on, while the echoing of foot steps of boots antagonized her, forcing her to quicken her step, for they were not to far behind.

(Damn damn damn… I can't let them get me!)

Rushing forward with all the strength she could summon to her leg muscles that had started to tighten with sharpening pain shooting up her body, she made a right turn down an alleyway.

Hoping it would lead to a solution to her predicament, or something that she could throw her hunters off her tracks, hell she didn't care if the way out of this was through a man hole, anything would do.

Despite the white horizon April came to some relief as she could make out a door far in the distance that looked quite promising, if it was unlocked she might find shelter to fool the men that were after her.

(A door, please be unlocked, please be unlocked…Damn it I can't breathe…)

Gasping for air she reached towards the door handle, with luck it was indeed unlocked as she turned it, venturing in quickly.

She didn't bother taking any caution to her actions; she was to much in a panic to care either way.

Without a second thought, April shut the door behind her hoping that the men didn't see her enter and that this door did have a lock, so she could at least slow them down in case they did notice where she went.

(…Am I finally safe? What if they notice me… where are they? Where are you guys…I don't want to be alone anymore… No I have to stay focus, I have to make sure those men don't get me!)

Scrambling with the door handle, seeing if there was a way to lock it, to April dismay she came to the realization that there were no locks of any sorts on the door.

April's heart sank; her so called luck just ran out.

Suddenly an odd sound came somewhere behind her, she froze in fright, gathering some courage she reluctantly turned around to see what would make such a sound, was she really alone?

A cloud of confusion hung over her head.

(What the heck is this?)

April found herself in a dim lighted black room covered with standing mirrors, feeling awkward she debated if she should leave, the place had a eerie sense to it, something about it rattled her soul greatly.

Sweat dripped down her face, she didn't want to stay in this room more then she had too, making the decision it was best that she left and took her chances with the men that were after her, when she went for the door to her horror, it was gone.

(…)

(What's going on? I swore there was a door there a second ago, this isn't possible…)

Lost April stared at the area the door was just at, how could a door just vanish in thin air?

There was no way a door could do that, thinking that the poor lighted room was playing tricks on her, April placed her hand on the wall, it was indeed just that, a wall.

The surface was hard, there was nothing indicating that this was some trick of the mind and for certain she knew this is where she had entered from.

Then the sudden realization hit her as terror squeezed her hard, was she losing her mind?

(This couldn't be happening, this is impossible…)

In an act off desperation, April panicked feeling the wall fully, trying to find the handle, find anything that would explain this bizarre situation, yet to her dismay there wasn't anything there…

(Where is it…where is it…DAMN IT…This can't be happening no no no!)

Frustrated, April slammed her palms onto the wall as a rush of tears dripped down onto her green skin, glistening it, she was truly trapped.

(Why do I keep finding myself alone… I don't want to be alone anymore. How is it that everything always has to fall apart… Raph is gone, Leo is always training ignoring everything around, Mikey is becoming distant as his depression is consuming him… Then Donnie…)

All of her emotions overwhelmed her within seconds, as it flooded into her like a tidal wave that would not die down.

Pressing her forehead onto the wall, April legs suddenly gave out making her fall to her knees while tears rained down her face with no end.

(Why…I don't want to be alone…)

Everything was falling apart, her life was being turn upside down, April desperately held her sides attempting to bring herself some comfort, she felt so lost, alone, she hated all of this…

Even when Donnie was still sick, he was getting better, the brothers were together, they were happy even with the rough patches they had to face… Now it was shattered, everything was broken, there seemed to be nothing left now…

"This is my fault… it's always my fault, my father dies because of me, I destroy any hope Donnie had to recover… Now my actions have torn apart three brothers that only had each other … Why do I keep fucking up… I should have died that day and the next, even the last, fate keeps bring me back to it and I keep surviving, for what?" April sobbed holding herself tighter, as she started breaking down.

The sound that she heard before once again came echoing behind her breaking her train of thought, turning around she only saw the mirrors, with a sigh wiping her tears she got back to her feet.

(If I am here, wherever here is, I should see what is making that sound at least, what else do I have to do?)

The room's atmosphere didn't change the slightest as she reached the center of the room of mirrors, looking around none of the mirrors stood out, they look all the same.

The mirrors where one of those tall standing mirrors with a old wooden frame that had a vintage style to it, why a black painted room full of mirrors, what was the significant of it?

(Who would put so many mirrors in a dark room like this, there aren't even any lamps, or ceiling lights, unless you have night vision, it's really pointless.)

Not far from her, in the corner of her eye one particular mirror caught her attention, looking it over it was ordinary like the rest, yet a odd fearsome energy dwelt inside it.

April could feel it pouring out of it, sickening, poisonous, but she saw nothing, just felt it deep inside herself.

Something in the back of her head screamed at her, warning her, she got the sensation if she touched the mirror something bad would happen.

Not taking any chances she backed away slowly, then the sound came again, this time it wasn't behind, yet all around her, for the life of her, she couldn't figure out where it was coming from.

Then the sound became familiar as she focused on its particular tone, franticly she looked about, realizing all the mirrors were cracking, the sound was something breaking, what did this mean?

As quickly as the sound started, April had no time to react as the mirrors burst in millions of fragments projecting towards her, desperately to protect herself she huddle down covering her head and face with her arms.

(What's going on now!)

The impact was so forceful she could hear the glass beat against her shell, her arms stung with sharp pain.

Huddled on the ground, April remained in her position, not moving a inch, then the sound of glass exploding stopped and the room fell silent again.

(Is it over?)

In what felt like hours she finally put her arms down slowly, she moaned in pain that just got worse by her actions.

Looking over her arms, April was surprised to see no glass or cuts on them, yet the pain was still there, slowly feeling her arms she could only feel her skin.

Uncertain how this could be she shook her head, she had other things to worry about.

The once room full of mirrors was now no more then a room of frames with shattered glass of all shapes cast across the ground, April couldn't tell the difference between the floor or glass anymore.

Of all the destruction, one thing stood, the mirror she feared, the mirror that gave out negative feelings that seemed stronger then ever, teasing her, making her feel horrible every second that passed by.

What was with this mirror, why does it still stand?

(…)

Memorized by the mirror a clicking sound came to her right that broke through her fascination of the tainted mirror.

(…)

(Where did that door come from?)

April watched this mysterious door just swing open, she swore it wasn't there before and was definitely not the one she had come through.

Beyond the door she couldn't tell what was on the other side, only that there was light illuminating from the door, welcoming, beckoning her to enter.

She wanted to go to it, leaving this room behind her, but the shattered glass covered the floor.

What was she to do, stay in the room of fragments of the past, of the sadness, of her fears, or does she brave the sharp pain and go towards the light?

Looking around, these were her mirrors she knew deep down, then the other mirror that was still standing could it be…

(So they are still shattered… have they ever been whole? And that one still stands is it waiting for me to finally give in… The others are gone, nothing more is left. Then what's the point they will never mend, even if I dare to leave. What is the point…on continuing?)

April closed her eyes facing away from the door, she couldn't, she can't, she didn't have the strength anymore.

She lost the war, it was time to finally admit it, she was alone again, there is no one anymore to help her, to save her from falling.

Sighing she gave up, waiting for the door to piss off and the darkness and despair of the last mirror to consume her and shatter like the rest.

Yet the door did not leave, she could still feel it behind her, ignoring it she sat down on the ground holding herself, waiting for it all to finally end.

Then she felt it, something slowly brushing against her cheek, then falling down towards her hands wrapping itself around one of her hands.

It didn't tug or tighten, it was like it was holding her hand, looking at it she was surprised, it was a purple ribbon, no it was the same material as Donnie's bandana and the exact same hue.

(Donnie?)

Uncertain why it was there or where it came from she felt it with her fingers, curiosity started to take over her as she wondered of its origins and the meaning it held.

Feeling it she followed it with her hand, as she did another came from the other side taking her other hand.

(Raph?)

She could feel an attitude coming from the deep red bandana, with a smirk and free willed spirit, also a hidden sense of caring, its feelings were the ones she gets from Raph.

Two more joined the red wrapping around her hand, a brilliant orange, a laughter came from it, joy, a child like heart, the feelings of Mikey.

(Mikey?)

The last a deep blue, independent, trusting, someone she could always depend on, the feeling of Leo.

(Leo?)

Looking at them the realization came to her as she noticed they were coming from behind, looking over her shoulders the bandanas continued on towards the door, disappearing within its light, they were trying to make her to reconsider taking that path instead.

Suddenly the purple tugged at her, not hard though, but more as an action to remind her it was best for her to finally leave, staring at it she pulled and it would not give.

Whatever it was truly attached to didn't want to come in, leaving one option for her, to follow them.

Unable to figure anyway to the door without walking over the glass, she couldn't see any other conclusion, with a big breath; she took the first step as the pain ricocheted up her body.

The purple bandana wrapped around her more as if trying to comfort her followed by the red helping her along.

Each step was worse then the last, yet she didn't give up, by the time she made to the door she was covered in blood and the pain was overwhelming, but she didn't care, for what was on the other side of the door was going to make it all better as she held the bandanas tighter to her heart.

They were there!

(I can't give in, not now, for them, for me, for my new family.)

Light filled her, then she felt a slight chill as she opened her eyes, the room was a bit cold.

Shivering she sat up on the couch, she still was wrapped with layers of blankets, which didn't help her chill.

Silence filled the lab, not a soul was insight except for Mikey, who in turn looked like he was shaking from the unexpected cold.

Mikey sat there fast asleep in the comfy chair that was beside the cot that Donnie was laying on.

Looking down at her hands, April could still feel the bandanas although they were not there.

(What a dream…)

April shook her head, uncertain its true meaning, yet deep inside she had an idea, her world was like those mirrors shattering in pieces one at a time until there was nothing left.

It's been a rough two weeks since Raph left and things were drowning under the weight of the depression from Donnie's condition.

What didn't help was that Raph was out there; who the hell knows where, doing what, no one knew.

Leo was lost in his pride or was it his own fears, either way he refused to retrieve his brother, his way in dealing with everything was shutting both her and Mikey out, he even didn't dare to enter the lab to see how Donnie was doing.

All he did was meditate, she understood it was how the elder brother looked for answers, yet he was so blind of the obvious answer in front of him…they had to stick together, they only had each other now…

(DAMN IT!)

April threw her head into her hands in frustration, she was tired of this, she couldn't bare another day with Mikey with his eyes, they became so empty and hollow that she didn't recognized him anymore, she feared he would be lost in them forever if nothing changed.

(What can I do?)

Looking over towards Donnie, his bandana laid beside him, with determined eyes she stared at it, she was the only one that can do something now.

Was that what the dream was implying, showing her the way out of this?

What did she have to lose, for as it stands everything is almost so far gone, that if nothing is done soon, the last mirror will shatter leaving a vile black room poisoned with regret, sadness and despair.

She couldn't let that last mirror to fall victim to the situation, she had to bring light to that room and restore those mirrors, only she could…

No that's not what the dream meant… it was about them working together, together they can do it, but first she had to make the stepping stones that everyone have forgotten about to achieve their goals.

Slowly she got up creeping towards Donnie, trying not to disturb Mikey, she wished not to wake him.

Living with ninjas they did teach her a few tricks, taking the bandana she needed it for what she was up too.

Mikey shifted, yet luckily didn't awaken, carefully April tucked another blanket around him kissing him on the forehead, then put another blanket onto Donnie, "I promise when you do wake up Donnie, we will all be here, waiting for you,. So get better, wake up soon, don't give up, for I am not so you can't either…," giving him a sweet kiss on the head she left the room, it was time to bring Raph home.


	12. Part 12 - (Month 5 -3 hrs later)

**Shattered Mind - Part 12 – (****Month 5 / 3 hrs later****)**

* * *

Month 5 / 3hrs Later

* * *

The grey skies cast overhead; white glistening flakes gently came down joining the thick blanket that was on the ground.

It crunched under her boots as she hurried along, cold and freezing, the winter night started to nip at her skin, she ignored it for it wasn't important.

Wearing pants and only a heavy sweater that did nothing against the wind, she had tied Donnie's bandana around her neck loose enough for anyone to see what it was.

The only jacket that she was wearing, unfortunately wasn't a winter one, for Raph took the only one he owned when he left, she had to make do with his biker's jacket placing it's hoodie over her head for extra cover.

She had to find him, wondering around concealing herself from any humans that might notice her, she still needed something that Raph would recognize and hopefully it would make him approached her when he does.

What better then something he owned and loved?

April rushed onward, going down alleyways and areas of town she figured he would most likely be hanging around, being the dead of night regardless of the cold; he would no doubt be patrolling to pass the time.

(Please say he is around here! Not like I can jump roofs like Raph and his brothers can, yet in a way, I'm such at a disadvantage being on the ground like this…)

Sighing she didn't let it discourage her search, yes if she was on the roof tops she would more likely notice him, or have him notice her, but after what happen at her apartment, roof tops were a bad idea.

Turning down an alley April started to feel uneasy, as she stopped halfway in.

Beyond her there were no lights that illuminated the narrow passageway, luckily her eyes where keen at seeing in the dark, yet she had to admit it wasn't as good as the boys, but she still could make out the shadow lingering within the darkness, could it be Raph?

Standing there she debated if she should call out or not, what if it was him and he noticed her, but would flee thinking she was someone else if she didn't give him some sign she was there.

Then again what if the best choice was to keep quiet, whoever it was could be a street thug, or worse, calling to them could put her in a situation she wish not to be in.

Before she could figure the right course of action the dark figure became aware of her as it turned its attention towards her, she could tell it wasn't Raph for he was shorter and smaller in frame.

Considering it was best she just left, April turned around to get back to the street, unfortunately someone else approaching her had a different idea, as she became aware she was now boxed in.

At the end of the alley, coming from the street was a shady man wearing a big grin when he laid eyes on her, licking his lips with pure glee.

(I bet I can wash that stupid grin off of his face if I remove my hoodie… Second thought that might be a bad idea at the same time…)

April stop herself from removing her hood, when she noticed the gun hilt sticking out of the man's pants.

Great guns…her most favourite weapon in the world…

Slowly backing up, she remembered of the other individual, hopefully he didn't have a gun.

If she played her cards right and somehow use the other person as a decoy, she might be able to run out of the alleyway before the gun could even be drawn…that's if her luck hasn't run out yet.

"Oh sweetie where do you think your going," the man with the gun coo at her, gesturing her its best she stay put, so he can get a better look at her.

The only thing that was obvious that she was a girl was her long red hair that was hanging out of her hoodie, she started to wish she tucked it in.

"Sorry, but I have to be somewhere else," she answered as coolly as she could, while she didn't take her eyes off his gun and tried her hardest to make sure she knew exactly where the other guy was at.

"Come on baby, we won't bite, unless you want us too. Now take that hood off and let me see that lovely face of yours."

(Lovely…wow he is so off on that… I am not remotely pretty…)

Movement to her side caught her attention, as she suspected the short guy was with the so called sweet talker, the short man went to her quickly attempting to grab her.

To his dismay, she wasn't going to be taken off guard that easy, dodging him, and in return April grabbed the man's arm, then with all her strength threw him towards the shady man.

Practically flying through the air the man crashed into the other, with a thud they fell to the ground hard, surprised April stared.

(I did that…)

She couldn't believe what she just did; she was suspecting the man she threw would have just bumped into the other guy nothing more.

April really never thought her efforts would result in actually throwing the guy so hard that he flew like that, on top of that have both men start skidding across the ground from the impact she caused.

She knew the turtles were strong and she knew her own body's limits, yet she never considered her strength would increase when she was mutated.

"Get off me you idiot!" the shady man yelled at his partner that was on top of him.

(Oops I almost forgot about them.)

Turning around April ran for it, she wasn't going to take her chances; she needed to lose the thugs, for the next meeting the shady man wouldn't be so shy in showing off his gun to her.

Reaching the street, April decided going down the street a bit first, then go down another alleyway in attempt to hopefully throw the two men off.

Quickly she reached the alleyway, then followed it around a corner to what seemed to be a dead end.

(Ahh shit, maybe this was the wrong choice to make…did the men see me? Should I wait here, then back track when the coast looks clear?)

April shivered as she blew into her hands, they felt a bit numb.

Then suddenly April's heart leaped into her throat as she recognized the clicking sound that came behind her, it was someone pulling the hammer on a gun.

"Darling that wasn't nice of you, now be a good little girl and turn the fuck around and take that stupid hood off!" the shady thug demanded fearfully, his voice was full of anger.

Slowly April turned around, she desperately looked about to see if she could find a way to turn the tide on this situation, if she did this right she could take the guy down, but could she do it before he pulled the trigger?

"Well bitch take the hood off!"

With a gulp April knew if she did, he would just shoot her just over the sight of her, she had to stall him until she could figure a way out.

"I really don't think you would want me to do that," April said calmly.

"Shut up I didn't asked for your opinion! Do what I asked or I will shoot you now and throw your body in the river for the fishes," the man threatened.

(I need a way out, but how? I have to keep stalling him…)

"… Trust me you don't want me to…," before April could say another word the guy pulled the trigger, April froze, did it hit her?

"The next shot will hit you bitch, do what I asked!" the shady man re-aimed his gun at her.

Relief filled her on the notion she wasn't hit, but that will change in a second if she didn't do what he demanded, maybe the shock of seeing her could be the advantage she needed.

Slowly not saying a word April pulled her hoodie off, the man gasp on the sight of her, "What the hell is this, oh god you're hideous, freak! Die you disgusting, ugly monster!"

Advantage gone the man reacted faster to her then she anticipated, as he pulled the trigger.

(… Is this the end?)

April's life flashed in front of her eyes, then suddenly something grabbed her quickly, pulling her out of harms way, the bullet missed her hitting the wall that was behind her.

Unsure what just happened April found herself being held by two strong arms, she was overwhelmed by emotions as she saw her rescuer's face, it was Raph.

(RAPH!)

She found him; not the way she was originally attending, but she found him at last.

Gently putting her down, Raph went in front of her acting like her shield holding his arm out to make sure she knew to stay put.

"Don't you dare call her ugly or a monster you mother fucker!" Raph growled taking his sais out rushing forwards towards the thug in a heap of rage.

Raph was to fast for the man, before he even could pull back the hammer, Raph struck the man's gun hand with his sai making the man drop the gun, with his other hand Raph grabbed the guy thrusting him into the wall.

Hand wrapped around the guy's jacket near the neck, Raph picked him up off the ground, still pinning the guy against the wall.

Growling fearfully, Raph placed his sai at the guys neck, "I am sick and tired of you low life's picking on others! Now apologise to the young lady for the insults you said to her."

"Fuck off freak! I would never apologise to the likes of that thing, she is the ugliest thing I have even laid eyes on, not sure which one of you is more hideous!" the man mocked, daring Raph to hurt him.

"Why you!" Raph eyes fired up, "I don't care what you say about me, but her!" Raph sai came closer to the man's throat.

(Oh no I can't let Raph lose control! If he did kill that guy, it will eat at him in the end.)

Before she could say a word to Raph, something flashed towards the exit of the alleyway, as dread came over April when she noticed the other guy that she threw earlier standing there with a gun in his hand; he was going to shoot Raph!

Without a second thought April slid across the ground towards the gun that laid there, she had to do something, she quickly pulled the hammer, pointing it at the thug.

The seconds slowed down, she watched the guy pull back the trigger.

Everything became a blur, as she just stared, there laying on the ground the man was breathing heavily holding his shoulder; blood was starting to soaked through his jacket.

She shot him…

In shock she didn't move, "APRIL!" Raph voice rang in the mist of chaos, she couldn't believe she actually shot the guy, she hit him… is he dying?

"April, snap out of it," a gentle hand went over top of hers, taking the gun out of her hand.

Slowly she looked up with weary eyes, tears poured out when she made eye contact with Raph, "I…he was going to…" April tried to get out between sobs.

Caringly, Raph placed his hand on April's cheek stroking it kindly, "Shhh its ok, I'm fine. You did what needed to be done, if you didn't I…"

"But what if he dies…"

Shaking his head with a smile, Raph picked her up, cradled her in his arms, "Don't worry he will be fine, but its best we leave."

The guy that Raph had pinned to the wall ran towards his buddy, quickly Raph skillfully scaled up the wall to the roof and out of sight of the thugs, before one could try to shoot them again.

Safe on the roof far away from the alleyway they fled from, Raph placed April on her feet, then made sure she wasn't hurt, "Your not hurt are you April?"

Shaking her head, April just stared.

"Hey April its ok, you did the right thing. I promise you he will live, they always do, they are worse then cockroaches," Raph laughed heavily.

Looking at him, she noticed how cool he was with the situation; sure she got into fights before, but not ones where she used a gun…

This was a lot of weight on her, more then she wanted to admit or think about.

Realizing she wasn't cheering up, Raph gave her a sweet smile then wrapped her in his arms, "Damn it April please don't be upset. Come on I am trying not to get pissed at you for being out here alone, in the cold…Wait are you wearing my biker's jacket?"

April raised her eyebrow in disbelief, "Wow Raph really, normally people reframe from such statements about them being pissed off, that's not really a happy mood changing topic."

Looking down at her, he smiled wildly, "Nope it isn't, but you said something, and it did take your mind off the previous situation right?"

April sighed placing her head against his chest, "Do you really think the guy will be ok, I know he is a thug, but I don't want any blood on my…"

Holding her tighter rubbing her arms, Raph nodded, "I said don't worry, then don't. Now about you being out here…April…April, what's wrong…APRIL!"

Something seemed off, April didn't feel right as the world around her started to spin then everything went black.


	13. Part 13 - (Month 5 - Day 1)

**Shattered Mind - Part 13 – (****Month 5 / Day 1****)**

* * *

Month 5 / Day 1

* * *

Embraced by something warm and soft, it wrapped around April tightly.

It wasn't material, though she could feel some pieces touching her skin, what was it?

Hissing sounds accompanied by annoying yet familiar sounds that were in perfect rhythm, surrounded her.

Hesitantly April attempted to open her eyes, yet didn't succeed, part of her didn't want too, and just continued to snuggle into whatever was so pleasant touching her body, also there was this aroma to it that was a bit alluring, comforting, she felt safe, relaxed even.

Nothing she could think of could make such a captivating smell; what could it be?

(I don't want to get up… mmm it smells so good and feels so nice…)

Deep down all April wanted was to stay put for a bit longer, fearing that if she opened her eyes the warmth the sweet smell would be only a dream.

Curiosity finally won over, begging her to take a peek and figure out this mysterious thing that was such a wonderful sensation.

She reluctantly opened her eyes, her vision blurry at first, cleared as she became aware she didn't have the faintest idea where she was.

Viewing her surroundings she saw a lot of pipes, some hissed with steam, was she in some sort of boiler room?

It would explain the warm air and pipes, but not the rest, looking down, she notice a blanket was wrapped around her and something else underneath.

In wonder she peeked through the blanket, April was surprised to see two green arms holding her, who would be holding her, couldn't be could it!

(…)

Slowly tilting her head up, there fast asleep was Raph, he even had his bandana off that hung around his neck, this was the first time she has ever seen him without it on.

The annoying sound she heard earlier was his snoring; the pipes were competing in volume with it she noticed.

(Why is Raph holding me…)

April felt her face starting to get hotter as she watched Raph sleep; he was quite cute asleep with his bandana off, his jaw line...

Shaking her head, she cut off the thought before it continued, she had to focus on other matters.

(Um… ok… so where am I, what happened…)

The only last memory she could find was Raph asking her if she was ok, everything went blank after that.

For the life of her, she couldn't figure out why, she wasn't hurt that was for sure, then why did she pass out?

Debating if she should get up or not, April stared forward, she could try to get up, but that would probably wake Raph, he seemed peaceful and she really didn't want to wake him.

Suddenly Raph shuffled holding her closer to him, what was she to do?

Feeling really tired herself, she eased up a bit, he was so warm, this moment was the warmest she felt since winter came, why fight it?

Giving into her urges, April laid her head into Raph arms as she started to drift back to sleep, figuring he would never notice she ever woke up in the first place; he would think she was shifting in her sleep that's all.

"April?" a voice came piercing through the serenity of her dream.

"April, come on. It's time to get up," the voice rang again.

Slowly April opened her eyes, Raph was leaning down in front of her, she was the only one wrapped up in the blanket, was she dreaming of him holding her?

(He was holding me, right… that was real? If it was he is sure not acting like it even happened…)

Looking at her sideways, Raph tried to read her unsure what to say he stared at her, then finally said something, "April are you ok?"

"I think sooo… Raph what happened?" April looked behind him; she was still in the same room as before, it couldn't have been a dream...

Raph placed his hand over her forehead to check her temperature, "Well, you passed out, are you sure you feel ok," hand still on her forehead, April cheeks started to feel hot and red.

With an odd look Raph suddenly turned red himself, then quickly he turned away getting up looking at one of the pipes like there was something interesting about them.

(He is blushing… wait am I blushing!)

"I figured as much that I passed out, but why? Where are we?" April watched Raph's body movements as he continued looking at the pipes as if he did find something fascinating about it.

"We…," Raph coughed to clear his suddenly squeaky voice, "We're in a boiler room in the morgue. Don't worry, no one ever comes down here. As for what happened, I think you got hyperthermia; you were so cold, your lips even turned blue. I brought you here right away."

(Well then…)

"I did, I guess the warmest place you knew of, was this place?" April didn't mention the fact he was holding her, though it did all made sense now.

If she did indeed had hyperthermia, body heat would be the fastest way to warm her up.

"Sorry Raph, I must have scared you half to death…"

Shaking his head, he sighed, "A bit, April no offense, but why the hell were you outside, on your own and without a winter jacket on?"

"Well for starters I don't have one remember, my old stuff doesn't fit me anymore and my uncle only had regular clothes," April answered him.

"Ok…then why not borrowed Mikey's or Leo's. Hell, why the hell did those two even let you go out alone in the first place!" anger flashed in Raph's eyes as he growled over the notion.

"Actually, they don't even know that I left the lair and if I did wear one of their jackets, I feared you would have avoided me thinking I was them. I had to wear something that was yours so you would recognize it. It's not like I could walk around not concealed, I couldn't risk anyone seeing me, looking like this," April pointed to her face.

Raph paused at what she said with a concerning look on his face, as if he disagreed with part of her statement.

(Why is he looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?)

"… April your beaut…rrr…well, umm… fine. Damn it April, I wish you didn't leave the lair with no one knowing that you have left or where you were going. What if I didn't hear that first gun shot, you could be in a snow bank frozen to death or worse… if anything happened to you…," Raph crossed his arms looking away, frustrated and a bit embarrassed.

(…)

"Well, you have found me, I figure you would either way," she smiled, hoping it will ease the tension in the room, and Raph would stop acting over protective and so weird.

Shaking his head, Raph huffed, "That is besides the point! April why… why come find me in the first place?"

April got to her feet, not taking the blanket off, "Simple I want to bring you home."

"No."

Glaring at Raph she wasn't letting him off that easy, "Why not Raph, come on it's been almost two weeks. Your fight with Leo has to be over by now."

Slamming his hand into one of the pipes Raph ground his teeth, "It's never over, why the hell should I go back home, what does it matter! If I do, Leo would just scold me like… like some child!"

"Home isn't the same anymore, believe it or not Raph, we miss you, even Leo!"

Growling under his breath, Raph refused to make eye contact with her, "Sure he does, he's probably relieved he doesn't have to deal with me and only has to worry about Donnie and Mikey," Raph threw his hands up in the air as he started to walk away from her.

(No, there is no way he is walking away from me on this!)

Pissed at his stubbornness, April went forward grabbing Raph's arm, forcing him to face her, then with that same hand she pushed Raph against one of the large pipes holding him there.

"Listen here Raphael, you can be stubborn all you want and maybe in truth, I really don't have the right to get in the middle. But you have to know that back home, your home, your brothers are all falling apart. You all need each other, don't you understand! Damn it, Raph I swear I don't know who is more stubborn to admit that; you have to stick together. You with your god damn so called don't care attitude or Leo with his responsibility and pride that I swear makes him put his head up his ass sometimes. This vicious cycle has to end now!" huffing April glared into his eyes, her temper was loose and she wasn't going to stand down.

Silence filled the room, Raph only stared at her, then finally he responded with a surprised look, "Wow April I didn't know you could be so… so aggressive, or have that kind of strength to be able to slam me into this pipe… Wait… Did you just say Leo puts his head up his ass," suddenly Raph started to roar on the comment.

Realizing that she did, her face turned white, "I… crap… please Raph don't tell him I said that… I lost my temper and I really didn't…"

(Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just said that about Leo… if he ever found out he would hate me.)

"Don't worry April I won't tell, it's just awesome to hear someone say something like that about him and you of all people too!" Raph gave another roar.

(… He does know that I didn't mean it, right? It was my temper talking…)

With a sigh, April let go of Raph as she backed away from him, "Please Raph reconsider and come home."

Stopping his laughing fit, Raph eyes became hollow, "No, sorry April I can't."

"Why?" she asked, feeling the conversation just started at the beginning.

"Just cause," Raph rubbed his arm, staring at the ground.

(Is it me or does he look ashamed? Did he say something he really regrets to Leo? Is that why he doesn't want to come home?)

"Just cause isn't an answer, please Raph at least tell me why. You know you can talk to me right?"

Looking at her, Raph debated biting his lower lip; the ashamed look seemed more targeted towards her, why would he be, he never did anything to her.

"It's because of Donnie…," Raph finally got out, although it strained him to do so.

"I understand thing seem bleak with him right now, but we can't just give up on him. We have to be there when he awakes. Who knows, he might be…"

Raph cut her off, shaking his head with a sigh, "No, that's not what I mean…"

Confused by the way Raph was acting, April didn't quite get it, she studied his body movements to see if it would shed some light.

(What does he mean, that's not it? Then what else about Donnie would prevent Raph from coming home? Raph is not making any sense.)

Wary, Raph looked into Aprils eyes, he was fighting back the tears, April wasn't sure if she should console Raph or wait until he explained himself.

"April… I… You know the incident on the roof of your apartment; both you and Leo blame yourselves for what happened to Donnie… It's not true, neither one of you are truly at fault…," shifting his feet Raph stared at the ground again.

"What do you mean; no one could have known of how that day's events would have played out. So yes, I blamed myself, that's because I could have stopped him before he got to the roof and…"

"Damn it April! It's not your fault or Leo's regardless! So stop blaming yourself, damn it Leo kept doing the same!" Raph looked back up at her anger and guilt in his eyes, " Damn it, Donnie wouldn't have left the lair… if it wasn't for me! I lost my temper on the fact of what he did to you, which in turn made you leave. He hurt you when you have been so kind to him and us. I told him off, told him it was all his fault. I told him what he did is something my true brother wouldn't do!"

Shocked April just stared at Raph, unsure what to say.

(They… Donnie kept saying they told him, Donnie meant Raph… that's what put him on the edge. The way he was at the moment, he might have thought I was just leaving for a bit, Raph must have told him I was never coming back…)

Ashamed Raph turned around slamming his fist into the pipe, covering his face with his other hand, "I'm such an idiot! I let my anger get the best of me and let it control me. I told my sick brother, he was nothing! I even went as far as telling him he was a disgrace and that he wasn't my brother at all and I didn't care about him… But I do… I upset him and the worst part, I wanted him to leave and was happy when he did at first… Damn it! What the hell is wrong with me!"

Slowly April came up to Raph's side, then wrapped her arms around him, surprised Raph turned his head towards her, his eyes were blood shot from his tears, "April? Why are you not mad at me? You should hate me for what I said to Donnie."

With a sigh April shook her head, "What's with you and Donnie, thinking I should hate you for the mistakes you have done, don't you feel guilty over them? If so why punish you when that guilt is your punishment, why should I be mad? What happened, happened. That said, its best you come home so you can apologize to Donnie, then start things over again, it's that simple."

Confused by her calm and forgiving ways, Raph just stared at her, "It's never that easy."

"Says who? Come on Raph, do you really like living in a boiler room under a morgue, aren't you worried about zombies, this would be the first place they would hunt," April joked, trying to lighten the mood, for if the conversation continues she feared she would never get through to him.

Regardless of what he did, he didn't mean too, everyone makes mistakes, the best way to fix those mistakes is to confront them or even apologize to the one you made the mistake with, he had to come home to make amens.

Studying her Raph thought for second on the things she said, then he couldn't hold back his smile, "Really, I figured it would be a graveyard, that an ugly ass zombie would hunt down some poor sucker's brains."

There it was, his smile, his real smile, the one that April liked seeing on his face, in return, she smiled warmly back, "Nah many people are cremated these days, and the bodies that are in the ground, their brains must be worm food by now."

With a cough Raph laughed, "Wow, we have to make sure to cut down your movie time with Mikey or time with him period; I think you're catching his weirdness disease."

"Sooo I presume when you say we, you mean you and Leo? So that means you're coming home?" April crossed her fingers that Raph didn't back down and returned to being stubborn again.

Raph thought on it, then sighed, "Yeah, but on one condition."

Raising her eyebrow she studied him, "Ok, what is that condition?"

Leaning towards her, he was inches away from her beak, she could feel his warm, sweet breath, "You promise that here on out, you would at least tell someone that you're leaving the lair. Don't make one of us worry about you ok… and…"

"Wait, what do you mean and? You said one condition," April narrowed her eyes at him, trying to figure out what he was up too.

With a devilish smile Raph became amused, "And you have to promise not to mention that we spent last night in each others arms regardless of the fact I was keeping you warm. Also…," Raph smile grew wider, "Also the part where you woke up and decided to stay in my arms for the remainder of the night."

With that Raph turned around quickly starting to pack up his things, as April just stared at him in complete disbelief.

April felt her face go red again, as the memories of him holding her bubbled up to the surface and her decision to stay in his arms after she woke up the first time.

(… So he was awake… he knew… ummm… Is it me or was there a twinkle in his eye when he said that…)


	14. Part 14 - (Month 5 - Week 1)

**Shattered Mind - Part 14 – (****Month 5 / Week 1****)**

* * *

Month 5 / Week 1

* * *

The lair laid silent in the early hours of the morning, the calm before the storm.

Everyone was asleep, lying comfortably on the couch in the lab.

Things were back to normal, more or less; the brothers were getting along and things were not so heavy anymore, regardless if Donnie was still in a coma.

Sleepily April opened her eyes as she felt something brushing her cheek.

To her surprise, April noticed she was lying against Raph plastron, who in turn was sleeping upright; it was his bandana that was brushing against her face.

Flushed, she looked up wondering what was going on.

At the same moment, Raph slowly opened his eyes, as their eyes met, his face became confused and beet red.

(Ok, how did this happen?)

"…April…," Raph looked frantic, he wasn't suspecting to wake up with her lying against him.

Speechless April just stared at him, with a gulp Raph voice became nervous, "Umm… April by chance can you get up?"

With a quick nod, embarrassed too, April tried so, then realize she was stuck.

Looking over her shoulder, she became aware that Mikey was leaning against her shell pinning her against Raph.

(You got to be kidding me…)

"Sure… um Mikey wake up, please," April tilted her head whispering into his ear, in response Mikey softly moaned with a mumble, then leaned against her more, forcing her to press into Raph.

"April what are you doing!?" Raph panicked, outright confused why April was getting closer to him.

April glared at him for not noticing that she wasn't the one doing it.

"Raph it's not me doing this, Mikey is sleeping against my shell, in turn pressing me against you," she sighed annoyingly.

Feeling kind of foolish, Raph chuckled under his breath, "Oh… rrr. Mikey get the hell off of April!" Raph yelled over April's shoulder, frustrated and getting pissed off with his little brother, he couldn't believe this was happening.

A bit stunned by the sudden volume change in his voice, blinking, April shook her head, "Thanks Raph, I think I am now deaf in my right ear," April narrowed her eyes on him for being so loud.

"… Sorry April," Raph apologised quickly, as he became more flustered, he truly seemed to be out of his element.

If matters couldn't get any worse, a sudden rustling came from the other side of Raph, accompanied with some yawns.

"What's with all the commotion…," Leo inhaled deeply, as he attempted to get up.

(Oh no no no…)

Watching Leo starting to get up, it suddenly came apparent to April, as her heart leaped into her throat, Raph was leaning all his weight against Leo's shell; Leo was probably the only one preventing everyone from falling over.

"Leo don't get up!" April tried to cry out, but was too late.

Quickly Leo got off the couch, confused Leo didn't have a clue why April tried to stop him from getting up, yet it was too late either way.

In a split second Leo learned quickly of the predicament, as he watched Raph fall backwards and April falling on top of him, laying there she stared up at Leo in annoyance.

"Oh… so good morning," Leo cough trying hard not to laugh.

Wondering what happened to Mikey, April viewed over her shoulder to see him sitting up rubbing his eyes, he must have sat up just before she fell, lucky him.

"Umm… April about you getting off of me?" Raph's face was so red; she couldn't tell the difference between his bandana and his skin anymore.

"What's going on over, here?" Mikey chirped with amusement, peering over at Raph and April with glee, he was having a grand old time watching this drama unfold.

With a sigh April attempted to get up, then Raph grabbed her arm, stopping her, "…umm … rrr… maybe wait a sec…," Raph nervously squeaked.

(What?)

Tilting her head, for the life of her, April couldn't figure out why Raph would all the sudden ask her to stop getting up, he was such in a hurry for her to get off him a second ago, what change?

Looking at Raph curiously, April watched the sweat running down his face as he seemed really embarrassed.

Before she could ask what was going on, she was startled when a burst a laughter took over Leo as he tried to keep his balance since he was almost doubling over.

Flashing a look over towards Leo, Raph anger swelled, growling fiercely at his older brother, "SHUT UP LEO, you try not to do this in this situation!"

(Do what? … Wait… Ahh crap you got to be kidding me…)

Realizing what has changed, April looked up towards Mikey indicating to him if he started to laugh; he was in a world of pain, and to get the throw pillow that wasn't far from him.

Taking the warning into consideration, Mikey picked up the pillow, giving it to April.

The elder brother was in tears at the moment and Raph being too busy yelling at Leo to stop laughing, neither one notice what April was up too.

With a breath, April quickly got up placing the pillow in place with her eyes close, she at least could give him some dignity.

Once the pillow was in place, April jump off the couch, then started to walk towards the lab door, she didn't even look over to see how Donnie was doing, she was way to embarrass.

"Rrr… April sorry, it's not what it seems!" Raph called towards her, weary.

With a sigh, she didn't turn around, "Don't worry Raph you're a guy, this is a normal reaction waking up in the morning, sometimes… I'm going to start breakfast… Oh Leo, if you don't stop laughing trust me, Raph will be the least of your worries."

With a nervous gulp, Leo coughed, trying to control his laughter, "Sorry A..ha ha April…"

With another sigh, April shook her head, "I swear I don't even know how any of us fell asleep in that position in the first place… This is what I get for living with a bunch of guys."

Leaving the guys behind, April enter the living room, closing the door behind her, leaning against it she took a deep breath.

(Well, good morning indeed, never a dull moment… Well, today's event will be Raph acting weird around me after what happen. Mikey will never stop teasing and Leo… rrr… I wouldn't be surprised he joined Mikey… Man how did we fall asleep like that, we were all watching a movie because it was only fair, someone had to watch Donnie so why not watch it in the lab then… Yeah… Don't have a clue how this became the ending of the night…)

With a sigh, April moved towards the kitchen, thoughts of what to make the boys this morning was circling in her head, she tried her best to make sure they keep a balance diet, suggesting meals with at least a couple items in the food group.

Just before reaching the kitchen an alarming sound came from above in the directions of the bedrooms, knowing she was the only one that left the lab, it seemed quite suspicious.

(Is someone up there?)

April looked towards the lab door, it remained shut and sounds of the guys arguing and fooling around still was clear, then who could be upstairs?

Fully aware that the lair was designed to keep intruders out and the guys never let anyone know where they live or ever bring company over, that's if they do have any friends on the surface, April didn't really know or dared to ask, she felt safe in the end anyways.

With a quick decision not to bother the brothers, April slowly ventured up the stairs towards the odd sounds that echo above.

At first, she couldn't make them out, it was hard to tell if was a voice or object moving, either way it was obvious someone or something was up there.

Approaching the top of the stairs April finally could pinpoint the direction of the noise, it was coming from Donnie's room, which at the moment April was acquiring.

(Honestly now, why did one of the guys go into my room, they promised me some privacy…)

Figuring one of the boys sneak up out of the lab and up the stairs for some practical joke, no doubt to continue to make fun of the fact of what happened in the lab; April face turned red, she wasn't in the mood for this and to think one of them would dare to go into her room.

Stomping in, suspecting it was Mikey, for certain she knew Leo and Raph were still in the lab from the yelling and laughing, to her surprise it was none of them.

In the deep darkness, someone sat on the bed, cradling themselves, playing with her hair elastic in their hand.

(Donnie!)

The brilliant green turtle sat there in silence, unaware of her presents looking constantly on the elastic, he looked deep in thought, like he was trying to remember something.

(What, how did he get up here? When did he get up here?)

Thinking back April recalled that she never looked over towards his bed in the lab before leaving.

After the ordeal in there, no one must have noticed he was gone; for sure he couldn't have snuck up here in the time frame from her leaving the lab to go to the kitchen, without her hearing him.

Slowly approaching him, April didn't make any sudden movements, she wasn't sure what frame of mind he was in, and with the boys still downstairs unaware of Donnie being up, she couldn't risk him reacting to her poorly.

"Donnie…"

Startled Donnie almost jump out of his shell as he slowly appeared up towards her, his big brown eyes studied her in wonder, he seemed unsure in a way.

Biting her lower lip, April took a couple steps forward, reaching for the lamp on the night stand, turning it on to give the room more light.

Still staring, Donnie tilted his head, looking her over, mostly he was looking towards her hair.

"Donnie your wake, why are you up here?" taking things slowly, she was becoming weary of his stares, something seemed off about how he was looking at her.

It was clear he wasn't eyeing her like some love sick puppy, or anything sexual in nature, or aggressive to say the least, it was more like he didn't understand what he was looking at, or whom.

"Donnie how are you feeling?" staying where she was, it was safer to keep some distance until she was certain it was safe enough to approach him, he was still stronger than her, and if that curious look became one of anger or fear, he could accidentally hurt her.

(Ok, now what do I do? Do I go get the others, do I shout for them? Is it even wise to even turn around?)

Seconds felt like hours as they just stared at each other, there were no words April could think of that she hasn't already tried to get through to him.

She could try another approach, but she feared she might say the wrong thing.

Suddenly Donnie got off the bed slowly moving towards her, eye blanketed in deep thoughts still trying to figure her out, considering it was still her best choice not to take any sudden movements, April stood still, watching him like a hawk.

Inches away, Donnie started to sniff the air, closer he became, the more he sniffed the air, the odd behaviour scared April, she didn't know what to do.

His actions were more based on instinct than rational thoughts and who knows what else those instincts might make him do.

Slowly his hand shook, reaching for a lock of her hair, as he inhaled her aroma, with a gulp April's fear dominated her, she started to wish she went to the lab first before investigating the top floor.

Still complex and quite uncertain, Donnie tilted his head, taking her all in, before April could react, he had his arms around her, laying his head in the crook of her neck, rubbing it with delightful chirps of joy.

"A…A… April…" Donnie purred, holding her tighter against him.

With a sigh of relief, April eased up as her previous worries washed away, he still had some humanity left, though the sniffing thing was unsettling, to think he recognized her by scent alone.

"Yes Donnie, it's me… Donnie, did you forget I was a turtle?" April had to ask, it was the only thing she could figure out that would explain his bazaar behaviour.

She must still smell like the way she was when she was human, to a point that is.

Donnie purred happily, "A-April turtle? A-April h..how…?"

(What! Wait, he doesn't remember? So the accident left him with amnesia or was it he who did it to himself to push the pain away?)

With a giggle, April tried to stop herself from laughing out loud, for Donnie constant brushing against her neck started to tickle.

"Donnie please, you have to stop that! You're making me ticklish."

Stopping Donnie just rested his head with a sigh of disappointment; gently April got him to let her go.

Leading him to the bed to sit down, she gave him a fast check over to make sure he was ok.

"Donnie, do you remember what happened on top of my roof at my apartment?"

Shaking his head, he wasn't sure what she was talking about, deciding it was best to skip that explanation, April sat down beside him.

"Donnie are you aware that you have been in a coma… rrr asleep for the past couple weeks?" noticing that the word coma wasn't ringing a bell, April had to simplify things, he caught on faster that way.

In response Donnie tilted his head with a shrug, it was apparent he had no idea, but there had to be a way to find out how far back he remembered, for sure the incident with her being mutated wasn't something he knew of, then so how far back then?

Thinking over it, it hit her, April quickly got off the bed, taking the book that she been reading to him, opening the pages she gave the book to Donnie.

"Donnie can you find the last page that you remember I left off?" April knew roughly where she was in the book, at any given time.

Taking the book Donnie smiled at it, he really did enjoy it, flipping the pages Donnie stop pointing to a page.

(That far back, huh, his memory stops sometime between the incident in the Dojo with him almost strangling me and when he put me into that machine…)

With a smile, April place the bookmark on that page, then placed it back on the night stand, "Thank you Donnie, oh don't be upset, its ok that you don't remember after that page, it wasn't important ok."

Down, Donnie looked at the floor, the amount of pages from the spot he remember and where April did leave off, was great, even in his condition he could tell he was missing much.

With a sad chirp Donnie looked up at April then placed his hand on her cheek, reading him April realized what was bothering the poor turtle.

"You want to know what happen to me, don't you?"

With a nod Donnie wrapped his arms around her, placing his head on her shoulder once more; it was the one position that made him feel secure.

"Well… let's put it this way, it was an accident. Ancient history, nothing to truly worry about. Trust me Donnie its best to leave it, now I think we should go see your brothers. By now they must have noticed you are missing… or still goofing off," April sighed, Donnie tilted his head in response to her annoying sigh.

Lightly chuckling, April shook her head, "Oh, you don't want to know, for I don't," she smile brightly as he held her tighter, it was time to let the brothers know about the good news, as well to acknowledge it was best not to mention April's mutation or the roof incident.

Donnie was surprisingly well and acting the way he was before things went upside down, and to bring up the two major incidents would push him to the edge once again.

April's greatest fear was repeating the past events, she was dead certain he couldn't handle them, not now, maybe later when he is more sound to mind, but for now, it was best to deny it ever happened for his sake.


	15. Part 15 - (Month 5 Week 3)

**Shattered Mind - Part 15 – (****Month 5 / Week 3****)**

* * *

Month 5 / Week 3

* * *

She sat there at the table with a pen in hand, jotting down notes and ideas that flashed into her head.

April was constructing a new list and schedule for Donnie, the past two weeks all she did was observed him.

Taking down every detail on the way he reacted to things, how much of his memory did truly remain, and as well where he stood in his recovery.

In her findings, Donnie was better than when she first left after her mutation, but not as ahead or close to where he was before the roof accident.

His speech needed much improvement, he would string up two to four words at best, but no more, and he tends to leave words out or get frustrated when he tries to use any complicated words that will not come out.

To top it off, there was new kind of behaviour that has been seen from Donnie; April, even the other brothers has noticed, that Donnie used more emotions to get his point across, even used his body language, other times he was more instinctive or primitive in a way in expressing himself.

If he was put beside a chart by age, April would put him around two to four in most cases, as for the primitive behaviours he acted around his age, luckily he hasn't shown any signs of dominance, yet he acted many times as if Leo was the alpha.

Yet in truth, Donnie didn't have much in a way of being independent though, everyone still had to do things for him, help him, ask him what he wants to do and so on, most times it was a gamble dealing with him.

As the days have pressed on, with no real structure at first until everyone was in agreement what was the best ways to help him, the brothers took shifts coming up with different activities.

Leo thought it was a great idea to start retraining Donnie hoping it will trigger some of his past memories, for it was obvious he remember them since he came home sick, but not any further than that, his and his brother's past was a mystery to Donnie.

With a sigh, April stared at the paper, flickering her pan with her fingers, concerns filled her head, she wondered if his primitive behaviour was a permanent thing.

Leo not worried, comforted her on the fact, when he and his brothers, including Donnie where young, their Sensei had to work on such issues.

Being a turtle, then mutated, left residue of their animal urges and behaviours, Donnie only showed this side of himself time to time when he couldn't figure out how to communicate.

In time like he was young, Leo will show him how to suppress it.

News to April, she never considered this, she was born and raised as a human, she never considered the battle they would face to suppress their animal side, in turn, it did disturb her more after her talk with Leo, not on the notion of Donnie, but herself.

Sure, she hasn't shown any odd behaviours that she has noticed, but what if the turtle part of her starts to kick in…

Shaking her head, April put the lingering thought away, locking it up in the back of her mind, she didn't want Leo to read her as he had a habit in doing so, even Raph could tell when something is bothering her.

She was over reading her fears, she had to focus on the one thing that matter more than anything, Donnie's health.

Looking over the list again, April made sure everything was in order before she showed it to Leo for his opinion and she wanted to see if he had any changes or add ons he believes that would help.

She felt a bit out of her element this time around and wanted all the help she can get.

Suddenly, out of nowhere April felt a presence behind her as she turned her head to look over her shoulders, it was Raph staring at the paper contently.

"Can I help you?" April smiled at him, she should have known, he has been doing that a lot lately, and if it wasn't him it would have been Donnie.

"Nope, all good, what are you writing?" Raph grabbed the paper before April could answer, turning it this way and that, complex with it, like it was written in an ancient dialect.

"Donnie's new schedule and activities, why do you want to add anything?"

Looking it over, Raph was about to say something, then stopped, "So… why aren't you on this more?"

With a sigh April got up, taking the paper away from Raph, "Simple I want him to depend on you guys more than, just me. Also this might help him with his past," April rub her arm, hiding the fact it was Donnie's odd behaviour that he has been displaying, that made her decide to give the others more time with him.

"Hey," Raph put his arms around her from behind, another thing he has been doing time to time, when he believed no one was around to see.

Raph has been more open towards her and the fact that both Mikey and Donnie do such things, there was no reason he couldn't, especially when she was upset over something.

"Don't worry April, he could be worse; he still has much respect for you and the rest of us. It's just a faze and he will get over it. At least he isn't running around on all fours," Raph barked a laugh on the mere thought, it would in a way be amusing to see Donnie do that.

"Thanks Raph…" April shook her head, she could feel the mental images he was playing in his head, "So what about this list, that you really were thinking about," she turned her head towards him grinning with a tease.

Raph opened his mouth again, then stop himself once more; it was like he didn't want to offend her, raising her eyebrow she got out of his hold on her, "Come on Raphael what is it, spill it."

Rubbing his head Raph coughed a bit, "Well… rrr… its just you put down drawing time… I don't get it, what does drawing have anything to do with him getting better, sounds stupid…," looking at April, Raph turned white, "Not that I am saying anything bad about your methods its kind of weird…"

Drowning in his own words, Raph decided he should shut up before he digs his hole to the point of no return.

Crossing her arms April stared at him as he wiggled under her gaze, pleased of the effect on him, she smile sweetly, "I know it sounds weird, but it's the best tool that is simple for him to use to express himself on other levels. We still don't know what actually goes through his head, or if anything that is holding him back. So this method, we can determine how he really feels."

"Ok I kind of get it… sort of," Raph still a bit confused not understanding fully still wasn't sure the point of it.

"Let put it this way, if Donnie draws, say rainbows and pink clouds, we know he is happy. If he draws say fire, death, then there is something bothering him. Do you understand now? When we do this activity with him we will ask him a question like draw what you feel, what do you dream about and so on. What he makes will give us a better understanding of him."

Thinking about it, Raph nodded, "Huh, never thought it that way, ok, I guess it's a good thing for him to do, but can you take my name off the part that I am the one doing this with Donnie."

With a smile April started to leave the living room towards the Dojo where Leo was at, "Sorry Raph your name stays, don't worry I am going to help you out."

"Wait, April come on, I don't draw! Get Mikey, he is better at that stuff," Raph complained, with a hint of annoyance.

With a shrug April didn't give in, "No can do, Donnie trusts you more than anyone else other than me, so I think he would be more comfortable having you to help out," she chuckled knowing this was something Raph dread and she like seeing him squirm.

* * *

There in the middle of the Dojo, Leo was meditating with Donnie, not to disturb them April quietly sat down on the side to wait.

Unfortunately, just from her entering the room, regardless how silent she was; Donnie smelled her right away, stopping his meditation looking over towards her, tilting his head in wonder.

Letting out an annoyed sigh, Leo opened his eye, glaring at April, "I just got him to close his eyes… April is there something I can do for you?"

"Sorry Leo, I didn't know that he would notice me that easily…" a bit embarrassed not considering that Donnie would be keener in telling of her arrival in a meditated state, she felt bad interrupting Leo's session.

Donnie looked at the both of them, uncertain why Leo was a bit frustrated; Donnie lowered his head, giving some sympathetic glances towards April.

Realizing how Donnie was acting Leo soften his tone and manner.

He didn't mean to make Donnie feel he was in trouble or April was either, he just was hoping after the past two weeks of this, he could at least get Donnie off of stage one.

Donnie was worse than Mikey for keeping him focus on one task, Donnie's mind kept wandering, especially if April was around.

"Is that the list that you have been working on April?" Leo put his hand out to look it over.

Giving Leo the list and a pen, April stood there watching Donnie, he started to ease up when Leo did, "Yeah, I was wondering what you think and if you wish to add or change anything?"

Looking it over, Leo nodded, "Looks good, can I change some of the areas for training for Donnie? I know you want to keep it consistent day by day, but I think a bit of a mix up would help to teach him such lessons, that life isn't always so predictable. If you think that he can handle this?"

Leo waited for April to think it over, he valued her input and he was winging the thought himself.

"That's not a bad idea, we need to start doing that anyways, let's leave the training on such a schedule, but the rest as is."

Writing in what he wanted to do on what day, Leo tilted his head, trying not to snicker.

Both Donnie and April looked at him, then it hit her, she knew why Leo was acting that way.

"Well, if you dare Leo, I could always switch his name with yours," April smiled wildly as the snicker vanished quickly, he knew she would do that to him.

With a cough Leo looked away trying not to make eye contact to her, "It looks good, not going to ask about that activity. I trust you know what you're doing…" trying to keep his voice steady Leo lost control as he started to laugh.

"Ha ha ha. Raph drawing, oh this is going to be interesting… Don't suspect that his name being Raphael, he could even remotely be that artistic."

Glaring at Leo, April debated to let both Leo and Raph handle the activity instead, yet in the end it would lead to an argument between the brothers, probably on purpose to get out of doing it again.

Sighing, she shook her head, leaning towards Leo, who wipe the tears from under his eyes, "Don't worry Leo the next interesting task or activity that comes up, I will volunteer you."

Leo scratched his cheek, "Well, April… fine, but please let me at least take one shot at him with this," Leo couldn't let the opportunity just pass him by, without at least getting Raph back for what he did to him last week.

Giving in, she nodded, "Fine… just please don't disrupt Donnie… Also Leo," April leaned in closer to whisper, not to let Donnie overhear her, "Why is Donnie looking so confused and complex at us?"

Donnie studying them both, looked like he didn't understand something, it wasn't about what the two turtles were talking about, or Leo's laughing fit, it seemed like he didn't understand something else.

"I think he is wondering why a female is making the Alpha squirm. I mean… I am not being sexist or anything, but as you know, Donnie has been seeing me in this role, although I am trying to let him know it's not like that," Leo explained a bit ashamed to refer April as the female.

Understanding Leo didn't mean any offense or he believe she played such a role, since she was his friend.

April breathe in, she hated Donnie acting like that, she hope he didn't really consider her as just the female as well, she had her own personality and independents in this household like everyone else.

Sure Donnie didn't act towards her like she was beneath him, but sometimes he gets that look like he doesn't understand why his brothers listen to her when it comes to certain things.

Clearing her head April left the Dojo, as Leo started to go into explaining to Donnie about that, yes, he was the leader and head of the house, but that said he does value others input and appreciate the help for decisions and other things.

* * *

Looking about the living room, it was quiet, too quiet, Mikey was nowhere to be found, so where could he be?

(Huh, I swear he never said anything about leaving the lair? Yet it is really quite though…)

All April needed him for, was to see if he wants to add anything as well, before she made the final schedule.

Searching the lair she came up short, passing by Raph's room suddenly a pair of arms grabbed her, pulling her within.

An aroma all too familiar to her, tickled her beak, as she surrendered into his arms.

She could feel his beak pressing against her neck chirping sweetly, her heart leaped into her throat, the mixture of touch, sound, and smell overwhelmed her senses as she melted.

An urge arose, consuming her; she wanted him to lick her, something more than just holding her and chirping.

"April?" a voice shattered the veil that surrounded her as April came aware she was standing outside Raph's room that had its door shut.

(…Shit again, this is the fourth time I did this, why do I keep fantasizing about Raph? Second thought why do I keep doing it right in front of his door of all places…)

"April are you ok?" Mikey waved his hand in her face to see if she would respond, shaking her head to snap out of it, she wore a smile of reassurance.

"Of course Mikey, I was thinking too deeply… Anyways, I was looking for you," April tried to change the subject right way, before the curious turtle that like to get into things started to interrogate her.

"Ummm ok… are you sure you're ok, you looked really spaced out there for a second," concerned, Mikey was reading her.

Not letting him, April pushed the schedule at him, "Mikey, I need your input, please look it over. If you wish to add anything let me know."

Biting his lip in defeat Mikey sighed, he has been noticing she been doing this of late and he was worried, but being her friend, he wouldn't tell her this or anyone else.

Taking the list, Mikey looked it over then nodded quickly, "Looks good, about your spacing out…"

"That's good," April took the page quickly, she didn't want to have this conversation, with anyone, "I will go make the final schedule now, so we all can start putting it into affect for Donnie."

With that April left quickly before Mikey could put in another word.

(Sorry Mikey, I know you are worried, I wish you wouldn't be, your family isn't going down hill anymore.)

Knowing all too well after everything, Mikey has been making sure that things don't fall apart again, he couldn't handle it if it did, and truth it made him happy and gave him a goal to work on to keep things in a good air.

But there were things that April believed he didn't need to get involved in, yes, she didn't know why she has been doing this, but this was something she needed to figure out on her own.


	16. Part - 16 (Month 6)

**Shattered Mind - Part 16 – (****Month 6****)**

* * *

Month 6

* * *

Staring at the ceiling of the lab, April laid there; deep in thought, the activities for Donnie has been working out so far.

Yet her problems were of her own, she couldn't sleep, the past three nights, no it started sometime after Donnie waking up, she has been having issues getting asleep at night.

At first she figured it was due to the fact she was sleeping in the lab again, considering Donnie was placed back into his room, but to have issues for this long?

Surely by now she would get used to the lab, ok the last time she was in this room alone was when Donnie placed her into that mutation machine… but he wouldn't do anything to her, she was certain on that.

With a sigh, she sat up, stretching as she looked around, it was quiet.

She could go watch the TV that was in the lab or go to the living room, feeling kind of parch; the kitchen seemed the right choice at the moment.

Taking her time she left the lab heading towards the kitchen, the lair was somewhat silent, everyone at this late in the hours of night were fast asleep, being one in the morning, even Raph was home snoring away.

She sometimes wondered why she was even quiet; Raph's noises could override anyone sneaking about.

In the kitchen, April got herself a glass of water, pressing it against her lips, taking a sip she started to choke as Leo startled her.

Sleepily he rubbed his eyes, he looked like he was sleeping on the couch again, no doubt waiting up for Raph, but fell asleep in the process.

Looking her over, feeling a bit guilty for scaring her, Leo gave her a sweet smile, fighting the raging sleep that was trying to claim him, "Sorry April didn't mean to startle you, thought you might have been Raph or Donnie."

When April stop coughing, she took a big breath, "It's ok Leo, fell asleep on the couch again?"

Leo passed her stretching, searching for a glass of his own, "Yeah, by the sounds of it, Raph got home in one piece or Mikey and Donnie inherited the same snoring issues as Raph…"

"I doubt it; he is the only unlucky one… Or is it we are?"

With a light chuckle, Leo agreed, "We are, man, is there a way to, you know, silence it without using force or a pillow?"

Thinking it over, April did hear of some other methods, "There are breathe rights, but I'm not certain that they would work for beaks though."

"We tried that and it made it worse, it sound like a jet went off. It scared us all half to death one night, trust me it was bad," Leo roared on the thought as the memory replayed in his mind.

"Well, breathe rights bad idea; well, I guess the other option is not for him but for us. Ear plugs?" April suggested.

Leo shook his head, "Nah, they feel weird, well I should get back to bed. April are you having problems sleeping still?"

(… So he noticed, why am I not surprised.)

As warmly as she could, she gave Leo a smile, "A bit. Don't worry Leo, it's probably that I am so worried about Donnie, that's all."

Too sleepy to get into it, Leo nodded, taking that as a valid answer, when he was more awake, he might have to press into this issue, there might be something more than April was willing to tell or something she didn't realize that was bothering her sleep.

With a yawn, Leo placed his glass into the sink, sluggishly heading back towards the living room.

Figuring it was best she got back to bed too, April set forth towards the lab only to reach the stairs that led to the top floor, a horrific sound bellowed above, overlapping Raph snoring.

(What… wait, was that coming from Donnie's Room?)

Fear gripped her as she stride up the stairs.

Frantic, Leo, who was not even half way up, jolted wide awake as he scrambled upwards towards Donnie's room.

In all the commotion there within his dark room on his bed, Donnie thrashed about, screaming, growling, the first thing April noticed he had his eyes shut, was he dreaming, well having a nightmare?

In response Leo went forward, trying his best to calm Donnie down, in the mist of the chaos Leo flew into the wall, shaking his head.

Donnie's nightmare escalated, as his growling sounds became more animalistic every second that pass, the air of the room became charged with feelings of deep anger.

April backed up, she didn't want to get too close to him, if Leo couldn't restrain him, how was she?

Suddenly Donnie got to his feet; eyes still shut his nightmare turned into sleep walking.

(Ah crap.)

Before April could do a thing, she found herself pressed tightly against the wall, Donnie beak inches from hers, growling fiercely at her.

Heart in her throat, April could see her life flash in front of her, she felt helpless under his strength, desperately she tried to get through to him, "Donnie, it's me, April, please wake up!"

"Donnie don't!" Leo yelled attempting to get to his feet.

Heavy deep growls came out of Donnie in response, with a huge inhale his nostrils flared, something unsuspected happened, suddenly Donnie place his beak near her neck, starting to chirp at her, his grip turned into a hold, as he started to settle down.

Both April and Leo exchanged looks of disbelief and wonder, neither knew what just happened.

Still asleep Donnie picked April up, setting her in his bed, laying behind her still chirping in delight, holding her tightly.

(…)

"Well… rrr… April is he hurting you?" Leo asked, eyeing his brother who was in complete bliss yet still fast asleep, he wasn't sure what to think at this moment.

"Yeah… Leo, can you help me here, I can't move," April pleaded wanting to get out of the bed, she had the feeling Donnie was fine now, but she didn't want to become his safety blanket for the remainder of the night.

Slowly approaching the bed, suddenly Donnie growled, "Ok ok, I am backing off," Leo put his hands up in defeat figuring the wise choice was not to provoke Donnie especially when he had April.

(Oh come on, really… I can't believe this is happening.)

Hearing all the commotion, Raph and Mikey rushed in, only to be stopped dead by Leo's arm, that prevented the other brothers from going over the invisible line that Donnie has created.

"What the hell is going on?" Raph huffed, not sure what or how this happened or what was happening.

"Donnie had a nightmare and started to act upon it, some reason when he got close to April, just being close to her calm him down, and well the rest you can tell," Leo explained the best he could.

"Is he awake or sleeping?" Mikey questioned, not to snicker, he thought this was quite amusing.

"SLEEPING," April spat glaring at Mikey to hold it or else, for she wanted someone to help her not laugh at her.

"Ok, why are we just standing here watching, lets help her and get back to bed," Raph moved forward, then Donnie responded to his attempt with a warning growl.

Quickly Leo grabbed Raph by the shell, pulling him back, "That is why, every time I got close to Donnie, he became aggressive."

"And every time I try to get out of his hold, he holds me tighter," April added.

"Wow, its like a dog with it's bone," Mikey pointed out with a chuckle.

Overly annoyed by Mikey's view of the situation, April sighed, "I am not sure what is worse, you referred your brother to a dog or me to a bone…"

"Well, anyone have any ideas how to get through this road stop?" Leo asked to stop Mikey's dog comment turning into something that would get him killed over later.

The room fell silent and no one could figure out a way to solve this without making Donnie go complete bat shit.

For sure no one wanted to deal with that or the aftermath of how Donnie would react to his actions after words.

"Why not just leave April as is?" Mikey peeped up breaking the silence.

"That is not a solution dumb ass," Raph barked, back handing Mikey.

Rubbing his head Mikey glared at Raph thinking his idea was stupid, "Yes, it is, Donnie isn't doing anything really wrong to April, only holding her. It's not like he is hurting her. She stays put he might loosen up his grip and maybe she can get free. Or wait for the morning when he wakes up, either way one of us stays here for the night to make sure Donnie behaves."

All eyes were on Mikey, he had a point and it was the most peace keeping idea, and April wasn't in any real danger.

Sighing April laid her head down, feeling defeated, she got comfortable; it was going to be a long night.

"I will take first watch then," Raph volunteered.

Leo shook his head in disagreement, "No, get some sleep Raph you're scheduled to watch Donnie in the morning, I will keep an eye out."

With a huff, Raph opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again when he realized April was still in the room, he couldn't start saying anything about the schedule, he might get grief from her, and he didn't want her to be mad at him.

Surrendering Raph left, grabbing Mikey shell, pulling him along, "Oww owww oww, Raph I can walk to my room on my own!"

"Like hell you can, I know you wanted to stay put and make more fun of this!" Raph voice became distant as he was moving away from the room.

Looking at each other, Leo shrugged, finding a place to sit comfortably, that still had a full view of both Donnie and April.

Figuring Donnie wouldn't do anything male like to April since he didn't so far, he wanted to be sure he could catch any new mood swings out of him, which could indicate the violent dream coming back.

"Never a dull moment… Though I have to admit, this is the first time I have seen one of my brothers take a girl hostage because he is sleepwalking…" Leo chuckled trying to give himself a calmer perspective on what just happened.

"Yeah… Leo… Do you think my scent is the reason he came docile?" April wondered, she was still understanding this scent thing, that she been noticing more, as a human she never had it so, so overpowering.

Thinking it over Leo leaned back, "I wouldn't be surprised, I mean my brothers and I use all our senses, but even then we restrict ourselves on how we use them. Donnie is using his to its full potential. By smelling you might hit him as something calming, secure, he might recognize your scent as someone that protects him, keep him safe when he is scared."

"… Really, I can see that, everyone does that, like some people it is a flower or food that brings backs memories of good times and they start feeling better. I guess we can take the aggression towards you and Raph was more on the fact he feared you were going to take me away, his safety blanket…"

Crossing his arms with a yawn Leo nodded, "Yeah, I thought the same thing, for if he did think of me or Raph as a real threat he would have protected you and attack us with no end. Even with me in the room, he doesn't care as long as I don't get too close."

(… I wish he would just wake up, considering the amount of noise in the room, from just the talking, he should have. It's not like neither I, nor Leo has been quiet, he hasn't even shown a sign of awaking. He must be deep in sleep.)

Shifting a bit, Donnie let her get more comfortable, but still kept her where she laid, then a ring came from the other end of the room.

Startling him, Leo jumped up realizing it was his shell cell; quickly answering it, he left the room.

(Who would call this late at night?)

To answer her questions Leo returned to the room fully equipped, for he had his katana put away before hand, his face was grim with worry.

"Sorry April, something has come up and I have to leave with Raph and Mikey, there is no way I can leave one behind, to help you with Donnie… I really…"

With a nod, April understood whoever was on the other side of the line must really needed Leo and his brothers help for him to insist that all three to go, "Don't worry Leo, I will be fine. Just leave a shell cell on the night stand. If Mikey is right, Donnie will let me go eventually. I am not worried, just go and please Leo, be safe."

With a sigh, Leo left in a flash, leaving April stuck in her position.


	17. Part - 17 (Month 6 - 1hr Later)

**Shattered Mind - Part 17 – (****Month 6 / 1hr later****)**

* * *

Month 6 / 1hr later

* * *

Lying in his bed, still wrapped in Donnie's arms for over an hour now, April wondered if Donnie would ever let her go, she stared at the ceiling in deep thoughts, she worried of Donnie's brother's well being, for this she couldn't get any sleep.

(I hope they are ok…)

With a sigh, she shut her eyes, trying once more to get some rest, for the brothers would be exhausted in the morning, meaning she would have to watch Donnie, surprisingly sleep crept in without out warning, wisping her away.

Sweet dreams filled her head that became heated more by the moment as an alluring aroma tickled her beak.

Suddenly she could feel something warm and wet run across her neck, with a moan that escaped her, it felt so good, she opened her eyes quickly wondering if she was still dreaming or not.

Realizing she was fully awake, April flashed over her shoulder, to notice that Donnie was wide awake, still holding her, yet tighter than before.

With another lick he got her on the cheek, that small, insignificant lick had an unusual big impact on her, shooting shivers of pleasures down her body, which she quite enjoyed.

(Wait, what am I doing!)

Startled by her reaction towards him, April desperately tried to get out of his grip, failing miserably as she realized she couldn't.

Not because he was stronger than her, no it was worse, her body didn't want to respond.

Her brain said one thing; her body did another, as she found herself pressing closer into him wagging her tail wanting more.

Confused, April became scared, she didn't understand why she was acting in this manner.

(This is all wrong, what am I doing?)

Tilting his head, Donnie studied her, sniffing the air looking at her oddly, he must have caught the fear that was coming from her, or something in that manner.

Slowly he came close to her neck with his beak, brushing against her skin softly, chirping to her, asking for permission to continue what he was doing.

Each chirp hit her hard, as her fear was overpowered by an uncontrollable lust that she didn't have the faintest idea where it came from or how to control it.

Bubbling from her own throat, she couldn't stop herself, releasing a couple chirps of her own to answer him.

(This is a dream, right? Why can't I control my own actions… Why do I feel like this? I want him so badly…)

Confusion clouded her mind mix with her feelings, it worsened when Donnie continued showing his affections, with licks and kisses.

Lightly brushing her cheek with his thumb, he licked her neck, while slowly moving his other hand down, rubbing her tail gently, she gasp for air closing her eyes, enjoying every stroke, lick and kiss.

With his other hand, he rubbed her arms softly as she coo to him in response, everything he did, felt right, felt amazing, the urge grew inside her, overwhelming her to the point she lost all thought of reasoning as she pressed her lips against Donnie's, feeling them, tasting them.

(mmmmmm)

She couldn't control herself anymore as she started to kiss and lick him, enjoying every second of it.

His smell was so sweet, so exhilarating that she gave up altogether not caring anymore, indulging into her sexual needs, twisting her tail around his, Donnie chirp excitedly as he took that as a sign that she was ready for him to make love to her.

* * *

Huffing, April let the rollercoaster of feelings play their course as she was in complete bliss, Donnie nuzzled into her satisfied that he pleasured her, as he fell back to sleep, exhausted from the couple hours of constant mating.

She too feeling weak and tired, couldn't sleep as the bliss started to fade and the realization of her playtime with Donnie came into full view.

(I can't believe I just did that… why did I just do that?)

Staring at his peaceful face that was in complete bliss, feelings of guilt washed over April as she slowly got out of bed; luckily Donnie didn't notice or stopped her.

April felt dirty, disgusted of herself in taking advantage of Donnie like this.

She was to be the responsible one here, the one that was watching over him, yet she let herself to lose control, over her own lust.

(How could have I done that to him…)

Shaking her head she wanted to cry, she wondered if this was classified as rape, did she rape Donnie?

She knew she had something to do with his lustful behaviour… but was it truly all her fault?

Leaving the room, she figured he would be fine; she needed a shower to clear her mind to figure out what happened and if she did indeed do something she couldn't bear to think of.

Outside his room, the lair was quiet, noticing no one was back yet part of her was happy to see that, she didn't want one of the brothers to know what she has just done, although at the pit of her stomach she worried they weren't home yet.

(No, I can't think the worse, I really need a shower. What am I going to do? Do I tell Leo about this? Donnie no doubt will act differently around me… What do I do…)

Frantic, April quickened her steps, hurrying down the stairs entering the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Breathing heavy she knew she couldn't lock it regardless if she really wanted too, with a sigh, she stumbled towards the room where the showers were.

Hoping no one would think to take a shower, she turned on the water soaking under it closing her eyes, wishing it would wash away everything that just occurred.

Use to living with the guys she wasn't worried about someone walking in on her, it's not like she was human anymore.

Yet she hoped no one would come in, she wasn't sure how she would react seeing one of the brothers, she might start breaking down crying in the condition she was in at the moment.

Deep down, she was satisfied with the time she had with Donnie, she even enjoyed every moment, but the guilt hounded her, not leaving her alone.

Closing her eyes tighter, she leaned her head against the wall, letting her locks of hair fall in front of her face.

"April?" Raph voice came behind her in a worrisome tone.

Almost jumping out of her shell, April turned around quickly.

There at the door stood Raph who was full of mud from head to toe, he looked like he was mud wrestling.

"Raph what happened?" April asked, trying to hide she was upset over something.

"Trust me, you don't want to know, are you ok? Why are you taking a shower so late… well early…?" Raph came into the room looking for a scrub brush and wash clothes; he wasn't so embarrassed in coming in.

"I'm fine, Donnie finally let me go, he was all sweaty, so I thought it would be best to take a shower," she half lied for in truth Donnie did get sweaty, but so did she.

April watched him, as Raph looked into the shelves for the scrub brush, finally finding it, he looked towards April, she seemed upset was it because he was in there and didn't act on the fact she was in the shower?

"Huh, ok, can I take a shower or do you want me to wait until you're done. I can wait outside," finding what he needed Raph made his pile he would take for his shower, he really wanted to get clean, and he didn't care if she was in there, but if she felt weird for him being there he didn't want to push it.

Shaking her head, she didn't mind, "Go ahead Raph, as long you're comfortable, it doesn't bother me, I had Mikey walk in on me so many times that I got used to it," April chuckle lightly.

With a smirk Raph shook his head, "Damn purve of course he would, fine, I really need to get this shit off of me."

Taking the shower at the far end of the room Raph got his water ready, with his shell facing towards her, April noticed how dirty it was, it looked caked on, there was no way Raph was going to be able to wash it off on his own.

"So is everyone mucked up or where you the lucky one?"

Raph shrugged, "The lucky one, or more like Mikey grrr… damn idiot," with a huff Raph went under the water.

"Yep, you're right, I don't want to know… Raph you are aware that your shell is so dirty that your scrub brush will be useless, unless someone helps you?" April pointed out.

"Damn… ok, can you get Leo in here then, not Mikey, unless you want there to only be three brothers living with you."

Chuckling again April sighed, "I am content with the four of you, don't need to pick off your little brother. Why don't I help you?" April offered.

Raph froze as his face turned red, looking away quickly he mumbled, "If you want…"

Giving him an odd look April bit her lower lip, maybe she stepped over her boundaries on that question, "Sorry Raph, if I made you feel uncomfortable, I will go get Leo."

"NO… I mean, it's ok. You probably will do a better job than Leo and I really don't want to hear some stupid lecture from him anyways," Raph spit out quickly, turning towards her offering her the brush.

"Ok," with that April took the brush, cleaning his shell.

She was right, it was caked on, she had to press as hard as she could, just to see the color of his shell.

Brushing she could feel the heat coming off of him, the water was cool why was his body so warm?

Almost fully clean, then an aroma from Raph caught her beak, it was sweet, memorizing, stopping what she was doing, April panic, staring at his shell.

(Oh no, not again…)

Reliving the hours ago in her head, she felt her body become warmer, this was the same thing that started the thing between her and Donnie.

The room was silent for the only sounds were the showers, noticing April stop brushing, Raph turned himself towards her, as he studied her, he wondered why she stopped, she couldn't be done cleaning his shell yet, could she?

"April?" Raph got close to see what was the matter, as he looked down at her, she seemed distant, something was on her mind, she seemed odd to him yet there was something about her that made him want to get closer to her.

Her hands shook, the smell was still lingering and she could feel the little urge start growing within her, it worsened when Raph put his hand onto her shoulder to see if she was ok.

Slowly looking up towards Raph, he seemed confused, yet a spark in the back of his eyes was starting to show.

Raph nostril flared a bit, he tried to hide it as he turned red, with a gulp, Raph stood there frozen not sure if he should or not.

His hand started to trail down her arm, the feel of his gentle hand made her gasp for air, as she realized she stop breathing.

Looking her over, Raph moved in, kissing her, the exact moment that their lips touch, she started to melt, suddenly Raph grabbed her forcefully, pressing her against him tightly, passionately kissing her losing all control and thoughts.

Her tail started to wag, as she couldn't stop herself from kissing and licking his neck, Raph chirped in delight by her seductive touch.

Words lost, replaced by action and sounds of moans and chirps, Raph picked April up pressing her gently against the wall, positioning her, chirping near her neck he waited for her permission.

Giving it to him, Raph didn't take a moment to spare as he pleasured her deeply.

A raging lust took over as they became intimate, after both were satisfied; Raph brushed her hair away to access her cheek as he kissed her lovingly, then took his leave for his body called for sleep.

She stood there alone, staring at him leaving the room, her legs started to tremble giving in as she fell to the ground.

On the shower floor April gasped for air, closing her eyes as she started to cry, she did it again, she knew for sure she was the cause of it.

(What's wrong with me, not only I went for Donnie, I went for Raph too…)

Tears escaped her, then the shower she had on earlier turned off, as a set of footsteps came towards her turning of the water of Raph's shower.

Who ever it was loomed over her, surprised she felt something soft wrap around her, looking at it she noticed it was a towel.

Hesitantly, she looked up to see who it was, it was Leo; he had a sympathetic look on his face as he helped her up to her feet.

April felt scared she didn't want Leo near her, what if she does it to him what she did to Raph and Donnie, "Leo please you have to get away from me…" April looked away, ashamed, scared and overly disgusted of herself, she didn't know what was wrong with her, and if she did seduce Leo she couldn't live with herself for he was her best friend.

With a sigh, Leo made sure to talk calmly to her, "April don't worry, I have no attraction to you, nor does Mikey so please don't worry. I will make some tea, why don't you come with me."

April eyes full a tears, she looked at him unsure, her fear was overwhelming that she wanted no more then to run away before she lost control of herself once again, April sniffed, trying to get her words out between her sobs, "What do you mean?"

Leo put his arm around her, leading her out of the bathroom, "I will explain it the best I can when your nerves are not so bad."

Nodding April placed her head onto his shoulder, letting him lead the way, she still felt uneasy but she trusted Leo.

Bringing her to the table in the kitchen, Mikey had some tea ready, wondering if he should stay around or not, Leo indicated he was best to stay, Mikey sat down quietly.

Quickly realizing April looked wearily at him, Mikey shook his hands, "Don't worry April I don't think of you that way, you're too much like a sister."

April looked at the chair, still not understanding, yet she was a bit relieved by Mikey's words.

April took a seat, while Leo placed a cup of tea in front of her.

April just stared at it for a few seconds before taking a sip, it made her feel warm as she noticed her nerves started to calm down and her mind started to clear up.

Settled down, Leo finally explained, "April it wasn't your fault or theirs… yes, I know about Donnie, you can say… rrr… I could smell it."

"Why do you think it isn't… I don't know what happened… and…" April broke down in tears as her guilt swallowed her up.

(The worst part is I enjoyed it… There is something really wrong with me.)

Biting his lip Leo took a sip of his tea, "You're in… heat," Leo pushed the word out which wasn't easy for him to say.

Almost choking on her own tea, April eyes widen, "I am what?!"

"I think… no, Mikey and I think you're in some kind of heat. We have been noticing a smell from you for over a week now, and Raph and Donnie been reacting to it. But we weren't sure at the time what it was or realize it was even a possibility that you could go into a heat cycle. Donnie was the one that would have figured this out beforehand… Sorry, this is even new to us…," holding his cup Leo looked into it.

"Ok… if I am, why just them? You're males too?" April still couldn't believe what she was hearing, but it did make sense, considering how she has been feeling lately.

"That is because we aren't interested in you and you're not interested in us, that's what we figure. Raph and Donnie, is a different story. Sorry April we do know, you and Raph have been getting close and for Donnie, it's been there from the beginning," Leo said, he felt bad for bringing that up, for he felt it wasn't really his business, what April relationship was with Raph or Donnie.

Slumping into her chair April stared at the table, "I see… so other words I seduced them by my pheromones…"

"I think you both did," Mikey jumped in, he didn't like seeing April so depressed.

"Mikey is right, I believe you both did, so no, you didn't rape them or… do you feel they did to you?" Leo had to ask, for in his mind she didn't but does she feel they did to her though?

April sighed, looking up, "No, I know I was at fault for both of them, and the worst part is that I knew I should stop, or not go near them but I still…"

Not able to take it anymore, Mikey got off his chair going around the table, going behind April giving her a big hug to comfort her, "April its ok they won't blame you, we don't."

Looking over her shoulder April smiled sweetly to Mikey's optimism, "Thanks Mikey, but I still feel bad; it will take a bit until I feel otherwise… I need to talk to both of them, maybe then I will be ok."

"We'll leave that till the morning, April why don't you sleep in my room, this way you don't have to pass Donnie's or Raph's room. I don't know if you still are in heat or not, but not having the full smell of them will not take control of you. But the same time I think you not being near them is part of the reason you're not sleeping," Leo suggested.

"Are you sure Leo?"

"Yeah, I will bunk with Mikey so I am still in earshot. I have to make sure Donnie and Raph don't look for seconds, who knows how long it takes them to get your scent out of their system."

With a nod April got up slowly, she was starting to feel the pain of her constant sexual activities as she started to burn all over.

Settling into Leo's room, she could smell Donnie and Raph from there, it was more comforting, than alluring, not having the full scent overwhelming her, it didn't make her feel funny.

Leo was right stating she was best to sleep in his room, she felt calm as she fell fast asleep, less restless compare when she was trying to sleep in the lab.


	18. Part - 18 (Month 6 - Week 2)

**Shattered Mind - Part 18– (****Month 6 / week 2****)**

* * *

Month 6 / week 2

* * *

The lab was filled with the sounds of laughter from the television that played an old rerun of a sitcom that April seen a thousand times.

She was bored and mostly lonely, as she buried her face deeper into the couch's pillow for some sort of comfort.

The past weeks were nothing but short then hell itself, being cut off to everyone for her control of her own hormones wasn't there anymore, although she did have control towards Leo and Mikey, but Leo had to make certain rules, so she didn't come into contact to either Raph or Donnie.

Raph as Leo told April, understood and felt a bit ashamed over his actions, as for Donnie that was a different case on its own.

He didn't understand why he couldn't be around her, in her time of her heat cycle, for he believed if she needed him, he would give her whatever she wanted.

Leo in many attempts, tried to explain to him that things don't work that way, yes April was in heat, but that doesn't mean she really wanted to mate with him, or the fact they did the first day doesn't necessarily mean Donnie was her mate either.

Finally giving up for his words only fell on deaf ears, Leo put his foot down and made new rules until April was back to normal.

No one was allowed near her, only Leo, he made sure it was clear that the reason was not, for he was claiming her, but he was the head of the house, he was the only one that was to care for her while she stayed in the lab.

For that no one was allowed in, this commend hit Donnie hard, but he obeyed.

In many ways it was harsh, for Mikey didn't have to worry about being seduced by April, but Leo feared the way Donnie was acting, if he found out that Raph too mated with April, it might start something that Leo wanted to avoid.

April sighed stretching out, leaning her head over the couch's arm, staring at the lab door, waiting for it to magically open.

(When will this nightmare end? I can't stand it anymore, if the lust doesn't make me go insane the loneliness and being caged in, will!)

Frustrated April flung herself into the cushions of the couch as they devoured her, completely covered by pillows, cushions and blankets, she sulked.

This whole situation was getting to her badly, she could feel it, tearing her apart piece by piece.

The worst of all of this was the fact on the other side of the door was the guys, living their life while she was imprisoned there.

"Comfy?" Leo voice came from the edge of the couch, his grey blue eyes looked upon her as he attempted to keep a smile, yet deep down, he hated treating April in such a manner, having her lock up like she had done something wrong.

With a quick thrust, April kicked a pillow at his head, with his hand, he reflected it, sighing shaking his head, Leo sat down on the mess, hoping he wasn't sitting on top of her.

Uncovering her head, April looked over towards Leo, who in turn was trying his hardest to keep the smile on his face, "Leo when do you think I can get out of here? I am going stir crazy. I even noticed a nice coconut on a shelf over there that might make a good friend."

A small snicker came from Leo as a real smile took over his fake one, smiling back, that silly joke even made her feel a bit better.

"Believe me when I say I know how you feel, I haven't left the lair for two weeks now, and it's been getting to me too," Leo sighed longing to go outside even for a quick roof jumping, hell he didn't care if the reason was to drag Raph ass home, any excuse would do.

"Wow, two weeks, try around two months… The last time I was out it was winter, it's spring now, and the sounds of it, the weather been on the warm side too," burying her head once more, the thought of fresh spring air, just tested her mood more.

(I really want to go outside…)

"Yeah, it has been, what Raph has been boasting," Leo sat back, he too was becoming depressed, as thought of fresh air rained on him hard.

Suddenly a flash of thought hit April, as an idea screamed in her mind, overly excited she sprung up almost throwing Leo off the couch, as pillows and cushions flew into the air.

"Hey! April what's wrong?!" Leo yelped catching his balance as he almost face planted the coffee table.

She couldn't hold herself back as she grabbed Leo's hand tightly with a big grin, Leo could only look at her wary of the sudden mood change.

"I have a great idea, when we know I am in the clear, why don't we all go to my farm for a week or two?" April proposed.

"Farm?" forgetting that April owned a farm outside the city that no one knows about, Leo wished he thought of it earlier, "Oh right, that farm, that is the one I have never seen, the one that only Raph been at? You have mentioned it was on a private property and hidden from prying eyes, right?"

"Yes and it has a couple acres, including trails and a nice pond in the back. The place is all private not even hunters are allowed, it would be a perfect place that is safe to bring Donnie for he too needs to get out of the lair," the mere thought of this vacation was overwhelming that April wanted to go at that very moment.

"Ok," Leo chuckled over her new energetic mood, "Let me talk to my brothers to see what they think. To me this would be a good change of scenery, but first we need to make sure you're not in heat. As well you have to talk to Donnie about you and him, so he understands. I will go get Mikey to determine if he can still smell you, since I can't smell your other scent anymore. If Mikey can't either, I was wondering if it is ok with you that I send in Raph to see?" Leo asked while he got off the couch.

"I will be fine with that, I prefer Raph then Donnie since I don't know how he is going to act towards me," April said a bit sadly, she did worry about Donnie, she knew what she has done probably confused him, she hope she could make omens for her actions.

Leaving the lab, April cleaned up her fort she had made in her so called boredom, neat and tidy the door opened, there stood Mikey smiling ear to ear.

In a flash the orange ninja came up to her, pinning her down on the couch hugging her, "April I miss you!"

(Well, he is acting like he hasn't seen me for ages.)

Laughing April pushed Mikey off of her, still smiling Mikey look really excited, "So Mikey do I pass?"

Nodding his head quickly, Mikey didn't stop smiling, like he was going to burst, he rambled quickly, "Leo said we are going to your farm, is that true, is it nice, I heard there was a pond. Is there a lot of trees, what…."

Placing her hand on Mikey's face to make him focus on her, she smiled, "Yes and the rest you will have to see, now no more questions ok."

"But but but…"

Narrowing her eyes April gave Mikey the look which made him lower his head quickly, "Ok April, but it is nice right?"

"Yes Mikey, I know you will have a lot of fun. That said, if I am ok, can you go get Raph, the real test needs to be done," quivering on the last part, April feared what if she was still in heat and the two brothers just can't tell, but Raph would.

Reading her Mikey, could see what was on her mind, "If you want, do you want to wait, there is no rush…"

Thinking it over, it had to happen and she really didn't want to stay in the lab anymore either way, "It's ok Mikey, please go get Raph, thanks."

With that the cheerful turtle left fetching Raph, moments later Raph came in, shutting the door behind him, he had a worrisome expression on his face.

With a big breath, he slowly came up to April, watching him she stayed where she was, she was at a loss of words, regardless that Leo said Raph didn't blame her she needed to hear it from him.

"So I was told you got the ok from both Leo and Mikey and I am here to determine if you're back to normal…" Raph didn't make eye contact to April.

"Yeah, so do you feel, you know? I am not sure it is as noticeable when you're so far away, last time… rrr… last time we were closer…" April fiddle her fingers looking away from Raph fearing her eyes making contact with his.

With a sigh Raph plopped on the couch beside her staring at the ground, neither moved, nor said a peep, looking away from each other.

The silence and awkwardness in the room was so thick, not even Leo's katanas couldn't cut through it.

(Now what? I don't feel like ravaging him that is a good thing, but what do I say to him. Oh, sorry for having sex with you was a bit hormonal at the time…)

"April… I'm sorry…" Raph broke the silence.

Upset that he would dare to say that, when it was clearly not his fault she scolded, looking at him, "Raph what the hell, sorry? It wasn't your fault you don't have to be sorry about anything," spitting that out more forcefully than she attended, it even made Raph jump.

Raph became nervous, biting his lower lip, "I know that I am not at fault, but also know that you are not either. What I mean by sorry is that I noticed your smell was becoming different. To the point I thought you might be going into something like heat but, I didn't say anything for I thought it was in my head. So sorry, I should have said something…"

"Oh… It's still not your fault…" April relaxed slumping into the couch, why blame him for that, like Leo said this was even new to them, how could Raph known better, even if he mentioned it, what happened probably would have happen anyways, and second what's the point in living in the past with what ifs, they will just drive you insane.

"Raph, now what? I mean we did… you know, because it's obvious we like each other…"

"You also like Donnie," Raph pointed out, he put two and two together, it wasn't hard to see, that she also had a moment with Donnie too.

"Yeah… I must really look like a slut," April lowered her head in shame; she never thought she would do such a thing.

Putting his arm around April, Raph pulled her towards him, to comfort her, "No, your no slut, human rules don't apply ok. As well at least you like one of my brothers then some dumb ass human."

April looked at him in disbelief, "Yeah… that wasn't what I was suspecting you to say."

Raph chuckle, "I had to face the facts, you like me and Donnie so in the end one of us will hopefully win you over, down the road sometime. Until then I will not get jealous since I am relieved its Donnie not Mikey, for that will be just plain wrong!"

Raph burst out laughing on the thought and how disturbing it was, shaking her head, she watched Raph, he was taking all this very well, but he did have at least two weeks to think it over.

(So in the end I would choose one of them… I really don't know and really does it matter at this moment? Seems like Raph is acting the same as he always was, still open to me and he is smiling too which is nice. I was so afraid we would be awkward towards each other, and I never will see that smile of his.)

Leaning against him with her head on his shoulder, April closed her eyes taking this as her one moment to get close to Raph, reading her Raph held her in return.

"I guess we shouldn't act like this towards each other not until you decide and Donnie feels better?" Raph sighed; to think he wished this would last longer or it wasn't so complicated.

"By the looks of it that is how it is going to go… The hardest part is talking to Donnie, making him understand. I want nothing to change between him and me… I want him to get better…"

Letting April go, Raph got to his feet, "Yeah Donnie comes first I agree, so do you want help?"

Shaking her head, April too got to her feet heading towards the lab doors, "No, I think I have to do it alone, I really don't want him to get suspicious towards you Raph. We can't afford your relationship with him to be spoiled over this."

Leaving the room Leo waited outside the door with a smile of relief, "So I take it, he ok you then?"

"Yep, no more hormonal crap, so where is Donnie? I really should talk to him right away," April explained as she looked around the living room to see if he was there.

"He is in his room, I will accompany…" Leo started to say, then was cut off by April.

"No, Leo I need to do this alone. I know this concerns you, but this is a private thing and I have a feeling you there will make things more complicated than it should be."

Leo didn't like this, crossing his arms, he wondered if it was wise to let her go in alone, but April face assured him she would be fine.

Giving in, Leo sighed, "Fine, leave the door open and I will be in earshot, if anything happens please yell for me."

(I don't think we have to go that far… but if it makes him feel better, then I can't say no.)

"I will Leo, thanks."

Running up the stairs April knocked onto Donnie's door that was shut at the moment, slowly opening it, April went in announcing herself, "Donnie it me April, its ok I come in?"

Door fully opened, she looked inside, there on the other side of the room was Donnie, who was on his bed cross legged drawing on a piece of paper, he flashed his head up as he heard her voice and smelled her scent.

His eyes were filled with joy in seeing her, as he practically threw his drawing on his bed, jumping off it to go towards her.

(I have to set the boundaries.)

Placing her hand out she stopped Donnie in his tracks, looking at her hand, then her, Donnie was confused, he thought she was happy to see him.

"Donnie before this goes any further, we need to talk first please," April started with a stern face, not too much to look like she was upset with him, but enough that she came across that she was serious and this talk had to happen now.

Tilting his head Donnie sighed and he slumped down onto his bed; he didn't say a word, waiting for her to say whatever it was on her mind.

(Well, that was easy… now the hard part.)

"Donnie what happened between us, it shouldn't have happened," not sure if that was too harsh, April didn't know any other way to say it, that wouldn't make it sound like she was kicking around the bushes on the subject, she needed him to understand fully.

Donnie looked at her sadly, as he played with his fingers, "Donnie wasn't good enough for April?"

Shocked April couldn't believe Donnie actually said a full sentence so clearly; third person still, but he did it so well.

Recovering from her shock, she focus back to the conversation, "It… that is not the reason…"

More confused than before Donnie got to his feet, "Then why? Why does April think it shouldn't have happened! If Donnie pleased you right and satisfied your needs, then why?"

(When did he start talking so fluently, he is beyond where he was two weeks ago, Leo never mentioned this before… Has he been hiding it!?)

"Donnie, please tell me why all the sudden you are talking so perfectly? Only a couple weeks ago you couldn't string more than four words, and now you're talking in paragraphs?" April had to know this seemed impossible, this is the same Donnie she knew two weeks ago, right?

"Don't change the topic April, why do you insist that you and Donnie should never mated, when it was clear that you like Donnie and picked Donnie when you were in heat!" Donnie shouted angrily with tears streaming from his eyes.

(He knew why I was acting the way I was… He understands that much, and he is talking so well too… What is going on?)

April didn't know what to say, overwhelmed by the situation, then out of the frustration of the conversation she lost her temper, "Because you're still not well Donnie, that is why! I want you to like me because you do, not because you think you like me, for I cared for you and I am the only girl in your life! That is why…"

The room started to feel it was getting smaller, as the air became thin.

Over emotional April turned around to run, she couldn't take it, this conversation didn't make sense, the way Donnie was acting seemed impossible…

She wished Donnie was only talking like he was before, for he was harder to face now more than ever, she wasn't prepared for this, she didn't know how to handle him or what to suspect from him.

Before she made it to the door, his hand grabbed her arm gently pulling her back, wrapping her into his arms, she could feel his tears hit her shoulders.

"Donnie sorry, Donnie didn't mean to upset April. Donnie is still sick, Donnie knows that… April, Donnie is sorry, please don't hate Donnie. Donnie wants you to still help Donnie, only you can help Donnie. Please April don't leave, Donnie promise not to upset April again, Donnie promise to get better," Donnie sulked, crying heavily into her red locks, his fear was genuine for April could smell it off of him.

Holding her own tears away, she closed her eyes, slowly stroking Donnie's head, "Ok, Donnie then answer me this, have you been hiding your development from me and your brothers?"

"Yes…"

(So he has been keeping it from us, why?)

Making Donnie to let her go, April turned around to face him, to see him eye to eye, "Why would you do that Donnie, we make your schedule base on your current state, to help you. How are we to continue in helping you, if you hide this from us?"

Looking ashamed Donnie put his head down, "Donnie thought April would leave if Donnie got better…"

Shaking her head, she sighed, she should have known he would start this again sometime, only if she explained to him this could have been avoided, "Donnie I am not going to leave if you get better. You and your brothers are my family; I wouldn't leave just like that. Don't you understand?"

"Family…" Donnie played with the word looking up towards her, his eyes once again filled with tears as he went over to her, hugging her, laying his head onto her shoulder, "Family… April is family, part of our family. Donnie sorry April, Donnie was foolish, Donnie should have known, Donnie was afraid, to lose you. The one person Donnie cares more than anything."

Stroking his head, April smiled, "Silly turtle, you don't have to be afraid. We are all here for you. Just promise me Donnie no more hiding things, its time to get you back onto track, but first if you haven't heard Leo was thinking of all of us to go on a vacation, if everyone agrees that is. That also includes you."

Lifting his head Donnie smiled, "Ok Donnie wants to go and Donnie will tell Leo… April Donnie still likes you, but Donnie will wait, Donnie promise to be good," with that Donnie kissed April on the cheek then left the room to find Leo to tell him his opinion on the vacation idea.

(So the accident on the roof actually did correct some issues he had… But his own fear of losing me, made him hide it? So Donnie is getting better then…)

Standing there April stared, then sighed, her feelings waving and finding out Donnie has progressed much, she let everything slide by, for the thought of a vacation became number one on her list, as she felt more relieved to know Donnie was better.

As she saw it, for the moment, she needed this getaway, to relax a bit, then she will rethink things after that, Donnie too need this before things were reorganized to help him get better, all that was on her mind was that she wanted the brothers to enjoy themselves without worries or stress, including Donnie.


	19. Part 19 - (Month 6 - week 4)

**Shattered Mind - Part 19– (****Month 6 / week 4****)**

* * *

Month 6 / week 4

* * *

The sun was high in the sky, beating down its warm glow over her shell, April relished in the feeling closing her eyes as she took in the spring air, it was fresh and she could feel the serenity taking her away.

"Mikey, you invalid get back here and help!" Raph barked angrily at his brother that was goofing around.

(Oh right… they are here, I should have known, it wasn't going to be a quiet day…)

Leo shaking his head, continued unpacking the car, as Raph ran after Mikey which seemed more of an excuse for the both of them to avoid work, as for Donnie, he watched his brothers curiously, tugging on his purple bandana that was really the first time he has worn it.

Sure, many times they tried to get him to wear it, but he kept taking it off, this time it was the longest time frame that he didn't rip it off.

"Donnie stopped tugging on your bandana," Leo told him carrying a box from the car with a sigh.

"But… why do Donnie have to wear it?" a bit annoyed at how it felt he tugged at it again.

With a sigh, Leo rolled his eyes, he didn't know how many times he had to explain it, "Because when we are out of the lair, we have to wear it, it's part of who we are and we are ninjas.

Not bothering to get into details, Leo left his explanation as is, for anything more complicated tends to go over Donnie's head, he was still having issues understanding things, he was like a curious child that kept asking questions, and even asking the same ones over and over again.

"Ninjas?" Donnie looked at his bandana again.

"Yeah, Ninjas we are ninjas, see," Mikey showed off, but lost his footing wiping out onto the ground.

"Jeez, you ass, what the hell was that? Donnie don't ever take Mikey as an example of a ninja, he sucks," Raph rubbed his head in disbelief.

Quickly Mikey jumped to his feet, brushing the dirt off of himself looking at Raph with a questionable smile.

"If I suck… Then tell me, who beat you at the battle nexus huh, or was the winner of the tournament? Drum roll please... me Michelangelo the great!" Mikey praised himself.

Narrowing his eyes Raph huffed, "That was dumb luck, Mikey, you couldn't fight out of a paper bag. If it wasn't your horse shoes up your ass, you would have been creamed. Besides, I felt sorry for you and let you beat me."

Getting close to Raph, Mikey smiled devilishly, "Oh really, that's not what I remember, you were fighting your all and you never would let me win, not in front of thousands of fans. You lost because I am better than you Raphie!"

As the word rolled off Mikey's tongue, the trickster hit his mark as Raph eyes narrowed; fired up, clenching his fists tightly, Raph, growled in anger, "What did you say! Don't you dare call me that Mikey, you're DEAD you hear me!"

Running away Mikey patted his butt mocking Raph more, then ran for his life, for it was in danger, taking the direction towards the barn, they disappeared behind it, heading for the tree line.

(Well, now…)

Speechless, unsure what to say to the little drama that played out, April and Donnie watched them, putting her head in her hand April could only sigh deeply, taking an obvious note that it was going to be a long two weeks.

At least she still was in the company with two brothers that were sensible, although she did wonder how long it would take Raph and Leo to go at it, then again she never really have to worry about Donnie at least, she hoped…

Remembering about the purple clad turtle, she wondered what he thought of this display, tilting her head towards Donnie, he seemed unfazed like this was nothing new, which wasn't and was a relief he wasn't bothered by it, yet he was still fidgeting with his bandana.

"Donnie please stop, it looks good on you," April gently placed her hands on top of his, to stop him from tugging on it more, as he had managed to get it around his neck.

Donnie giving up, he let it go, looking at her, he wasn't so certain, "Why doesn't April were one?"

With a sweet smile April fixed his bandana making sure it wasn't too tight but tight enough to stay on right, "Because I am no ninja, that is why. There, is that better?"

Donnie looked at it in the mirror on the car, "Yeah… April why purple? Mikey wears Orange, Leo blue and Raph red, why?"

April shrugged, "I don't know really, I never asked, maybe you should ask Leo, he should know."

"Donnie thinks he said why… Can't remember… April why do you think we do?" Donnie looked at her leaning against the car with wondering eyes.

"You want my opinion then?"

With a nod, Donnie looked eager to hear her explanation, smiling sweetly she gave it some thought before she answered him.

"Well, I think each color suit each one of your personalities. See Orange is a playful, bright color so it suits Mikey since he is so playful and happy. Red is a strong and passionate and sometime a wild color, Raph is quite strong and very passionate in what he does, more than he lets on. Also other times he can be wild by getting angry or the way he fights. Blue to me is calm, stable and sometime a lonely color. Leo is very calm and he keeps things steady and stable, a born leader, yet sometimes he thinks he is on his own, which makes him lonely."

"Huh April what does purple mean for you?" Donnie leaned forward very interested in what April was telling him.

"Well purple to me is kind, caring and sacrificial."

"Sacrificial?" Tilting his head, Donnie didn't understand what she meant, playing with the word.

"Oh, sorry, I mean by that is, to me purple being between blue and red the primary colors, it tends to put itself in between things. Sure orange is also a between color, but it's a lighter color. Purple is a dark color, so it takes upon itself more responsibility, compare to Orange which because it is a lighter takes the easy, simple road. So to me when someone is like purple they would give anything up just to see others happy and safe, even if it means giving their lives away…" realizing what she was saying April froze, turning white.

(Damn it, why did I say that to him in that manner… That's all I need, to plant such an idea in his head. I really meant that statement more as a metaphor, for the past, Donnie used to do everything for his brothers, long nights inventing, not actually sacrificing himself in a matter of letting himself die… Shit I really should clarify that statement before he gets the wrong idea…)

Before April could explain what she was talking about, Donnie smiled, hugging April, pleased with her explanation, "Donnie likes April color idea, Donnie would do anything for April, even back then letting the bad men hurt Donnie to save you."

(!)

Shaken, April heart felt heavy, did she hear him right, what he said, was that a metaphor to show how much he cares about her or was what he said held truth?

Looking at him April tried to find the words to ask him, before she could, Leo came by to grab another box, annoyed that his other brothers have bailed.

Quickly Donnie grabbed a box, then headed towards the house.

"Donnie put it in the living room, please don't drop it or hurt yourself," Leo yelled not believing the only one helping him was the ill brother, who is showing more responsibility than the other two.

Picking up a box, Leo gave April a curious look, "Is everything ok April, you look kind of pale."

Gulping April didn't look at Leo as she try to figure out what just happened, what Donnie said, "Leo I have a question and please be truthful… before the day I found Donnie, did he ever mention about me or at least a girl he knew?"

Not sure why she was asking, he figured he should mention it to her, "Well, sort off, he did mentioned you in some manner, but didn't say much though. The only thing he kept bringing up was that he saved you that's it… but some time later after you came to the lair, just after you were mutated I found a file Donnie had, he was researching you, for what reason I don't know. To be frank, it wasn't like he was stalking you it was… I don't know actually…"

April held her sides looking over towards the house; he was researching her for what reason? Did she have something to do with why Donnie was treated so badly? Ideas flashed in her head, making her stomach turn, as guilt started to swallow her, she started to wonder was it even coincidence that she was thrown into his cage. Was she meant to find him, was her escape really of her own doing… What was going on…

Shaking her head, she couldn't let this hinder her, she couldn't start jumping into conclusions, she needed to find out… but how, how far should she dare to ask? Did she really want to know and what if she did find out, she was responsible for Donnie being sick…

Feeling a bit light headed April placed her hand on the car for support as Leo eyes never stop watching her trying to read her.

Noticing Leo's eyes where on her, she had to at least tell him what just happened, "Donnie and I were talking and he said something odd… He told me that he would do anything for me, even back then letting the bad men hurt him to save me…."

"What? … Wait, you don't think he was referring the bad men, to the ones that took him and made him like this do you?" Leo drop the box he was holding, the shock was overwhelming and he lost all feeling in his body.

Shaking her head, she shrugged, "I… I don't know, but the way he said it, Leo, it was sincere like it really happened, he might remember what happened to him… Or it could be in pieces, I don't really know," tears filled her eyes as memories of Donnie in that condition, chained up with confused clouded eyes sitting in his own feces, was that somehow her fault?

(No, I can't let that image come back to me. I can't bear the thoughts of what they did to him… To think he said I was part of the reason he was treated that way…)

Realizing how this looked, Leo picked up his box, "April for now let's drop it. I know it's not easy, but we have too. Let's take this slowly; I don't want Donnie to retreat if we start asking too many questions or ones he doesn't want to think of. Please April promise me you won't start blaming yourself for what happen to him, you have nothing to do with it, do you hear me."

April understood what Leo was getting at, but she still felt awful, but she nodded to Leo, she will get to the bottom of this, but for now she had to let Donnie tell them when he was ready and the time was right as well.

Taking a breath, she closed her eyes, clearing her mind of all the thoughts that try to weigh her down, including that horrifying day, that moment when Donnie was broken shattered in thousands of pieces that seem no way he could ever be put together.

A cheerful chirp came to her right as she could feel a set of arms go around her, she didn't need to open her eyes to recognize Donnie's chirps and she could also smell that aroma he gives off, that lets her know it's him, she even noticed Raph has his own too.

(Funny how I shut my eyes, I recognize such things, as silly as a scent.)

Giving into his hold, she let go of the car, letting him to keep her from falling, she wanted the bad memories to wash away and him being there helped, he smelled clean and healthy, that battled the old images of a sick turtle that cried for help in his eyes.

Upon opening her eyes, Donnie was smiling with his head laying comfortably onto her shoulder; he was enjoying being allowed to be so close to her like this.

"April feel better? Why April sad, Donnie could smell April, you were even scared, why?" Donnie asked not letting her go rubbing his head against her neck giving a couple chirps to help her to calm her nerves.

With a sweet smile she gave him a kiss on the cheek, he did make her feel better with those chirps, "I am fine now. thank you Donnie"

Receiving a kiss from her and then a thanks, perked Donnie up, as he gave a cheerful chirp smiling ear to ear, it almost made April laugh to see him so happy like that over a kiss on the cheek.

"Ok, ok, break it up you two don't we have work to do, jeez your both useless," Raph huffed walking between Donnie and April as they moved away from each other.

"Oh, this is coming from the guy that ran around like a raving five year old… wait where is Mikey?" April looked around not seeing him at all.

Taking a box out of the car Raph wore a devilish smile, "Oh, don't worry about him he is around."

(Around? Ah… What is that suppose to mean…)

April raised an eyebrow, "Do I need to call a search party?"

Passing by carrying his boxes, Raph hummed to himself in satisfaction, "Nope, they wouldn't find him, so it's really pointless even bothering."

Raph made his way to the house as April and Donnie watched him, "Donnie he was joking… I think… why don't we go find Mikey. Let the lazy ass help Leo, well, I can't call him that I haven't done a thing yet either."

With a smile Donnie shook his head, "April supervised."

Starting to walk towards the direction that she saw Raph and Mikey head too, April flashed a smile at him, "Donnie I like the way you think," she chuckled.


	20. Part 20 (Month 6- Week 4 still)

**Shattered Mind - Part 20– (****Month 6 / week 4 still****)**

* * *

Month 6 / week 4 Still

* * *

Passing the barn, heading towards the tree line, April started to wonder how far the brothers went, she hoped Raph didn't do anything to him deep within the bush or it will take hours to find Mikey.

Reaching the tree line she couldn't see anything ahead of her, with a sigh, she looked at Donnie who had become fascinated by a ladybug on a leaf, placing his finger near it, the ladybug went onto his finger as he looked it over.

Before April could say something, a muffled, came from somewhere nearby as April looked about, uncertain where it came from, "Donnie do you hear that?"

With a nod Donnie looked around in wonder what was making that strange sound, then his ladybug took flight, he started to pout sadly for it leaving.

As he watched the lady bug take to the air, he saw him, pointing up the tree; Donnie patted April on the shoulder, "There."

April froze as she gazed up, there, tied upside down with some rope, Mikey dangled in the air, as the rope twisted around a branch above him then to the trunk of the tree.

Mikey's bandana was around his mouth, which would explain the muffling, the only visible way to get him down was to climb the tree and untie the rope that was around the trunk and slowly lower him down.

(… This… huh?!)

"Donnie no!" April stopped Donnie from attempting to climb the tree, a bit uncertain, he looked at her not sure why she stopped him.

"I will do it, I know how to climb trees, I use to all the time when I was a child. Just stay here and stay under him in case the rope gives, you're stronger than me, so you would be better at catching him than me." April explained as Donnie looked wary, but did what she told him.

(Why the hell did Raph do this to Mikey!)

Taking her time and watching her footing, April started to climb the tree, taking note on the fact, the wind was starting to pick up, she didn't know how long the branch that held Mikey in place would hold.

If it did break, Mikey would go face first into the trunk of the tree and could get seriously hurt.

Finally reaching the rope, April untied the knot, being careful, she loosened the rope, but kept some around the trunk for leverage, as she took her time lowering Mikey.

Donnie was still concern about April being in the tree, watched her like a hawk, as he waited for Mikey to get closer to him to grab him.

Safely down, April let go of the rope, while Donnie help Mikey out, "See I told you I would be fine Donnie," April smiled as she stood on the branch that Mikey was tied up to, holding a branch above her as support.

Getting ready to go back down, a crunching sound came under her foot, before April could grab the branch above her again, or even the trunk of the tree, the branch snapped under her weight.

With a scream April fell, suddenly a strong pair of arms grabbed her at the last minute before she hit the ground, breathing heavily, gasping for the air that escaped her, she looked up at Raph, whom had, a not to pleased look on his face.

Putting her down Raph huffed under his breath glaring at April, "What the fuck were you thinking?! You could have gotten yourself hurt!"

He growled at her, surprised by his behaviour April looked at him sideways, trying her best not to lose her own temper, that was bubbling within, how dare he act like this!

"Well, I wouldn't have to climb that tree if you didn't tie Mikey up there! Raph the branch broke under my foot, meaning that it would have done the same when Mikey was tied to it. Do you know he could have gotten hurt!" April tried to say calmly only to fail miserably yelling at the red clad turtle.

She was now frustrated with him, a frustration that has been growing for the past week, at times he would joke around, which was ok, but he has been showing much aggression towards her as well, this was the first time he has done it in front of anyone other than Donnie.

Mikey shifted his feet as he acted like a fly caught in a web, not knowing what to do or say, Donnie even just stared, his face was blank impossible to read, as he watched Raph behaviour carefully.

"He would have been fine…" Raph started only to be interrupted by April pointing her finger at him.

"Like HELL! Raph, of all the irresponsible things to do! How could you tie your little brother up like that! Do you ever think before acting?" April growled as the argument started to heat up.

A squeak came from Mikey to indicate that he was still there, forgetting about him and Donnie, April looked over towards them, noticing the tension around them.

Taking a big breath, she should have known better, than letting her anger towards Raph for what he had done to take over her, like this.

Raph on the other hand wasn't calming down at all but getting more aggressive, "You know what fine, whatever, I fucked up! Sorry PRINCESS!" Raph threw his hands in the air storming off towards the house, kicking an old bucket that was left on the ground, across the yard into the bushes beyond.

Biting her lip, for the life of her, she didn't know what Raph's problem has been lately, still stressed out and pissed, April turned towards the direction of the pond.

Behind her, she could hear Donnie shift trying to follow her, not turning around trying to level her voice not to sound like she was mad at him, she calmly spoke to him "Donnie stay with Mikey, I want to be alone please."

With that, she continued to walk, not hearing or feeling anyone was following her.

(I thought I knew Raph… But lately he… he has been out of my reach. What is eating at him and why is he keeps taking it out on me?)

* * *

The cool water slashed her foot, relaxing April sat on the edge of the dock of the pond, playing with the water.

Her anger and stress now gone, as the beautiful surroundings captivated her, bringing her a sense of serenity, she gave herself to it, surrendering to it.

Breathing deeply she closed her eyes, clearing her mind, that was piecing together possible reasons for Raph's outbursts and demeanour.

Sure, he had a point, she could have gotten hurt, but the same time he ignored the fact Mikey would have too.

Sighing, she really didn't understand him as much she thought she did.

Then suddenly a familiar aroma came from behind her, opening her eyes, she looked over her shoulder to see him, Raph stood at the foot of the bridge, with his head down in shame.

Getting up to her fee,t she didn't say a word, waiting for him to make the move.

"Sorry…" Raph said calmly, not looking at her.

"Raph you know, I understand you being upset for me almost getting hurt… but I don't understand you not caring about Mikey… and lately you… you been angry at me, why?" April didn't beat around the bush, she wanted answers, for this was eating at her and she couldn't take it anymore.

Biting his lip, Raph looked up towards her slowly, contemplating on what he should say, "I do care about Mikey, I didn't consider the branch would even break or I wouldn't have done it…"

"Ok then what's with the yelling match, all about?"

Raph shifted his feet, he seemed nervous, hiding something, "I… No Donnie should have been the one to get Mikey down not you!"

Raph nervousness suddenly faded as anger took him yet again.

April couldn't believe that he said that, "You know very well, he would have hurt himself in the process, why would you…"

Suddenly Raph walked up to her, grabbing her waist, pulling her into him, kissing her on the lips before she could say another word.

Speechless, she froze, not sure what to think, ending his kiss, he stared into her eyes, "I know… I didn't mean he should have done it… I just… The thought of you getting hurt over my stupidity was too much to bear…"

Raph attempted to rub his thumb against her cheek, only to be denied, as April got out of his hold walking away from him.

(He kissed me… He promised not to act like that around me, what if Donnie saw that!)

Only inches away from getting off the deck, Raph grabbed her arm, suddenly April found herself pinned against the deck with Raph on top of her, confused on what just happen or how it happen she stared at him in complete disbelief of his behaviour.

"Raph what are you doing, get off of me!" April narrowed her eyes at him as he made no attempt in doing so.

"No, April I'm sorry to do this, but it's the only way to make you listen to me. The only way I know you can't just walk away from me when I need to talk to you!" Raph growled, yet his eyes were full of hurt and sadness.

Stopping her struggle she looked at him, waiting for what he wanted to say.

Biting his lip, he took a big breath, "It's not fair…"

Uncertain why he said that, she looked at him with wary eyes, "What's not fair?"

Raph placed his hand on either side of her head leaning towards her, closing his eyes, only inches from her beak, "It's not fair that he can flirt with you, he can touch you. And I can't do any of that in fear of what he would think. It's not fair, I have to watch it, see you laugh and smile at him, see him win you over and I can't even take a crack at you. I can't even look at you in the way I want to. He will win you and I don't even have a chance…"

Silence fell between them as April tried to comprehend what Raph just said, was this the reason he has been acting so aggressive? Was he jealous?

"Raph it not true, Donnie hasn't been…"

Raph growled staring at her, "Like shit he hasn't! You don't think I haven't noticed, you think I can't smell the both of you when you two get close?! It's as clear as day! Damn it, April he wasn't the only one that mated with you that night! So what he was the first one to have you! Either way you still came to me after! I know I promised not to get jealous, but I never thought it would hurt so much seeing him act the way he does to you and I can't do anything to prove my feeling for you, to give me a fair chance in winning your heart!"

Once again Raph kissed her, allowing him, April felt guilty, guilty not noticing that he was right, it was unfair, but the fear of what Donnie would do was too overwhelming.

This whole time she was hurting Raph, not realizing it, she should have put more boundaries up with Donnie, to prevent this.

Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the kiss, the way his tongue moved within her mouth rubbing against hers.

She didn't do this in pity for her actions and her guilt, but deep down she wanted this, she has been longing for one of them to do something like this with her.

After that night she couldn't help but wanting either brother showing her such affection, she tried her best to hide those feelings from them, but she guessed she didn't do such a great job, since Donnie did do things he knew he was allowed to do, to answer her needs and Raph only could watch.

Ending his kiss, he stroked her face, giving her a lick on the cheek, in return, she did the same, "I'm sorry Raph… I didn't mean to make you feel like this, to experience that jealousy… I… I don't know what to do anymore… I want you both…"

Smiling Raph chirped at her, "I know…" before Raph could say another word, he flew off of April as Donnie landed on top of him, getting in a punch, before Raph could recover kicking Donnie off of him.

Both brothers rose to their feet, Donnie growled at Raph animalistic in nature, challenging his older brother, in response Raph did the same, taking his sais out, only to throw them on the bank, he was going to make this a fair fight, considering Donnie was unarmed.

This wasn't happening! Frantic April stumbled to her feet as the brothers started to fight over her, she had to stop this.

How much did Donnie see and hear, how long was he there when Raph was admitting his feelings, did Donnie hear the part about that night, about her and Raph?

The brothers started to kick and punch, surprisingly Donnie was keeping up with Raph, who seemed not be holding back, as both growled at each other, blocking, each other attacks.

Donnie managed to get a hard blow at Raph's head, making him bleed, as Raph got some shots in too, Donnie's right arm seemed to slow down, as April notice it looked like it might be broken.

They were going to kill each other or collapse in the process.

"STOP THIS!" April screamed, trying her hardest to get through to the brothers who eyes were now clouded, she wasn't sure if they were even there anymore, she knew Donnie was still having moments where his instincts would take over reason…

But Raph, she didn't recognized him, the same way she feels when she sees Donnie lose his human side of him, sure they were turtles mutated, but they did have a scrape of human DNA that made them more humanoid than some monstrous turtles.

Not being able in taking it anymore, she risked it, they were fighting over her, she had to stop them no matter what.

Jumping in between both brothers, they froze in their attack inches away from hitting her, they looked at her breathing heavily as their eyes started to slowly unclouded, as reasoning started to come back to them.

She stood there with her hand out, as tears filled her eyes, "What he hell you two thinking! Your brothers and you hurt each other for what? ME?! It's not worth it, I'm not…"

Suddenly, April felt light headed as a pain originated around her stomach area, unsure what she was feeling, she knew they didn't hit her, yet, she felt her body start to overheat, gasping for air, April couldn't hold herself up anymore as she collapsed to the ground.

Instantly the brothers came to her aid, forgetting about their aggression between each other.

The last thing April remembered was both asking her what was wrong, feeling their hands holding her as everything was engulfed in darkness.


	21. Part 21 (Month 6 - Week 4 final)

**Shattered Mind - Part 21– (****Month 6 / Week 4 still 6 hours later****)**

* * *

Month 6 / Week 4 Still 6 hours later

* * *

April's body ache as she slowly rose, sitting upright, a light breathing came to her side.

Looking over to see who it was, her eyes came upon the orange clad turtle, which slept peacefully beside her.

(… What happened?)

Looking around the room, she noticed it was one of the bedrooms in the farm house.

Beside the bed, she was on, there was a night stand with a clock on it, she glared at the clock that read 8:00 p.m., she has been out for six hours?

Not to disturb Mikey, April got to her feet creeping towards the door, she wanted to find out what occurred at the pond, did Raph and Donnie really started to fight? What happen to her? Did one of them hit her accidentally in the chaos or did she just actually pass out, if so why?

Hand on the door handle, about to turn it; she was stopped by a gentle hand grabbing her shoulder, to get her attention.

Mikey looked at her sleepily, rubbing his eyes, "Leo wants you to stay here for the remainder of the night."

Staring at Mikey, she turned around; she wasn't too pleased in hearing this, "Why?"

With a big yawn, Mikey walked to the bed slumping into it stretching to get rid of the sleep that nagged at him to go back to bed, "He is punishing Donnie and Raph for their behaviour…"

(Punishing them?)

Studding her face, Mikey closed his eyes tight to try to see if that would stop his annoying yawning, "He is training them, making them work together, to see if they would stop their fighting…"

"Is it working?" April sat down on the bed beside Mikey lowering her head, in shame.

She was the reason they were acting this way, what will make them stop, can Leo force the two brothers to ignore their instincts that have driven them to fight over her?

Letting herself flop, she laid her shell into the warm blankets under her, as Mikey just sat there, tilting his head reading her with a curious look.

"I will take it, Leo is treating Donnie the same manner as Raph?" April finally said after a long moment of silence.

"Yeah… Leo wanted you to know he is only doing this for he believes Donnie needs to understand the consequences and for him being sick doesn't give him the excuse to get special treatment, on certain subjects. Even now Donnie should know better then to start a fight with Raph and Raph should have known better then to continue it," Mikey explained, joining April, laying down crossing his legs, poking April in the shell for fun.

April looked at him in the corner of her eye, shaking her head with a smile; he was trying to make sure the mood doesn't get too serious.

"…Ok… I don't 100% agree with his method, but if he believes it will work, then I just have to stay on the sidelines," feeling wary of the situation, she really didn't have any say on this round, for how Raph was acting, if she dared to coddle Donnie, it will only make things worse.

In truth Donnie was in the stage coddling would hinder him, especially now of all times.

With a sigh April got up, "I have to go to the bathroom, or is that breaking the leader's rules," April smiled at Mikey devilishly.

Mikey chuckled, smiling back at her, "Leo orders wasn't to keep you in the room per say, he just doesn't want you to go to the first floor. He wants to avoid them smelling your scent, figuring it will start them up again."

Understanding, April nodded, heading out of the room, down the hallway towards the bathroom, once in, she leaned against the door, taking in a big breath, closing her eyes.

How she fainted earlier was starting to bother her, Mikey didn't mention it or said a word.

Gathering her thoughts, she looked at the tub, the images of cool water touching her skin, brought shivers to her body, in a pleasant way.

She must be really stressed for the mere thought of water touching her, made her feel that way.

Running the water, she found the temperature that she desired, plugging the tub up, she waited until it filled up, before letting her body surrender to it.

Turning the water off, she played in it with her hands feeling how it flowed between her fingers; admiring it, she knelt down beside the tub staring at it, memorized by it.

With a sigh April got to her feet heading towards the window looking out, the training she figured must be going on outside, probably the front of the house.

Leo no doubt factor in the bathroom and made sure they weren't anywhere near its window.

The sun was almost down, in a couple hours she figured, opening the window to smell the fresh breeze as she closed her eyes, feeling the wind, smelling the flower's aroma that dance on the wind, and the water… trees… grass… soil?

Sure, she knew her sense of smell was heighten than a human's, but all these smells felt like she was right in the middle of it all, sighing again, April opened her eyes to take her bath.

(Huh?)

April froze as she realized she wasn't in the bathroom, she was really at the pond?

Confused, she looked back towards the farmhouse, seeing nothing that would explain this.

Biting her lip, April felt scared as she noticed it was fully dark now, wasn't the sun just setting?

She only had her eyes closed for a second, there was no way the sun went down that fast, and how did she get here? Did she some how black out?

As she bit her lip, a taste of soil invaded her mouth, wiping her face; she noticed it wasn't the source of the dirt, her hands were covered with rich dark earth, her eyes trailed down her body in disbelief…

She was covered head to toe in dirt, shaking April didn't know what was going on, was she dreaming?

Did she pass out again and this is some mess up delusion?

Hyperventilating, she tried her best to calm herself, her confusion was getting the best of her and she didn't know what to do.

Somewhere in the background, she could hear the boys calling her, asking her where she was, trying to answer them, she couldn't as a rush of pain taken over her body, making her double over.

A scream escaped, what was going on, what was this pain?

"SHE IS HERE!" Leo voiced echoed in the distance as she could hear footsteps getting closer to her.

"Why is she full of dirt?" Mikey asked, not sure if he should go near her, looking at Leo for answers.

April tried to answer them, tell them she had no clue what was going on, just only to be stopped again by another rush of pain, that force poor April to collapse to the ground.

Luckily, before hitting, she felt two sets of hands grab her, crying, April's fear had her by the throat.

(I black out didn't I… that's how I got here, but how… second thought why? What is this pain? Why does my body hurt so much?)

"April what's wrong?" Raph asked her gently holding her arm, while Donnie stroked her head, trying to soothe her, also being as gentle as he could holding her other side.

Shaking her head, she wasn't sure, she couldn't speak for every time she did, more pain hit her, she was crying, shaking, in the turtle brothers' arms, as both Raph and Donnie exchange looks of concern.

"Leo… I think you might want to see this…," Mikey said in a whisper, his voice was surprised with a hint of excitement buried deep within it.

Knowing Raph and Donnie was tending to April, Leo hurried behind April, there on the ground was a hole, that seemed to be freshly dug up, connecting two and two together, Leo turned white.

"Ah shit…," Leo could only say looking at April, trying to figure out what to do, this was something that was out of his norm of situations to handle.

"What's going on," Raph asked, getting up giving Donnie a look that he should stay put and watch April, Donnie didn't say a word, wrapping his arms around April to give her comfort in her continuous pain.

"April breathe…," Donnie told her rubbing her arms, still confuse and feeling like she was the only one not understanding, April wanted to scream at them, force them to tell her what the hell was going on.

Behind her, she could hear Raph voice shaking, "You're not saying that… she… what, it's only has been 4 weeks… but… oh man… why a hole?"

Suddenly Raph's head hurt as he got smacked by Mikey, "Because she is a turtle and turtles make holes in the dirt to… you know… Jeez, get with the program Raph, and get a hold of yourself."

Star struck Raph looked at Mikey, did they just reverse rolls just then?

By now the pain so bad April couldn't take it anymore, she attempted to get up only to be stopped by Donnie, she still tried regardless of his protest, she wanted to go to the area the other brothers were, why she wasn't sure, but she wanted too.

Biting his lip Donnie flashed his head towards Raph, "Help me!" Donnie growled, not in threat, but in worry, and it was the only way he could calm his own fears.

Raph, not saying a word did so, without argument, taking April one side as Donnie did the other.

"Are they going to bring her to the hole, then what… Is this going be like animal planet?" Mikey had to ask, he understood the process, was it the same for a mutant?

Sure, she dug the hole, what would happen next… was this going to be like a human giving birth to a baby or was she going to lay eggs?

Leo only shook his head, wishing Donnie was better he would know what to do, as he felt like a deer in the headlights, unsure what to do or say, staring at the situation in a glossy gaze.

Slowly bringing April to the hole, that did seem like she was the one that dug it and deep down she known she did, for some crazy reason, yet couldn't remember doing it.

She wondered if her own instincts took her over… then it hit her, why else would she dig a hole!

(Oh no no no… Am I giving birth! Wait, it has only been four weeks! This doesn't make sense; please say this is a dream… But I did have sex with both Raph and Donnie and unprotected sex at that… What was I thinking at the time!… Oh yeah right… their body, their smell… Crap I can't think that right now!)

The soil against her skin cool and moist, felt nice as she laid down on her plastron, with her legs on either side of her, the brothers tried to make her lay on her shell, but she refused, it felt wrong, it made her feel nervous.

Not arguing, they did what she wanted, knowing if her instincts did this much, they were the only thing that was helping her at the moment to figure out what she needed to do.

Funny Donnie seemed more keen on what to do and how to treat her then the other brothers, it was obvious his own instincts where guiding him to aid her, maybe some his past as well, unsure the other brothers only waited, doing what they were instructed.

Surprisingly Raph and Donnie were in better terms, not arguing or disliking the other being on April's side.

Neither knew who was the father of the child she was laying, for the sake of argument, they acted like both were, at least this way it didn't start anything, and they knew such stress would hinder April, wondering if it was their fight that triggered her pregnancy in the first place.

The pain reaching to the max, she couldn't bear it anymore, she screamed out, as both brothers took a hand and endured the force she put on them, as she started to push her egg out.

"It's coming!" Mikey hype up with a grin.

Leo finally regaining from his shocked blank minded state on the situation, snapped out of it as he saw the egg.

"Mikey hurry to the house, grab some blankets! Bring a laundry basket as well," Leo ordered Mikey who gave him a disappointing look.

"Why me… this is better than animal planet, to see a mutant turtle lay her egg…" Mikey stopped his explanation, as a sudden growl came from April for him not to even dare to go there.

Not to angry the new mother, Mikey did what Leo asked, running towards the house as fast as he could.

Leo sat on the ground, looking at the egg that was in the hole, he wanted to pick it up, but feared of how fragile it might be, then he noticed April started to scream again.

All three brothers looked at her, wasn't she done? How many eggs were there?

April too wondered, while she could feel another escaping her, tears ran down her face, as her body felt exhausted and the pain finally slowly went away.

"Are you done?" Leo asked calmly, noticing April started to loosen up her grip on both of his brothers' hands.

She nodded, but didn't say a word, all she wanted was to have someone to hold her, she looked at both Raph and Donnie, not caring which one did it.

Raph bit his lip, looking at Donnie, "Do you want to take April or help tend to the eggs?"

Gently Donnie gave Raph April's hand, indicating he will help Leo in taking care of the eggs.

Pressing her against him, Raph slowly made April turn around so she had her shell against his chest, wrapping his arm around her, he held her, feeling the heat that came off of her.

Giving her a kiss on the shoulder Raph whispered into her ear, "You did great April, I'm sorry for earlier, please forgive me…"

Barely having enough energy to answer him she nodded, "I do and Donnie too…"

(… I just gave birth… Now what…)

Closing her eyes, April leaned her head against Raph's arms, breathing heavily, Raph taking his bandana off, wiped April's face, to Raph surprise a blue bandana soaked in water was handed to him.

Looking up at Leo, Raph couldn't believe it, Leo never would take his bandana off, not like this, "I don't think sensei would take any offense to using it for her, to help her," Leo smiled giving his brother his bandana to wipe April's face.

Smiling back, Raph nodded, "No, he wouldn't, he would be proud of us regardless…"

Wiping April with the cool wet bandana, she sighed in relief, pressing into Raph more.

Donnie placed his hand on the eggs waiting for Mikey to return, as the orange clad turtle came into sight, he was caring blankets in a laundry basket.

Placing it down, Mikey looked for instructions; he wasn't sure what to do next.

Donnie on the other hand did, as he took the blankets out placing one on the bottom, then gently, he picked up one of the eggs, while Mikey watched, wondering if it was wise that Donnie was doing this.

Leo didn't argue letting his brother take the lead, as Donnie had both eggs in the basket, placing the other blanket on top.

"Leo we need an incubator," Mikey pointed out, as all three brothers looked at him surprised.

With a smile, Mikey shrugged, "What? Animal planet people, jeez…"

"Donnie, can you remember if you have one in your lab?" Leo asked, not sure how much of his lab Donnie remembered.

Donnie only shrugged, he wasn't allowed in there, so he wasn't sure, or could he remember if he had one.

"I think he does… I think it was one," Raph pointed out, trying his best to remember if Donnie did or not.

Contemplating on the situation, Mikey was right, they needed to place the eggs in the right environment so they hatch correctly, Leo sighed, "Ok then, it safe to say, it's best to go home now, let's leave things here, we can pick them up later."

Agreeing, all three brothers nodded, April still tired, stayed quiet, she knew her eggs were in good hands, not worrying about them.

"Donnie, I will carry the eggs, why don't you carry April, can you handle her?" Raph asked Donnie, who nodded, going over towards April, picking her up in his arms, cradling her, giving her a kiss on the head.

"Well, that is settled, lets head home," Leo took the lead.

April pressed her head into Donnie's plastron falling asleep in his warm arms, she was know a mother, as well Donnie and Raph were on good terms.

To think this all started because, she one day met a turtle, that needed help and she was thrown into this life where she met his brothers.

She helped that turtle get better, going onto a whack out rollercoaster ride, that was in many moments terrifying and thrilling on others.

She fell in love not only with the turtle she helped, but also his brother.

She still wasn't sure which one she truly wanted, but in the end, did it matter?

Right now everything has changed, was it for the better or worse, only time will tell.

For now she could only do one thing, close her eyes and hope her new children hatch out of their eggs healthy and well. As well, nothing more hinders her family and things finally stays on a steady path.

To be continued in Shattered Mirrors…

_**(Author's note: **__Shattered Mirrors will be taking place some time after this chapter, and will be focusing on not just April POV, but Raph and Donnie's. It will be focusing on the past, Donnie's and April's, the relationship between the three and the new children that no one knows who the father is… Donnie will be in the similar mindset he is now, but will be a bit better, as in the next part he will be telling his side of the story, as his memory starts to come back… and his and April's dark past no one is aware off starts to come to the light…)_


	22. SM Part 1 - (The Girl)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch1. (The Girl)**

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**Note: Shatter Mirrors takes place two years later after April gave birth to two eggs, Donnie is starting to have odd dreams, as he continues to struggle with his illness. To top it off, events start to unfold, that the dankness can't kept secret anymore, as Donnie and Aprils past starts to come to the light, is it a good thing or a sign that worse things are still to come, shattering the mirrors of their minds they hold so dearly to protect. (TMNT CC are AU based on 2003 versions, April is 25 as the turtles are 22) Pov will switch between Donnie, April and Raph.**

**I combining Shatter Mirror to this file and will stop placing chapter updates on "Shatter Mirrors file" 5/26/15**

* * *

************(Donnie POV)*************

A chill surrounded him within the darkness; he crept forward, knowing all too well what it meant, what he would experience once again.

Taking a breath, he shivered, he didn't want to continue the path he took, he didn't want to witness it, he didn't want this to keep happening.

He could feel the cold cement ground of the sewers underneath his feet, he could smell the grimy water that flowed by, among aromas he have learned to ignore.

Touching the wall, feeling the hard surface with his fingertips, it felt uninviting, shaking his head he removed his hand feeling awkward and lonely, wishing someone else was with him, to witness this to tell him this was just a dream, but was it really?

Looking forward to the speck of light that was in the distance, which was beckoning him to come towards it, calling to him to touch it, to feel it, to enter within it, only so he can watch the play that was waiting for him, before performing once again.

Deep down, he wondered, could he wait it out where he was? Would it go away if he did?

Behind him the darkness grew blacker, if that was even possible, denser and thick like it tried to choke the air out of him, his very life force.

Baring it no more, he went forward, he fell for the trap yet again, walking towards the light to watch it unfold like every night…

There he was in the middle of the sewers far from home, to far he remembered, or was it a memory? He should never have been there, he should have never wandered off, he should have listened to his father…

Donnie stood there, with sad eyes, watching her, the red hair girl, the one that cries, the one that is always running, the girl he wanted to help…

_(Her… always her…)_

Huddling in the corner, with her back facing towards him, she sobbed loudly, shivering uncontrollably, not by the cold, or the darkness that surrounded her, she shivers for she is alone, waiting for him…

So much he wanted to help her, so much Donnie wanted to go to her, yet he couldn't interact only observe the event as it unfolded in front of his eyes.

No matter how much he wanted to see her smile…

The young redhead child only around 9, didn't move a muscle, staying where she was crying her heart out, she was wearing a white shirt and pants, filthy from her falling and scrambling through the sewers, she was running from them, she was always running…

Watching in vain, the urge within him build up, he wanted to tell her it will be ok, she was not alone…

Yet he could not, biting his lower lip, he could feel the tears falling from his eyes trailing down his cheek, he didn't want to watch anymore, he didn't want his heart broken by her sorrows, for this wasn't the worse part that was to come.

Sighing, closing his eyes, he knew he just had to wait, sitting on the ground, he did so, not pleased with this, wishing he would wake up from this nightmare.

Suddenly, out of the shadows, a young turtle emerged curious and cautious, as he approached the crying girl, his purple bandana was unmistakable, it was him, a younger version, that was around six.

* * *

*********(Younger Donnie POV)*******

As the younger turtle approached her, he felt sorry for this poor girl he has never seen before, wondering why she would even be there, where did she come from?

Every step he took, fear swelled within, considering she was human, and humans can't be trusted… he has been warned many times, humans can be dangerous and would harm him if they ever caught sight of him…

Yet, how could something that could harm him, be so sad, so vulnerable, a kid just like him?

She didn't seem she would hurt him; she wasn't as scary as his father made humans out to be.

Taking his chance, mustering his courage, which wasn't much for he wasn't Leo or close to Raph, he wanted to see if she was ok, wouldn't it be wrong of him to ignore her?

Reaching out gently touching her shoulder, to his dismay, only to have her scream, shuddering more, pressing her body against the wall, making herself smaller, he retreated his hand quickly jumping to her shrieks as it ran shivers down his spine.

Donatello, held his hand, looking at her, did she think, he was a monster that would hurt her? If so she never looked at him, so how could she know if he was or not?

Taking a breath, he desperately tried to steady his voice, not showing his own fear, "Are you ok?"

The girl only answered him with silence, whimpering to herself, licking his lips, he attempted again, "My… my n..name is Donatello… what's yours?"

Still, she sobbed, not looking at him, not showing any acknowledgment he was even there, making him wonder if he should even stay longer, there might be more humans around, her mom or dad could be looking for her.

Either way, he needed to get home, maybe he should tell his father, though he would get into trouble for wandering around the sewers on his own, he had to talk to him, he might know how to help her.

Turning away, Donatello started to take his leave, only to be stopped by a cold hand grabbing his.

Frozen in place, he shivered, noticing how cold it felt, like a corpse, well, that's what he was told a dead person felt like.

Heart pounding in terror, he didn't want to turn around, what if she was the monster?

He has never seen her face only her backside, she might be a zombie or a vampire that Mikey is always going on about, not that he believed such things were real… well he hope they weren't.

Gulping, he dared, slowly he turned around, finding she was no such thing, she was no monster, her green eyes made contact with his, they were full of terror and uncertainty, not towards him, but something else.

They begged him for help, begged him not to judge her, he shook on the hidden message behind them, fearing to find out more, but more than anything, he was terrified of what he might have done… allowing a human to see him.

"Please don't leave me alone…," the young girl whimpered in a low, needy distant voice, holding onto his hand tightly, begging him to stay, her eyes tamed him, making him to surrender to them, making him to leave his fears behind.

Nodding, he came to her, sitting beside her, as she continued to hold his hand shaking like a leaf, crying into his shoulders, all the while he stroked her hair to comfort her.

* * *

*************(Donnie POV)**************

Sighing watching the younger version of himself consoling the girl, talking to her, Donnie couldn't take it, as he rose to his feet, walking away, he knew what was to happen next, he knew he would really never know who she really was, only that they were after her.

Wandering down the sewers, he could still hear her sobs, followed by screams, from both her and his younger self.

They arrived, the man and the…. alligator that was as big as a house, compare to him, back then and even the height he was now.

The alligator that was a mutant just like him, one he never met until that day, a mutant that broke his younger version's arm.

The alligator that he feared more than anything, that threatened him to never to tell anyone what he saw, or even daring to mention her, as well if he ever dared to go near her again, the alligator made a promise to him, that he will not resist in killing him next time around.

"August…," Donnie whispered as the dream started to fade away.

August, the name the girl claimed to go by… yet the man and Alligator kept calling her April instead…

* * *

Jerking his eyes wide open, Donnie laid there in his cold, empty bed, only wishing it had a warm body, her body to comfort him from the dream that never goes away.

Whimpering within the darkness of his room, no one responded to his pleas.

Slowly he rose getting out of his bed, as he took his time to reach his door, all to just stand there staring at it, with his hand hovered over the handle shaking.

_(I can do it… maybe I shouldn't?...)_

His anxiety was getting to him again, closing his eyes, he counted to ten backwards, as he hit one he turned the knob revealing an eerie silent lair, no surprise though since it was late in the night and everyone has gone to bed.

Sluggishly and as quiet as he could, he made his way to the stairs, heading down them towards the kitchen.

Throat dry and harsh, crying for water, he needed a drink, as the dream played in his head, taunting him like it always does.

Stopping before the kitchen, he stared at it, wondering if he should ask first, shaking his head, he knew he was allowed, yet he hated this uncertainty within him, why does he keep questioning himself?

He knew why, though he could function, he was still sick, he acknowledge that, and it was hard for him at times, even the simple things like this…

_(I can do this… I don't need help, I will prove them I can…)_

Taking a breath he preceded into the kitchen turning on the light, though he could see in the dark well, it brought him comfort, leaning against the wall, he stared at the cupboards, which one had the cups again?

Biting his lip, he forgot yet again, wondering if he should go through them all to find what he seeks…

Sighing, he wanted to, but he couldn't, shuffling his feet, he became frustrated, then suddenly a gentle hand touched his shoulder, scaring him to death as he jumped for dear life.

"Donnie, calm down, it's me Leo… Sorry I didn't mean to startle you like that. I heard some noises and came to investigate who was up so late at night," Leo tried to calm Donnie's frantic nerves with his kind eyes, rubbing his shoulder.

Breathing through his nose, he calmed down, gulping hard, forgetting his previous problem and frustrations, "Leo… I didn't hear you…"

"I really need to learn to be more noisier next time, I still scare April too," Leo chuckled lightly giving Donnie a sweet smile that made Donnie feel better.

"Yeah… Umm Leo…," Donnie looked away from Leo, ashamed at the thought to ask Leo for help, but before he could even attempt, Leo went to the middle cupboard grabbing two glasses, placing them on the counter, then entering the fridge pulling out a carton of milk pouring some in both glasses.

"Here Donnie, I know it's not warm, but it might help you sleep," Leo suggested drinking his glass with a slight moan.

Fiddling with his glass, Donnie wanted water, but milk would do too, as he too took a drink, then passed his empty glass to Leo, who put it in the sink, rinsing it.

_(Leo… thank you for not making me feel incompetent… I'm lucky to have a big brother like you…)_

"Thanks Leo… I should get back to sleep…," Donnie started to leave only to be stopped by Leo's hand.

"Donnie, are you ok… Are you still having nightmares?" Leo warmly smiled yet his eyes wear wearisome, even Donnie could see pass his cool gray eyes, that could hide emotions from others.

Shaking his head, assuring his big brother, he was fine, Donnie wore the best smile he could muster, hoping Leo didn't read pass it.

He couldn't tell him of his dreams, especially the one of the red hair girl with two names, he feared his brother would worry of him, assuming Donnie was not getting well after all, falling deeper than before.

He did not even dare to tell April, though he did promise to tell her everything that was going on with him, but that dream, he couldn't get himself to do so.

For in truth, he started to question it, was it really a dream or was it suppressed memories trying to come to the surface?

Then a greater fear hindered him, consuming him, throwing him in a spiral of dread and silence, could it be some form of proof he was falling more than before, after two years of being as stable as he was, was he losing his mind completely, did his last mirror finally shatter or going to?

Sure, he wasn't fully recovered after this long and he had issues, but he was better than before, he knew that much, then yet again was he really?

So much he wanted to be his old self, so much he wanted to do the things he should be able to, hell he couldn't even figure out how to test DNA on the two baby turtles that were now two years old, Willow and Luke.

No one knew if they were his or Raph's, no matter how much he tried to remember how he use to do things, he couldn't… most of his memories were locked away what April told him, though he did start to wonder if there were gone for good, never to return again.

(Please Leo don't ask me any more questions and let me go to bed… I don't want to lie anymore… It hurts too much to do that to you of all people…)

Watching Leo, Donnie waited, with a sigh, he nodded, "Ok Donnie. Just don't forget we can talk any time you want if you need an ear to listen, night little brother."

With that Donnie left for his room, not looking back, as he reached the top he looked down towards the other two doors.

At the far end was Mikey's room, which at the moment the children were with him, not knowing who the father was, the brothers took turns watching the kids, they seemed to taken a liking towards Mikey more than anyone else, other than their mother of course.

Then slowly, moving his eyes to the door before it, his heart became heavy with sadness; April was in there cuddling with Raph…

Sighing, he went to his door, he really wished she would have stayed with him that night, but he and Raph came to an agreement, for the sake of the kids and all fairness to April, they didn't fight over her, yet in some odd way shared her.

Each was allowed to show her their affections towards her, as the other by agreement, will not get or show he is jealous, in return, she showed them each her affections towards them individually; she was as fair she could be, some nights she will stay with him as for others she would stay with Raph.

As odd it may be, neither brother felt neglected this way or did either one ever got jealous of the other brother, sure times Donnie felt sad not having her, but he knew Raph felt the same when Donnie was with her, so it was balanced either way.

The reason for this, was that April couldn't decide which one she wanted to be with, or thought it was fair for her to make such a decision, considering she did promise she would make her decision, when Donnie was in full health.

Deep down, Donnie wondered if that would ever happen, would he ever become the turtle he used to be?

The past two years he approved a bit, but not much at the same time, like he was at a stalemate on the subject, in the depth of his soul, he felt like something was holding him back, yet in the end he couldn't figure it out what it could be.

Sighing again, he entered his dark room, making his way to his bed, lying down, closing his eyes, hoping the dream did not come back; wishing day would come sooner so he didn't feel so lonely.


	23. SM Part 2 - (Just Another Day)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch2. (Just Another Day)**

* * *

**Raph POV**

As his eyes opened, Raph shifted as her aroma filled his nostrils, with a devilish smile curved onto his lips, he slyly leaned his beak towards the crook of her neck, giving her a small lick, watching her like a hawk stalking it's prey.

She moaned towards his actions, mumbling under her breath still sleeping soundly, slowly moving his hand down towards her tail, lightly he squeezed it, well that's what he thought he did.

Suddenly April squealed in shock, literally jumping in response, then crashing to the hard cement floor, as she fell off the bed before he could even grab her in time, staring at the edge of the bed, Raph's face went white, that wasn't what he was aiming for…

Now the question was, should he go check on her and suffer her wrath that he truly feared at the moment, or act innocent and pretend to be sleeping.

Taking the easy road, he shut his eyes quickly, she wouldn't notice he was really awake, only thinking he was sleep touching, thinking on that notion, it did sound pretty pathetic even in his head.

A horrifying growl came towards him, unable to help it, he couldn't stop himself from shuddering by it.

(Shit, did she notice… Not that I did it on purpose… Wait, I'm the tough one here, why am I acting like some pussy?)

Opening his eyes meeting the malice filled green eyes that glared at him furiously, he shuddered yet again.

(Damn… she is scary… no way anyone is brave enough… or stupid, to act all tough towards the likes of her, when she is this pissed off…)

Thinking as quickly as he could, Raph wondered if he could figure a solution to this, he could kiss her, which normally smooth things over, or…

Taking the first option before considering if there were others, Raph planted his lips against hers, with a sigh she looked at him.

"Nice try, why did you pinch my tail?" April pulled away crossing her arms, not very amused with him.

Chuckling still feeling the full effect of the woman stare, he rubbed his head, "Well, I was trying to massage it… I must have put more force then I attended to…"

April looked at him over, then shook her head, "I believe you, but Raph, please be gentle next time, that really did hurt."

Placing his arm around her brushing his cheek against hers, letting out a small chirp as his apology, she blushed kissing him on the cheek.

Normally he wouldn't do such things as chirping, but he has seen Donnie do it and it really did butter her up, though there was no way in hell he was going to do it in front of his family, he would prefer the woman look, over that humiliation.

Well, not like his family could say a word, for each one of them have been a bit more open towards their turtle side showing it more, but only in the lair though, outside they were ninja's with a reputation to uphold.

Pulling her in, Raph licked her neck as she moaned and gasp, trying to pry him off her, not for she didn't like it, but it was time to get up, nether of them had the luxury to sleep in per say.

Knowing the daily schedule all to well, that was a pain to him, Raph sighed, giving a love bite before getting out of bed as his way in teasing her, only to receive a slap on the rump in response, which did make his tail tingle with delight.

Looking over his shoulders, he smiled, almost debating if he should say hell with it and jump her, pinning her to the bed, she might complain at first, but in truth she would like it all the same.

(Damn, she is gorgeous … But I made a promise, I wonder if I should grab her in the shower later? Mmm she does smell so damn delicious when her body is all wet and silky. Not to mention how hot she looks, when the water drips off that perfect figure… huh where did she go?)

Realizing April walk out of the room while he was in his fantasy world, Raph crossed his arms quite disappointed; he should have jumped her when he had the chance.

* * *

**April POV**

Smiling to herself, April wondered how long it would take Raph to notice that she slipped out of the room?

Sure, she could tell the red clad turtle was getting pretty aroused, which was a turn on, yet she couldn't let him hold her hostage for the remainder of the day, though the thought was really amusing to the point she did consider at one moment to let him do it.

Shaking her head, she had things to do, for starters was to see how Uncle Leo was doing, April smirked more when she reached the bottom of the stairs hearing Leo voice coming from the kitchen area of the lair.

"No Luke, that's not where your baby food goes! Willow stop patting your bowl, you're going to knock it over. AH jeez Luke," Leo yelped as the thud came afterwards, followed by a wailing laughter from Mikey.

(Well, Leo is doing well as usual; I swear those two kids love torturing him…)

Leo growled under his breath, "Mikey, you're not helping…"

It was apparent that Leo was stressed already, he does love the children to bits, but they had the habit making Leo frantic to the point they could even make him cry, though April never would want to see that, it would be just to hard for her not to laugh at him.

Reaching the dining room, there standing, holding Luke, was Leo covered head to toe in baby food; April wasn't sure who was feeding who at the moment.

As for Mikey, he was sitting at the table, pounding his fist into it, laughing so hard that any given moment the young turtle was going to fall off his chair, all the while Willow clapped her hands, happy as could be.

Sighing to himself, Leo finally looked over towards April as a look of relief came over him, "Oh good your mommy is up," Leo tried to pass off Luke to April instantly.

With a smile April gladly took Luke, cuddling him in her arms, just to have Willow pout, then cry, for she too wanted her mother to hold her.

"Well have fun," Leo took this as his cue to run while he still could, he had his share of the kids for the morning and now he had to go wash up.

Watching Leo leaving in a rush, both Mikey and April held back their laughs, noticing Leo's shell was painted with food hand prints, how did that happen, who knows.

Shaking her head with a smile, April took a dish towel wiping Luke's face, "Now let's see if we get some food in your tummy little one. Mikey can you help?"

Getting out of his chair, Mikey went to Willow taking her out of her high chair, whisking her into the air, "Willow do you want Uncle Mikey to feed you?"

Willow squealed clenching her hands indicating she wanted Mikey to hug her, smiling Mikey love taking care of the kids, holding Willow, he made bubbling noises near her neck making her squeal louder in pure glee.

* * *

**Donnie POV**

Mouth dry, the nightmare once again came to him before daybreak, Donnie laid there staring at the ceiling, wondering if he should even bother getting up, he felt depressed, scared, this was starting to hinder his already poor state mind.

Sighing, he rolled over holding his pillow between his legs, clenching it tightly, then suddenly something hit him in the shell, startling him.

"Get up Donnie," Raph voice came from the side of the bed, slowly Donnie turned around to meet face to face with his older brother that had his arms crossed with a frustrated look on his face.

It was obvious even to Donnie, Raph probably preferred to be doing other things, or be with April than to deal with him, a part of him wanted to tell Raph to leave and not bother.

Sighing Raph slumped down onto Donnie's bed shaking his head.

(Was I showing my expressions again? I am not really good at hiding this…)

"Ok, I understand we both don't like doing this… But we promise April and you still need some supervision… I know this blows, but Donnie trust me when I say this, I think you are healthy enough to do things on your own… but we both know what happen the last grace period we gave you…" Raph trailed off, he really didn't wanted to put the salt in the open wound, but last time they let Donnie to do what he wish without a schedule, he had some kind of a breakdown in which he almost got himself killed.

(Yeah… It's pathetic that I still need so much help still…)

"Raph… Sorry," Donnie sat up leaning his shell against the wall holding his legs.

Biting his lip, Raph jump off the bed, "Well don't be, come on I need your help either way."

Tilting his head Donnie wonder what he meant by that, help with what?

Heading towards the door, Raph looked over his shoulder with a devilish smile, "Well, come on, we need to replace them now or Leo will have both our shells!"

"Fix what?" Donnie tilted his head trying to read Raph.

Shrugging sighing under his breath, Raph rubbed his head, "The camera's you set up years ago in the sewers that we use to keep an eye around the outside of the lair for our safety. Some damn reason, last night a bunch of the outer hunk of junks, just stop working all together, not sure why, so it's our job to replace them."

"We? Are you sure… I'm… I'm not…," Donnie started feeling doubtful of his capability to help Raph.

Raph roared smiling more, "You're worried about you being able to do this, you do remember I know jack shit about this kind of stuff right?"

Raising an eyebrow Donnie didn't understand why would they be doing it then, "Ok… why us?"

"Simple no one else wanted to do it, besides how I see it… If I make you do all the work and if something does go wrong and you get shocked or worse, at least it's not me in the end."

(That's why he wants me to go with him to be… to be his dummy?)

"Thanks Raph… Love you too," Donnie sighed, getting out of bed, could this day get any worse?


	24. SM Part 3 - (What Lurks in the Darkness)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch3. (What Lurks in the Darkness)**

* * *

**Donnie POV**

Slowly taking his time, walking down the stairs, Donnie viewed over the railing towards the direction of the distinct sounds of giggling and her voice.

April stood there at the table while she was feeding Luke, as Mikey had the task of taking care of Willow, smiling Donnie figured he was best not to go bother her, for the dream, his nightmare was still fresh and new in his mind.

Knowing his mate all too well, he feared she would smell his tension, for she had the impeccable ability to sense when his distraught, and at times was very capable of reading between the lines with him.

_(Maybe I should go find Raph…)_

Yet to his dismay someone else had other plans for him.

Not a second his foot reached the bottom step, Donnie felt a nudge on his shoulder that actually made his skin burn with pain, yet it wasn't to forceful to make him lose his balance.

Letting out a big disappointing sigh, Donnie could only think of one person that would do that to him, as he slowly looked towards his brother Raph, shaking his head, for no words was worth saying at that moment.

"Go already, say good morning to her, while I get the stuff… Jeez Donnie, she is going to get the impression you're avoiding her if you keep this shit up," Raph proclaimed determined to get Donnie to talk to April, all the while his eyes were full of worry at the same time, like Raph could tell there was something amiss with him.

_(Ok Donnie you need to get Raph to back off before he starts asking what's wrong… But… How…)_

"Why would you care? Wouldn't it mean you get more time with her?" Donnie asked a bit more forcefully than he intended to, not that he was jealous of Raph or cared Raph spent time with her, but he wanted to get Raph off his case before he too realized there is truly something going on with him, that would make his big brother more than just be simply worried.

The worst scenario, that Donnie actually wanted to avoid by everyone, was being antagonized over his behavior lately, especially by Raph of all family members, knowing the hot head, wouldn't just drop it, not until he makes him spill the beans, only to ease up when he is satisfied with Donnie's answer.

Snapping Donnie out of his debate on what he should do, Raph smirked at him, giving a slight shiver down Donnie's spine, as Raph slowly leaned in towards him… clenching his fist, bringing it inches from Donnie's face.

_(Ahh… crap…)_

Flinching Donnie didn't move, then just when he was ready for the oncoming pain, considering he must have pissed Raph off with his comment, he felt a sharp hit on his beak.

To Donnie's surprise, Raph flicked him on the beak with his finger, making the purple clad turtle rub the area annoyingly, eyeing Raph down, for he was displeased by his actions towards him, Donnie wasn't sure how to respond to his brother, what was the older turtle thinking, to make it look like he was going to punch him of all things?

"Oh, I would love to have more time with her, especially in bed! But we both know that is not fair, besides, if you upset her, I will never hear the end of it. Do you know how boring it is, having sex with a girl that is upset? You're just better off with a sock," Raph roared, making Donnie regretting saying a thing, why did he even bother, he was just best to surrender when it came to Raph and did what he was told...

_(…)_

Not wanting this conversation to go into more depth than it already has, Donnie just knew what little sanity he had left wouldn't be able to handle Raph when he was acting in this manner.

Taking his leave, Donnie left the pervert at the stairs, who in turn was pleased with himself, like usual.

(Why does he always have to say such things?)

No doubt, though, Raph just said that to weird Donnie out, he like picking on him in this way.

Feeling a bit nervous, taking his time heading towards the kitchen area, Donnie shifted his feet when he reached one of the pillars leaning against it, watching April, taking in her beauty, the way she moved, her sweet smile on her lips, those stunning green eyes that were like deep pools that one could get lost in forever.

Biting his lip, he wondered if he should say something, his nightmare held him there, as he could see the images play in his head, of the young girl that resembled April when she was human.

"Good morning Donnie, would you like something to eat? I have some toast that I haven't finished you can have or I can make you something else," April looked towards his direction, just noticing he was there.

"I'm not really hungry…," as the words came out a worrisome look came over April's face, as she contemplated if she should tell him he should eat something or not, saving her the breath, Donnie continued quickly, "but I will eat the rest of your toast, if that is ok with you April."

Smiling April placed the plate with the two toasts on it, that haven't even been touched, which had peanut butter on them with a dash of brown sugar, the way he liked it.

_(Of course, you say you made it for yourself, but you really made it for me didn't you?)_

Taking a seat, he couldn't help to smile at April's clever trick to get him to eat, for it was obvious she didn't make the toast for herself, since she didn't like brown sugar on her peanut butter, she was more a banana fan.

Eating his breakfast, savoring every piece of it, he never could understand how she managed to make it taste so good, no one else could achieve such a goal, nothing compare to hers, yet wasn't this a simple thing to make?

_(This is sooo good…)_

As he finished the last bite, he felt her two soft arms wrapping around his neck, as April leaned against his shell, brushing her cheek against his, giving a soft chirp to him.

Hearing her sweet chirps, made his fears and doubts fade into nothingness, as the nightmare became no more, she was there, that was all he needed, why does he always have to avoid her when his nightmares plague him, she was his lifeline to bring him back, he had nothing to fear with her by his side.

"Are you full now?" April purred, kissing him on the cheek.

"It was very good April, thanks," Donnie kissed her back, smiling at her as he grabbed a lock of her hair, playing with it in between his fingertips, noticing how soft it was, yet he could smell Raph on her, they were having sex last night, what he could tell.

Tilting her head, April turned white, as she just realized why he seemed suddenly upset, April started to wish she washed beforehand; in her mind it was mean to have the smell of the other brother on her like this, "Sorry…"

Chuckling Donnie shook his head, pressing his cheek against her neck, making sure some of his pheromones came in contact to her skin to stick there, if Raph was on her, so will he.

Roaring by Donnie's actions, April kissed him again, "I swear it's like a little war between you two, oh well, I guess I should take a shower, so both of you will lose."

_(Lose? I think I could win…)_

"Maybe I should join you?" Donnie wondered if he could, did he have time?

Sure, he was scheduled to help out Raph, but Raph did go into his old lab, he might… Donnie crossed his fingers, Raph might get lost for a good amount of time, giving him the opportunity to spend some time with April this morning after all.

"No you may not. You have some work to do with Raph, besides, if he wasn't allowed, neither are you," April shook her head, of course he would try his luck too, yet she did leaned towards his ear, whispering gently, "But, tonight I might be interested if you are in the mood."

_(Really?!)_

Gulping Donnie didn't care about the shower anymore, he wanted tonight to be now, but alas, it wasn't to be, as a sharp reminder he had other things he must do at the moment, came barking behind April.

"Come on lover boy, lets get this show on the road," Raph stood there with a duffle bag that seemed full, as he leaned against the pillar eyeing the two turtles.

_(… I guess he didn't get lost… my bad luck…)_

"Ok, you two play nice… Where are the kids and Mikey?" April looked around noticing they weren't at the table anymore.

"Oh, I saw Mikey bringing them upstairs, something about leaving you and Donnie alone, for you two were acting naughty," Raph shook his head, showing how disappointed he was with them, yet gave a wide teasing grin afterwards.

"Ah crap…," April started, "I swear the both of you are a bad influence on me," she blamed them both before running off, heading towards the stairs, then suddenly stopped in her tracks, changing her direction at the split second, heading toward the bathroom instead, to take a quick shower first.

"Well lets get going then," Raph headed towards the door leading to the sewers, passing Donnie a flashlight, considering Donnie was a bit nervous of the dark.

_(Yeah… But do we really have to?)_

* * *

**Raph POV**

Hands violently shaking, making the flashlight flash around, hitting every reflective surface and object in the sewers, Donnie cringed more, hearing Raph growl in annoyance.

The hot headed brother, who wasn't all too keen to spend his evening scouring the sewers for the cameras that went down, was getting worse with his obvious fueling aggression, over the fact how much Donnie couldn't keep even a flashlight steady in his hand.

_(Can't he just hold the damn thing in one place, I have been trying to be all happy and calm, but I don't know how long I can keep up with this damn happy go lucky Raph impression act anymore!)_

Flashing a look over his shoulders Raph snarled, then his face softened instantly, noticing the expression on the younger brother's face.

"Donnie are you really that scared?" Raph stopped turning around, looking at Donnie in the eyes, with a gulp Donnie nodded, he hasn't been in the sewers much, the darkness and smells, terrified him, making him feel small and helpless.

_(Ahh… Crap… maybe it was too soon to let him out of the lair, what was Leo thinking?)_

Sighing, Raph shook his head, placing his hand on Donnie's shoulder, giving it a small squeeze to show his support, "Donnie there is nothing to be afraid of, we are the scariest things in the sewers. You are aware, that I won't let anything happen to you right?"

Nodding slowly, Donnie suddenly shivered as he swore he heard shuffling somewhere beyond the pitch black darkness, flashing his light, Raph sighed again, placing his hand on Donnie's hand to help steady it.

"Donnie, it's just a gust of wind, coming from the drains, nothing more. The thing with the darkness is that, it can play tricks on you, just remember one thing, if I say run, then be scared," Raph smiled, watching Donnie give him that annoying look, he had down so well.

"That doesn't help Raph… But… are you sure…" Donnie looked at the darkness again.

_(… I might have to have a little chat with Mikey, for him telling Donnie ghost stories about the sewers. Damn it, my money is on Mikey, for making Donnie so fearful!)_

Lightly punching Donnie with a smile, Raph continue walking, before he just wanted to get this job done so he can go off and do other things, but now, he wanted to get this over with, so they could go back to the safety of the lair and Donnie wouldn't be so scared anymore.

Deep down, he feared if this would affect Donnie in other ways, he still was worrisome over Donnie's progress, Raph did try his best to help out, yet at times he felt useless…

Turning down a corridor, Raph stopped in his tracks, looking at the pieces of plastic and wires scattered all over the sewer floor, wasn't the camera's just malfunctioning?

_(What the hell?!)_

Slowly looking where the camera was supposed to be mounted, the only thing that was left was the base, what was going on, there was no evidence that something even got close to them in the footage, to destroy them in this manner.

Taking back his statement about them being the scariest things in the sewers, Raph was speechless, debating what form of action he should take, was Donnie truly safe out here with him?

_(Damn this isn't good, what would take them down and not get caught on the video? Leo stated they just went out; it looks like it was more than just blacking out. Something smashed them, but what, like anyone comes down here, if they did, why would they bother with them or even notice they were there in the first place…)_

"Raph what's wrong?" Donnie came up to his brother looking over his shoulder noticing the broken camera.

"Donnie, I want you to stay right here, don't move, I'm going to take a quick look ahead," Raph stated to Donnie, yet avoided looking at him directly, knowing his brother fear was showing and to see his face would make him feel guilty in doing this.

Yet he had too, if something broke the cameras and was still around waiting, they would just be allowing it to follow them home, which could be the reason whoever is behind this broke the cameras in the first place.

Noticing in the corner of his eyes, Donnie slowly nodded pressing himself against the wall, Raph sighed under his breath, "I will only be a couple minutes, Donnie, please don't move, or go home… don't worry the camera probably just fell…"

Feeling worse on lying to his little brother, Raph quickly pressed forward, he had to know if the other cameras were in the same condition and to see if he can see any evidence on who was behind this.

* * *

**Donnie POV**

Pressing against the cold brick wall, Donnie watched his older brother disappear within the darkness, Raph was lying and he knew it.

_(Why does he have to lie, I know that camera just didn't fall…)_

Sure Donnie has issues, but he can tell when Raph isn't telling the truth, which wasn't a habit of him doing so, but when he does, it was obvious as day.

Yet when Raph stated they were the scariest things in the sewers he was truthful, that Donnie was certain of, then what would make Raph worry?

_(Are we really the scariest things here? Maybe Raph doesn't really know…)_

Biting his lip, he held his sides, he didn't like this he wanted to go home, but if Raph said he shouldn't, then he should not.

With a small whimper Donnie glared into the darkness, wishing Raph would come back already, he didn't want to be alone, what if there is something lurking within the darkness, what if it dares to approach him, what was he to do?

He was incapable to fight, yes, he was being trained in the arts of a ninja… yet he was still a beginner as Leo would put it, he wasn't even close to what he use to be, or good enough to be entrusted with his bo staff, not that he knew what to do with it, if he was.

To bring the fear factor up, something stirred to his right, heart throbbing, Donnie looked over his shoulder, was it the wind?

Gulping the movement came closer; it could be Raph, or even one of his brothers checking in, right?

_(Please be Raph, please be Raph, I don't care if it's a joke on his behalf, I just want it to be him!)_

As the sound came closer, revealing it was definitely not his imagination or the wind itself, Donnie shook, "Raph?" Donnie finally squeaked out.

Whatever was moving stopped, as silence once again took root.

_(It could be Mikey or Leo… April? No, she would stay with the kids…)_

What felt like hours Donnie stood there alone, gathering what courage he had which wasn't much, as he managed to speak up, "Raph… Mikey?"

Suddenly an unfamiliar growl commence, making his poor heart flutter, feelings of terror rippled through his body as he pressed his shell tighter against the wall, was it really some kind of monster? Or was this some sick trick?

Fearing the worse, knowing even though Mikey like playing tricks on him, he wouldn't go this far, Donnie hadn't the faintest idea who it could be.

_(Please be one of my brothers… Raph… where are you… I'm scared….)_

Breathing heavily, Donnie bottom lip trembled as he gulped, feeling his mouth becoming dry, "Who… who is there?"

As the words came out, something flashed into his sight, coming for him, taking him off his feet, slamming him onto the cold brick ground hard, as an unbelievable weight pressed against his body, holding him down with an iron grip.

Letting out a moan, in his defense, Donnie shielded his face with his arms; only to have his attacker grabbed them quickly, thrusting them to the ground on either side of him.

With a gasping moan of pain, Donnie's body trembled in horror as he came face to face with someone he never imagine would be there or was actually real at that.

His nightmare came to reality, there, glaring at him was this massive alligator, the mere size of this monster was double of his, its weight was by far more than what Donnie could handle, as its breath was rancid that could even wake the dead or disintegrate the body instead...

"You PROMISED!" the beast gruff voiced boomed echoing in Donnie's ear drums, as the alligator's snout came closer to Donnie's face, seeing no way to escape, Donnie knew with one wrong move, the alligator could very well bite his head off with its powerful jaws.

"I…. I don't know…. What… what yourrr talking about!" Donnie whimpered fearfully, why was his nightmare here, how could it be, wasn't he awake and where in the world was Raph?

_(Someone help me! Wake me up PLEASE!)_

"Do you really think, I will be fooled by such a poor act!? You promised me Donatello, you would protect her!"

Staring at his attacker, Donnie was baffled by the alligator's words, who was he talking about, it couldn't be referring to April, was it?

"Protect who, who are you! I don't know what you're talking about!" Donnie bellowed out whimpering between words, trying his hardest to fight back the tears, as he lost all control of his body that just shook violently, all the while he truly wished Raph never left him alone.

"Rrrr, Don't play dumb turtle! Her place was trashed and it appears that April hasn't been home for some time, so the question remains! Where is she, and why didn't you protect her!" the alligator growled fiercely, putting all its weight down onto Donnie's plastron, as its long tail smashed into the ground inches away from Donnie's head, warning the poor turtle that he wasn't playing games!

_(April? He is talking about her… What did he mean by, I was to protect… in what regards… How does he know her… What's going on!)_

Closing his mouth tightly, Donnie was completely lost on the situation or what this alligator's true intent was, but one thing was clear as day to him, this alligator was looking for his mate of all people, the one he loved so very much!

There was no way he would ever let anyone hurt her if he could help it, that was his promise to himself, for this guy's so called promise, Donnie didn't remember ever making it, nor could he see himself in the past ever agreeing to such a promise to him, or would bothered dealing with such an aggressive person in the first place.

Like someone finally was answering to his pleas for help, something far in the darkness moved quickly towards him.

"Donnie!?" Raph called in the distance, as the alligator flashed a look up, growling at the fact Raph was coming their way.

"If you value your brother's lives Donatello, I would avoid telling Raphael there, about me. That includes Leonardo and Michelangelo, do I make myself clear, turtle!" the alligator demanded, squeezing the purple clad turtle's wrists with its oversized hands, shooting pain through Donnie's body.

Complying, wanting the pain to stop, Donnie slowly nodded, trying not to scream, not believing he was actually agreeing with this thing, yet it knew his brother's names…

_(Let me go and go away…)_

Before Raph was in eyesight to see Donnie laying on the ground, the big alligator was gone without a trace, like he was never there.

_(Was he just my imagination? Was I seeing things again?)_

"Shit Donnie what happen?" Raph rushed to his brother's aid, grabbing Donnie's arm gently, helping him up to his feet.

"I… slipped…" Donnie looked down in shame, he wasn't sure how real the alligator's threats were, or even if this event ever happened, either way, Donnie didn't want to risk it coming out of the shadows and hurt Raph because of him, forcing the young turtle to be untruthful towards his big brother.

"Slip?... Jeez Donnie I thought… are you sure?" Raph tilted his head at Donnie, trying to read him.

"Yeah… Can we go home Raph… please…" Donnie whimpered, still not making eye contact with Raph, fearing he would read through his lie.

_(Please no more questions… Don't make me lie anymore… I don't like it…)_

Sighing, shaking his head, Raph placed his hand on his younger brother's shoulder, "Sure thing, let's get home. We can fix these damn cameras another night."

Not saying a word Donnie only followed, as Raph continued to wonder what was eating him, did the sewers really scared him this much?

Watching in the corner of his eye, Donnie was fully aware that Raph was a bit skeptic on his lie and was disturbed by his frighten state, yet no matter how much Donnie wanted to give in and let his brother know what conspired when he left him, the little voice in the back of his head only screamed at him on the mere idea, warning him that the alligator was true to his word.


	25. SM Part 4 - (Stranger)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch4. (Stranger)**

* * *

**April POV**

Handing the children off to Mikey who volunteered to take care of them for the day, April slowly moved her way towards the Dojo reluctantly, in the dim lighted room, there was a shadow of a figure between two lit candles, not to her surprise the shadow was Leo sitting there meditating, waiting for her arrival.

Not even saying a word remaining in his state of peace, the ninja waited patiently for her to take her seat, as he instructed her in doing so the other day, to come and join him.

Nervously April stood there rubbing her arm wearily, "Leo, I'm not really sure about this… I mean ok, I know I sat in for Donnie's sake, but a one on one session with me…"

It has been weeks now that Leo has been constantly insisting on her to take some lesson from him, nothing to extravagant of course, he explained to her he just wanted to arrange some meditation sessions, as well some basic training in order for her to protect herself better in extreme circumstances.

His personal opinion on the subject were valid she had to admit and she truly did understand where he was coming from, for being not just a mutant, but a mother and the mate of not just one ninja but two, she did need to know more then just how to punch and kick her way out of a fight.

Sure she could hold her own against any street thug to a point that is, but if she ever found herself against a foot ninja, which she was told there aren't many around now these days and they tend not to bother them anymore, she still needed some defensive skills just for the critical moment that something did arise against her.

With a smile, Leo opened one eye looking her over, "April, do we always have to do this? You're more then capable to learn what I can teach you, besides it's not just for your own benefit, but ours as well. I agree with Raph on this, if you become more skilled, the less we will worry about you. Not saying we think you're weak, but there are people out there…"

Quickly stepping in before this turned into one of his famous long lectures, April sighed, "I know Leo… It's just not that easy for me… I'm sorry. I really don't like fighting so much and prefer not to put myself in such situations and…"

"Then don't think of it as fighting per say, but defending yourself and your hatchlings," Leo closed his eyes, knowing the last part of his comment got her hook line and sinker.

_(Damn, he just had to say it that way, didn't he…)_

Sighing in defeat, rolling her eyes annoyingly, he did have her exactly where he wanted her, he just couldn't resist playing the hatchlings card on her, did he?

"Fine… Just be patient with me," April sat down trying not to pout.

With a light chuckle, Leo tried not to lose his concentration, "Patience? After dealing with both Donnie and Mikey in one session, I don't think I have to worry so much about that when dealing with you."

_(Oh, I forgot about that day, I'm still not sure who was more wired for sound, Mikey or Donnie?)_

"I guess you got me there," April smiled devilishly seeing Leo was cringing on the flashback.

* * *

**Raph POV**

Finally reaching the door to the lair, Raph opened it carefully making sure no one was around first, not even open half way, Donnie rushed right in quickly, still not ushering a word, as Raph could only shake his head.

In a matter of seconds Donnie was on the couch staring at the blank TV, deep down, Raph wanted to see what was up, yet he couldn't, he knew he would only get the avoiding silence yet again, if he bothered.

_(What happened out there… why was he lying to me? There was no way he just slipped… not the way he was acting… was he attacked? If he was, why didn't I see anyone, only foot ninjas are that good...)_

Crossing his arms, Raph debated what to do, should he tell April or Leo of Donnie's demeanor?

Biting his lip, he wasn't sure that was the right approach to this, yet one thing he did have to do, was talk to Leo that was for sure, about the cameras to see how they should proceed with that disturbing finding of his.

_(I really should deal with the cameras first, then Donnie, I just hope they are not related… If they are… then something is out there wanting to pick a fight with us… why now of all times?)_

Tilting his head towards the Dojo, noticing it was before noon and it looks like it was being occupied, Raph recalled Leo stating something about finally getting April to train, though he did wonder if his elder brother accomplished such a feat or not this time around, April could be the stubborn type.

Biting his lip, the idea of having April finally agreeing to train, held as much as an importance to him, sure the information about the camera's could wait right, until they are done with their session at least?

_(I will talk to him in a bit, not like an hour will change things.)_

Making the decision to go sit with Donnie to see if he at least do something productive, and attempt some small talk with the younger brother to get him to open up, not even a step forward, the sounds of the door to the sewers open behind him, frozen in his spot, a sense of dread washed over Raph.

Why would the door be opening, it didn't make sense, everyone was home, he knew that for sure, then who was coming into the so call secure home of his?

_(SHIT! Did someone follow us and I didn't notice!)_

As the door closed, Raph watched Donnie take a peek over the couch to see who just came in, instantly the purple clad turtle turned white in utter pure fear, taking that as a clear sign that indeed someone did follow them, Raph grind his teeth, who would dare to intrude into his home!

Turning around quickly drawing his sai to go into battle, he only stood down just as quickly, in disbelief.

_(I will be damned...)_

There standing at the door, smiling welcomely, was someone he hasn't seen for years, "Shit is that you Leatherhead? Damn, it has been a while!" Raph put away his sais extending his hand out to greet the alligator he thought he would never see again, after he left the city over 4 years ago.

"It has been Raphael… is there something wrong with Donatello, he is looking at me oddly, like he doesn't recognize me…" Leatherhead shook Raph's hand, looking over the muscle turtle, staring at the turtle on the couch that only became more nervous under his eyes.

"Oh yeah, that… rrr… How do I explain this… in short, he doesn't, Donnie had an accident a while back and he is still recovering… Leo would be better at explaining it in details than me. Just don't take it personally, he hasn't met anyone new for some time and he is weary of anyone he doesn't know," Raph tried to explain, just as Leo came out of the Dojo followed by April.

"Leatherhead, when did you get back into town?" Leo asked with a smile, happy to see the old friend again.

"Yesterday, I would have been over sooner, but I was trying to get settled down into my old lab first. Oh? And who may this be?" Leatherhead turned his attention towards April, marveled over seeing another turtle and a female at that.

"Oh, this is April," Raph introduced her, "April, this is an old friend of ours Leatherhead, he left a while back, I guess even he couldn't resist coming back to the Big Apple."

"Hi… umm is Donnie ok?" April looked over towards the living room, noticing Donnie was shaking like a leaf, he looked terrified, unsure why, wondering it had to do with a new face or not, she headed towards him quickly, trying to calm him down, only to have him look away from her, with his head low, whimpering.

Raising an eye brow on the bizarre sight, Raph has never seen Donnie act in this manner, not that anyone new has ever come into Donnie's life other than the kids, but still, he was acting more like he knew Leatherhead and feared him, then seeing him as some stranger.

"Guys, I'm going to bring Donnie to his room, is that ok? I think this is too much for him, he needs a moment to grasp on the thought of someone new is around," April called across the room, as she tried to get Donnie to follow her upstairs.

_(Why is Donnie so hesitant to follow her?)_

"Do you need a hand?" Raph volunteered as April just shook her head in response.

"I will be fine, can either of you help Mikey with the kids, it's almost lunch time," April asked, figuring she should stay with Donnie until his nerves settled down.

"Sure thing, don't worry April," Leo answered her, just to cringe witnessing the massive grin that formed on Raph's face, realizing once again he somehow volunteered himself to feed one of the munchkins…

_(Oh, thank you Leo, you're such a good brother to give a helping hand!)_

Watching April disappear into Donnie's room with Donnie, Raph turned his attention back to Leatherhead who seemed more lost than ever.

"Kids? I do believe I have missed much in the past years that has gone by…" Leatherhead could only say, in complete surprise to hear there was kids?!

"You have no idea," Leo sighed, shaking his head, inviting the old friend in.

* * *

Sitting at the table the three mutants chatted up a storm, as the brothers brought Leatherhead up to speed.

"I see, that is very misfortunate to hear about what happen to Donatello. You said he also fell off a roof and was in a coma as well?" Leatherhead sat back on his chair, processing the news.

"Yeah, he cracked his shell and smashed April's vehicle, all the while protecting her," Raph said sadly still feeling he should have prevented that, only if he got to her old place quicker, that whole disaster would have been avoided, that almost torn his family apart.

"With no one that you can trust, I take it that Donatello hasn't had a proper screening, or test done on him? As for the young lady, she to hasn't had her blood work looked at as well?" Leatherhead leaned forward looking at the brothers.

_(He is right, she hasn't nor has Donnie…)_

"No on both accounts, with only Donnie having that capability, we have no one to do that for us anymore," Leo answered, crossing his arms wearily, sometimes he wished Donnie wasn't the only one that could do this, it's been hard not having another person around to help out, it could have come in handy.

"Then allow me to lend a hand, if it is all right with you Leonardo. I can give Donatello a proper diagnosis and see if there is anything else that could be hindering him. As for April, I can see if her blood work is fine and there are no unexpected anomalies that might have occurred during mutation, that no one is aware of, as well any threats to her health for being mutated into a turtle," Leatherhead offered, as both brothers look at each other with a nod, this would be great, if they can find out about Donnie, maybe his illness is something that could be fixed right away, with the proper treatment.

"That would be most appreciated Leatherhead, but first let me pass this on to April and Donnie, they both don't know you and I want them to feel comfortable with this. I know April would be more than willing, but Donnie will be less, it will take him longer for him to allow you to do anything towards him," Leo explained.

Smiling, Leatherhead nodded, "That would be suspected in his condition. I will take simple tests to gain his trust, ones that I can do here in his lab, if permitted."

"Whatever you need Leatherhead, you know more about Donnie's lab than any of us put together," Leo stated feeling a wave of relief going over him.

_(If he is taking tests… maybe I should ask him…)_

Biting his lip, Raph stared at his hands, contemplating if he should ask or not, "There is one more thing LH… By chance can you do a DNA test to determine a child's birth father…?"

"Raph! I thought it was agreed neither you nor Donnie would question about who is the kids' father is. April would never agree to it, why would you even ask such a thing?" Leo crossed his arms at Raph disappointed, he understood why Raph would be asking, but to determine the kids' father might cause a wedge between his brothers and April, causing unnecessary problems.

"I know that Leo… rrrr…. I… I just want to know that's all! Hell April doesn't have to find out or even Donnie at that. LH is going to take their blood anyways, right? So I will give a sample of mine on top of that. As for the kids, they need to be checked too, it's not like we can see a doctor to see if they are healthy as well," Raph growled.

_(Of course he is against it, what is so wrong in knowing who the father is, if I am the only one to know, it's not like I will change my views on them or April and Donnie…)_

"Wait, you don't know who the father is?" Leatherhead had that confused look again.

"Well…" Raph rubbed his head shamefully, feeling a bit embarrassed at the same time, "Not really, it's a long story, short… Donnie and I both… mated with April, so we have no clue who the father is."

"Oh… I think that is enough details, then I wanted to know on that. So other words, April was mutated and both you boys mated with her, I take it, it was mating season, or she was in heat for being a turtle," Leatherhead shook his head.

Biting his lip, Raph lowered his head, it did sound bad didn't it, "Yeah, that was actually how it went down, so… can you do it?" Raph asked again, ignoring the protest from Leo, who narrowed his eyes at his younger brother.

"I could… but if it's against both the mother and Leonardo's approval, I'm sorry Raphael I can not," Leatherhead put the turtle's request down.

"Oh come on LH…" Raph started only to have Leo bark at him in disapproval, tugging the younger brother's shell, forcing him to get closer to him, to show he put his foot down and he meant it and not to continue this conversation.

"Raph that's enough, leave it!" Leo growled daring Raph to go against his order.

Grinding his teeth, Raph huffed, "Fine, whatever Leo!"

_(Damn it Leo, why don't you just back off, this isn't your business… it's mine!)_

"Umm... can I have help here please!" Mikey voice came from the stairs; quickly in response to his little brother's plea for help, Leo got to his feet rushing forward to aid him.

"What Leonardo doesn't know won't hurt him," Leatherhead stated in a whisper, looking at Raph, hinting to him.

"So you will do it then?" Raph said as low as he could, making sure the big brother had no clue what they were conspiring.

"Yes, but let's not talk about it, to alarm Leonardo and upset him. All considering I too am curious to see who is the father... As well, I do strongly believe you have the right to know my friend."

"Thanks LH, now I should go help out, both Willow and Luke can be a handful, they both have the remarkable ability to stress, Leo out," Raph beamed, overjoyed on the notion he was going to find out if he was the kids' father or not.

* * *

**April POV **

Curled up behind him, April held onto Donnie, stroking his head softly, as he clenched his pillow against his chest tightly, he hadn't said a peep or move from his position, all the while staring at the door anxiously.

_(I wish he would calm down, why is he acting like this guy was going to hurt him?)_

"Donnie, it's ok, I know it's scary to meet someone new, without warning. But your brothers seem to like him, they did say he was an old friend," April said soothingly not stopping her actions.

Yet her words would not reach him, with a sigh April tried another approached.

Slowly she licked his neck, yet he shuddered as she did, retreating from her, with a thick aroma a fear seeping out of his pores.

Confused April stared at him, this was the first time he has ever acted in this manner towards her affections; he was always so willing to receive them, so open, loving her giving him this kind of attention.

"Donnie what is wrong? Did something happen?" April said slowly, tugging onto his shoulder, forcing him to rolled over onto his shell, so she could make eye contact with him.

His eyes were wet with tears, red even, full of terror, like he was living through some nightmare.

_(Something is not right here, why do I get the feeling there is more to this than just having a stranger in his house.)_

"Donnie, please talk to me, I'm your mate, we can talk about anything," April gently rubbed his cheek, hoping it would get him to ease up and be more open towards her.

Shaking his head, the purple clad turtle rolled over quickly, burying his beak into his pillow once again, shuddering under her arms, still unwilling to look at her or talk at that.

_(What should I do? How do I get him to talk, this isn't healthy for him…)_

"Umm Donnie? ...Why don't I go get Raph or Leo, will that make you feel better?" April suggested, she didn't know what to do, he needed to talk, but him refusing to talk to her wasn't helping this situation at all.

Getting to her feet April stepped over Donnie to get off the bed, yet only to be grabbed by the legs, as Donnie pulled her down into his arms with a strong hold, one that Donnie only has done once before, when he was having nightmares.

"Don't go… I don't want to lose you…" Donnie whimpered, nuzzling his beak into her neck.

"Lose me? Donnie what is going on?" April asked, unable to move, feeling how much more stronger Donnie was, compared to her.

"Please don't go… not until he is gone… I don't want to lose you," Donnie repeated, adding 'until he is gone', was he talking about Leatherhead? Why would Donnie think he would lose her if he was here?

_(Damn… I don't believe asking Donnie any more questions will get me anywhere, I guess the only thing I can do is wait and try to ease him. Why is he so scared of Leatherhead, is it because Donnie doesn't know him? Or is it that Donnie has it in his head, because there is someone new, that person could be a threat towards him? But what about the 'losing me' comment?… He really doesn't think that Leatherhead would take me away does he? I know Donnie is still very dependent on me, but still, is the thought of me leaving, still makes him feel uneasy and giving birth to this odd behavior?…)_

"Ok Donnie I won't leave, but you have to stop crying and relax. Please don't push me away, you promise me, you will never do that to me again, remember?" April rubbed Donnie's arm softly, letting out a low churr.

"I.. I remember April… sorry," Donnie apologized easing his grip around April into a gentle hold, nuzzling her neck lovingly, letting out some churrs as his offering to her for forgiveness.

Smiling April pressed into him, giving him some churrs back, as well licking him on the cheek as her way to say I forgive you.


	26. SM Part5 -(Some truths must not be told)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch5. (Some truths must not be told… )**

* * *

**Donnie POV**

Nervously Donnie shook uncontrollably, as both April and Leo tried to comfort the poor turtle's nerves, with either one on each side of him, both did what they could, April rubbed his shoulder as Leo gently squeezed, reminding the purple clad turtle brother that he was there.

Yet no amount of effort could bring him peace, as he anxiously eyed the large alligator that moved about in his old lab, part of him didn't appreciate this guy waltzing around as if the massive mutant owned it, the other issue that hinder him, was he couldn't push aside what happened in the sewers.

Without a shadow of a doubt, this was the same monster that threatened him and his family, how could they trust him? How could they not see through his so called smile, his fake friendly state?

(I don't care they say he is an old friend… Why would I be friends with such a cruel person like him?)

Biting his lip, almost jumping out of his shell, Donnie trembled as the alligator directed his attention towards him, holding onto a syringe in one hand, while slowly making his way towards him flashing an amusing smile.

Instantly Leo and April reacted with kind words, stating that the alligator wasn't going to harm him, only wanting to draw blood nothing more.

"Donnie it will be ok, it won't hurt," April said soothingly, rubbing his head.

"Why… why does he have to do that?!" Donnie tried to scramble back on the medical bed, only to feel his shell tightly, pressing against Leo's plastron, while the big brother loomed over him.

"Donnie calm down, he needs to do it for some test to see if you're healthy, nothing more, later he will be doing the same towards April and the kids," Leo sighed, holding his position, though having Donnie's shell so firmly against his stomach was starting to bring some discomfort to him.

"I'm healthy! Why… why... him…" Donnie shook his head violently wishing they would let him go.

Brushing his cheek lovingly, April directed Donnie to look at her as she pressed her beak against his, "Yes, I know Donnie, but we need to know if there isn't anything else wrong with you that could be hindering you with your recovery… Please Donnie, trust me, I would never do anything to you that would harm you."

(I trust you, him I don't…)

Before Donnie could say another word, a sharp pinch could be felt on his arm, accompanied by the feeling of Leo's firm hand holding his arm in place, quickly Donnie tried to turn his head, yet April wouldn't allow it, holding him firmly, yet gently with her hands on his cheeks, forcing him to keep all eyes on her.

(NO no no no!)

Whimpering Donnie shuttered, as feelings of dread wash over him, over the fact he was being overpowered by the two people he cared much for and trusted, how could they trust the alligator, how could they let that monster do this to him?!

Done, April and Leo let go of Donnie as he stared into the abyss, eyes full of tears, while the two turtles exchanged looks of guilt, neither of them wanted to resort to this, but after attempting to drag Donnie into the lab for an hour, then an hour more desperately convincing Donnie there was nothing to fear, both were at the point they just wanted this done and over with.

Avoiding the alligator, Donnie could feel his smile over the great accomplishment of drawing his blood, sadly to his dismay, the other two didn't notice anything out of the ordinary of the alligator's demeanor.

That said Donnie could tell, knowing very well it wasn't his imagination, deep down Donnie was positive that the giant was up to something, for many questions plagued him, that only brought him closer to this conclusion.

For instance, why did the alligator attacked him, then not moments later show up at his front door with open arms, like some lost friend, making it seem like the incident in the sewers never occurred?

Was he making sure Donnie didn't usher a word of their meeting?

Feeling weary, Donnie wanted to leave now, they got the blood sample, he didn't want to be in there a second longer.

(Maybe I should cry? I don't want to upset April… but I don't want to be here anymore and I have to get her away from him as well… What if he hurts her?)

Playing out his plan, Donnie buried his beak into April's warm plastron, giving out the most desperate saddest whimpers he could muster, hoping it was enough, as April gently wrapped her arms around him softly in response, "Sorry Donnie, I know that wasn't easy for you… why don't we go and see the kids."

More than eager to comply, Donnie nodded only to cringe afterwards, as the alligator spoke up in protest, "Actually April, I was hoping to have a one and one conversation with you, as well perform some tests, to help determine your health."

"Oh really… ok," April stuttered suddenly, feeling Donnie pressing into her tighter, showing he wasn't too thrilled on the idea, not wanting her to do this.

Sighing Leo firmly squeezed Donnie's shoulder, "Donnie its ok, why don't we go check on the kids instead."

"No…" Donnie whimpered more, wrapping his arms around April firmly, how could he dare to leave her with this man, behind close doors at that, all Donnie wanted was to protect her.

(I can't let her be with him, he will hurt her, he will hurt her!)

Biting his lip, Leo looked at April for some support, considering she was the only one capable at the moment to get through to his brother, which in turn Leo felt helpless at the current moment, feeling awful to be so demanding with his little brother, all the while only wanting to comfort him as a brother, not act so much like a leader.

"Donnie it will be fine, don't worry. Please do this for me, I will be here, no harm will come to me, I promise," April cooed, kissing Donnie on the head, feeling his hot tears.

Sniffling Donnie didn't want to, yet he could feel the grip on his shoulder tighten, as he could smell Leo's disappointment, over his outburst and actions.

What seemed like hours, finally caving in, Donnie lets go of his love regretfully.

(Leo, he better not hurt her… If he does… it will be entirely all your fault! And… and I will never forgive you!)

* * *

**April Pov**

Silently she sat there, holding in her sighs, while she watched Leo escort Donnie out of the lab, watching warily as the door shut behind them, sure she knew the guys insisted Leatherhead was a friend, but the way he look at her at times… only brought her shivers.

She couldn't explain it, maybe he was in awe that there was a female turtle now, this must seem very new to him?

"Now April, I will be needing some blood please," Leatherhead came towards her with a syringe withdrawing some blood, as April couldn't stomach the sight, looking away quickly.

"Um Leatherhead what is it exactly do you want to talk to me about?" April asked nervously, she started to feel awkward being alone with this stranger.

(April stop acting like Donnie, remember the boys wouldn't trust him if he was a threat, besides Raph talks about him with much regard, and Raph would never put you in harms way.)

"Ah yes, that. I would like to discuss a personal matter that I notice no one has been willing to go into great depth. Figuring it involves you, they were probably respecting you and letting you bring me up to speed," Leatherhead placed a piece of gauze over her arm insisting her to hold it there.

"Ok, what is it?" April asked, pressing her free hand firmly on the gauze.

"It's the matter surrounding your mutation, for instance, if I am to determine your health, I must know the nature of it, to make sure I cover all my bases."

Shifting uneasily April looked away, "It was an accident…"

Raising an eyebrow Leatherhead sighed, "As I have been told, please understand April, it is apparent I receive more information, then just it was an accident. For instance, what was involved, mutagen, machine, other?"

Biting her lip, April debated on what to do or say, "Leatherhead I was told you were friends with Donnie and been in his lab more times then not… Am I correct?"

Leaning against Donnie's desk the alligator nodded in response, "Indeed we were best of friends; sadly he doesn't remember me…"

(Maybe it is best I show him… I.. I don't want him to know Donnie was involved, he might not understand the condition Donnie was in and perceive Donnie in some ill light.)

"I see… then… I will show you…" April slowly got up, as Leatherhead looked at her sideways.

"Show me?"

Making her way to the archway in the back, that was open long ago, now had a steel door on it with a padlock, the family felt it was necessary to store all Donnie's inventions that could be harmful or they had no clue what it was, within.

To insure Donnie never finds them, not until he was well enough, as well the safety of the kids were also in the air, they locked it up, with only having Leo and April knowing the code.

Firmly gripping the padlock, April looked at it, was this necessary, should she dare show Leatherhead, but he was aware of what Donnie had in his lab, maybe he would understand the process more, that she went through so many years ago.

Unlocking it, April opened the doors, as a stale air rushed out, making her beak cringe, trying not to sneeze she held it, letting the fit pass by.

Squinting into the dark room, April found the light switch turning it on, as she cast her gaze over the inventions nervously, she wasn't too fond in being inside this room, many of the machines gave her the creeps, as others were too odd for her to even fandom what they were for.

"So this is where you have stored all his stuff, I was wondering," Leatherhead came in, running his finger over the dust that was building up, giving the alligator the impression this room and its inventions within, haven't been used for some time.

"Yes, it is, it was a safety precaution for having two hatchlings about, we didn't want them to play with this stuff," April told the alligator, only allowing him to know half the truth.

"I fully understand, some of these aren't to not safe for anyone that isn't fully aware of their functions… So April what is it that you wanted to show me?"

Turning her attention towards the corner that had a machine covered by a sheet, April took a hold of its corner, feeling weary to uncover it, she didn't like looking at it, for it only inspired nightmares, making her relive that night… the night Donnie mutated her to make her understand him, in order for him to be able to ask her to become his mate…

With a deep breath, feeling her muscles reluctantly not willing to comply with her, she managed to take the sheet as a gasp came from Leatherhead as soon as she did.

(I will take it, he knows about this machine after all…)

White, the alligator went to it, with wide eyes, looking around for the power source, turning it on, as he ignored April, becoming consumed by it, evaluating the information that flashed on the screen, unsure what he was looking at, April remained silent.

Then suddenly the air around the room turned dark and violent, as April got a whiff of the alligator's scent, Leatherhead was furious, as he gripped the side of the panel hard not daring to look at April, as he lowered his head letting out a cursive growl.

"Did Donnie do this!" the alligator demanded viciously.

Gulping, feeling uneasy of his sudden mood swing, April took a couple steps back, "No… why would you ask?"

(Why did he consider it was Donnie, right away?)

"**Because** the calculation are too precise, no way any of the other brothers have the capability to program this machine, to suit your DNA!" the alligator growled flashing a look at April in a hot rage, as his eyes slit.

(Umm… Should I run?)

Feeling uncomfortable, unwilling to stay there any longer, April took another step back in utter fear, yet to her dismay, the alligator move quickly forward grabbing her arm forcefully, before she could attempt to flee.

Narrowing his eyes, the alligator growled more, "Well are you going to tell me the truth child! Did the blasted turtle do this to you!?"

Shaking in pure horror, April desperately pulled her arm, that throb painfully under his strength, "Let me go! Let me go!"

"TELL ME!" Leatherhead didn't let go, tightening his grip all the more, for April's unwillingness of giving him the information on what really happened.

Suddenly something stirred, catching the alligator's attention, someone was coming, quickly the alligator let go of April's arm, once free she didn't dare to stick around, bolting out of the room, almost slamming into Raph in the process.

Startled and overly shock by what just happened; she didn't stop, passing him by while crying heavily, not even saying a word to Raph in the process, leaving the red clad turtle in a cloud of confusion.

* * *

**Raph Pov**

Startled the red clad turtle turned to April to say something, only to be distracted by Leatherhead, which his voice came from the room no one was allowed to venture in.

"I'm sorry… I…" Leatherhead's face went grim in his shame, as his knees buckled under him, causing the alligator to fall to the floor, as he placed his head in his hands.

Flashing a look towards the lab not able to see April anymore, then back to his friend on the floor, Raph could only sigh, unsure what was going on.

(What happened?)

"What are you sorry about?" Raph walked towards the alligator, flashing a look at his red clad friend, Leatherhead bit his lip.

"I lost my sanity… I let my instincts take a hold of me and I might have hurt the young turtle… I'm soo sorry…" Leatherhead wept.

(Ah shit… I thought he was over that issue…)

Debating whether he was best to go after April to explain to her what probably happened or comfort his depressed friend, Raph picked Leatherhead, on the very notion that by now Leo must have noticed the red head's distress by now and was calming her down at that very moment.

"LH, it's ok… what happened, to bring it on this time around?" Raph crossed his arms, just coming to the realization the machine that was used on April was on, was that the cause?

"I'm sorry my friend, April showed me the device that was used on her, after evaluating it, I lost it… The mere thought that Donnie would use it on a human being, was too much to bare… So I asked the young female if it was Donnie, for I know you all told me of his condition and it would be unlikely… yet she would not usher a word… and one thing led to another…"

Biting his lip, Raph shook his head, "Don't blame her, she… no… we all promise not to bring this up, for Donnie doesn't remember ever doing it."

Quickly flashing a look the alligator turned white, as he was lost for words, finding it hard to speak, "So… so it was him… how… why! Surely there must be some good reason… Please Raphael, tell me, I must know."

Giving in, Raph not seeing the harm in this, personally, he truly believed that Leatherhead needed to know what conspired that night, before, his silence was just out of respect for both April and Donnie, yet now it was apparent there was no way avoiding it, even if he had to take the responsibility for bringing Leatherhead up to speed, "Ok.. but first understand one thing LH. Never, I mean never, mention this to Donnie. Not a word, not even bringing back up this topic afterwards, please… we don't want Donnie to know… For the last time… he tried to kill himself…"


	27. SM Part 6 - (Home Bitter Home)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch6. (Home Bitter Home )**

* * *

**Donnie Pov**

Smiling, nuzzling his beak, letting out a cheerful churr, Donnie cuddled with little Willow.

The small child thrilled of this treatment smiled brightly, churring back, yawning when she became comfortable within his arms.

"Funny she calms down right away in your arms Donnie," Leo admitted, with a hint of jealousy, why couldn't the young turtles be like that with him?

Looking up at his big brother, Donnie chuckled making Leo tilt his head in wonder, "That is because you don't show them love."

"I do too!" Leo spat becoming insulted by the statement; he does love them, why would Donnie say such a thing?

_(Silly Leo.)_

"Not in the way they want you to," Donnie got up placing Willow in Leo's arms.

Instantly the elder brother stiffened up, gulping hard, waiting for the fireworks, that didn't take long to happen.

"See… Donnie, she is crying…" Leo bit his lip in frustration, feeling his head throbbing again.

"Show her that you love her," Donnie sat on the couch next to Leo, watching the older brother eagerly.

Not a second after he did, Willow extended her arms, almost begging Donnie to take her back, then be left in the care of her blue clad uncle.

_(Oh Willow, Uncle Leo will love you, you will see.)_

"I'm holding her, isn't that enough? I even rock her…" Leo panicked, feeling the stress wash over him, he wanted to do anything, then this, why did he have such a hard time handling these kids?

_(Why doesn't Leo understand? Willow is just like us. Why does he always act she is some strange thing, becoming so uncomfortable around her?)_

"But you're not churring to her. Leo, she's a turtle…. she likes to be churred too, like we do," Donnie pointed out, watching Leo's face turning white, on the mere idea of that act.

Feeling his voice tremble, though he couldn't stop it, Leo felt at a lost, "Churr?! …I …I can't…"

_(Leo can't churr? I don't understand…)_

"Why?" Donnie tilted his head, unsure why Leo couldn't, he could, April could, even Mikey and Raph can.

"I…" Leo cleared his throat, noticing Mikey who was sitting there quietly, with an amusing smile on his lips.

The orange clad turtle leaned on the edge of his chair waiting anxiously; no one has ever heard Leo churred before.

"She wants you to Leo, do it for your niece," Donnie played with Willows toes, making the child squeal happily, only to cry when Donnie stopped.

_(You can do it big brother, come on, please do it for her.)_

Biting his lip, taking a breath, Leo brought the child closer to him, nuzzling his beak into her neck, letting out a small nervous churr.

As the sound reached the child's ears, it startled her.

Quickly she stopped her crying, looking at Leo very complex, unsure if he was the one that churred to her.

The seconds pass by, while a cloud of silence fell, as all eyes were on the small turtle child, waiting to see how Willow would respond to this new experience.

_(Willow, please accept him… Leo needs it, as much as you need him. At least he is trying, even if he isn't perfect at it.)_

Just when Leo thought she was about to continue her crying, she did the opposite, the young female churred back, grabbing his cheeks with her small hands, nuzzling her beak against his happily.

"See, that wasn't hard," Donnie smiled, watching Leo turning red.

"Well… umm… fine, but this doesn't leave this room! You got that, the both of you?!" Leo snapped his head towards Mikey, daring him to make fun of this and see the consequences that would follow.

Breaking into laughter Mikey almost rolled off the chair, startling Luke that was sleeping on his lap, "OH really? And who would I tell huh? Maybe the Foot?"

Slapping the chair's arm, Mikey roared, waving his hand, "Oh Mr. Foot Ninja, you should really consider to run! My older brother is not just a master of the sword, but his very cute feminine churr will strike utter fear into your soul.

"Feminine!?" Leo flashed a look at Mikey angrily for the insult.

Trying desperately to contain his laughter, Mikey smiled, "Well, it was on the high end there bro."

_(So what, if it was high… Willow liked it… Why is Mikey making fun of Leo?) _

"I… I was nervous, I have never done it before!" Leo defended himself, rocking Willow, hoping this little spat wouldn't upset her.

"Oh is that your excuse, then do it again, let's hear it," Mikey grinned widened in glee, egging Leo on, he found this intriguing to see Leo so defensive like this.

Such an event like this doesn't occur so often, for no one gets under Leo's skin so simply, and over a subject like this at that.

"Mikey…" Leo started, then stopped turning his head towards the slamming of the lab door, which also caught the other two brothers' attention as well.

In a heap of hot tears April ran up the stairs disappearing above.

_(April?! Why is she crying?)_

"Did something happen?" Mikey quietly asked, looking at Leo for an answer.

Getting up, Leo was about to pass Willow to Donnie, only to have the younger brother shake his head, not taking his eyes off of the staircase, "Please can I go to her."

_(Say yes, she needs me Leo.)_

Biting his lip, Leo sat back down, "Ok Donnie, I will be up there in a moment then."

_(April I'm coming.)_

Donnie nodded quickly, making his leave with much haste. What happened in the lab? Why was April crying, did that alligator hurt her? If so, why didn't Raph do something?

Donnie swore he saw his older brother enter not to long before hand, making him feel better on the notion April was in that room alone, considering Raph wouldn't let anything happen to his mate.

Yet something did…

_(Raph, why are you not going after her? April is clearly upset and you're not around… What would have happened, that you wouldn't take the moment to comfort her?)_

* * *

Slowly opening the door to April's room that she occasionally used, the thick aroma of fear, mixed with stress, with a dash of saltiness, invaded his nostrils.

The room was cast in darkness; luckily Donnie could make out April's figure on the bed.

_(She is really upset.)_

Closing the door behind him Donnie made his way to her, even she by now should have noticed him, yet didn't respond.

Gently placing his hand on her shoulders, April's sobbing grew louder, as she pulled her head from her pillow looking into his brown eyes.

Tears streamed down her face, her expression was a mix of confusion and doubt, instantly she flung into his arms, trembling against him.

"April… what happened?" Donnie whispered, trying his best to steady his voice, to sounded supporting.

"Nothing… Donnie, please don't ask…" April whimpered pressing herself tighter into him.

Sighing Donnie didn't argue, fearing what she would tell him, besides he didn't want to upset her anymore than she was.

Sitting on the bed, fully, Donnie swooped April up, laying her on his lap, holding her, rocking her, giving her small churrs to soothe her nerves.

_(If you don't want to talk about it, I am ok with that. Either way I will not leave you alone my beautiful mate.)_

* * *

Comforting her the best he was capable of, Donnie didn't let her go, what felt like hours, suddenly a knock came from the door, reminding the turtle that his older brother did mention he would come around to check on her.

_(I know Leo said he will be up here later… but what if it isn't him?!)_

Placing his attention to the door, Donnie watched it nervously, only to settle down, once he realized it was Leo after all.

The blue clad brother, with a worried expression on his face, tried to hide his thoughts from his younger brother, but was doing a poor job at it.

_(What is wrong with Leo?)_

"Sorry to disturb you both, but April may I have a word with you alone?" Leo walked up to the bed, reading April's face that had signs that she hasn't stop crying.

"I…" April only said shyly, not wanting Donnie to go.

"It will be brief, I promise. It's just that this matter is best to be discussed in privacy. Sorry Donnie," Leo insisted waiting for April to answer.

_(Why? I want to stay, April tell him I have to stay.)_

Sighing April twirled her hair around her finger, giving in, "Donnie can you please leave for a second, I should talk to your brother."

"But… April…" Donnie protested, biting his lip.

_(Don't send me away…)_

Smiling sweetly April warmly stroked his cheek, "Thank you Donnie for staying with me, I will be fine, it's Leo remember."

_(So?)_

"I know that… Okay April… But," Donnie fidgeted staring into her eyes, reluctant to leave, regardless if it was Leo he was leaving her with, "Can I come back later and stay with you longer? Please."

"Sure, in a bit," April smiled weakly, kissing him on the head, before he took his leave, that took much effort on his behalf.

* * *

**April POV**

Once alone in the room, the male turtle took a seat on the edge of the bed, looking at his hands, like he was contemplating on how to start the conversation.

"April about what happened in the lab, between you and Leatherhead," Leo slowly started watching April in the corner of his eye.

_(How much does he know?)_

"What about it," April pulled one of her pillows pressing it against her chest firmly.

"Well, I talk to Leatherhead and got his side of the story. So I think there are some things you should know about him."

_(Is Leo defending him after what he did?!)_

"KNOW ABOUT HIM!" April blew up, trembling in a heap of anger, "You told me he was trustworthy LEO! He attacked me! He went nuts on me! Yet you act like this means nothing!"

Taking a breath, Leo sat there calm, showing no signs of any emotions, letting April to cool down before he continued," I understand that and he even admitted in doing so…"

_(He admitted it? Yet you still act fine over this? What the hell!)_

"So because he admitted that he hurt me, means he gets scott free!? Just like that!" April growled, throwing her pillow at Leo's head.

With a sigh, Leo took the hit from the pillow, not bothering to dodge it or catch it, even though it would have been a simple task, "That's not what I am implying."

"Then what are you implying," April crossed her arms narrowing her eyes at the blue clad turtle that she put much trust in.

_(This has to be good Leo or I swear!)_

"If you stop interrupting me, I will get to that," Leo pointed out, lashing out at her, sounding a bit harsher then he attended to come across, making April retreat quickly, closing her mouth in response.

_(…)_

Rubbing his head Leo let out another sigh, he had to watch how he acted towards April, it wasn't the same as when it came to Mikey or Raph, though her temper at times matched Raph's on many levels, he had to admit.

"Leatherhead has some issues and no I am not stating it's an excuse for his demeanor towards you. In truth, I thought he was over them, I guess I was wrong, so please accept my apologies for this. You see in the past Leatherhead was abducted by a madman that did things to him. After that he was having trouble controlling his instincts, mainly his anger. When provoke he would lose all self control, reverting to a beast… I guess it's the best way to describe it."

Sitting back on the bed, April chewed on her nail, deep in thought.

_(So someone tortured him? Even so, why didn't Leo mention that, or dare to leave me alone with him, he is a stranger after all to me. Damn it, Leo that was not fair that you did that, regardless you were protecting him as a friend!)_

"You thought he had this issue, under control? Is that why you fail to mention it?" April looked up at Leo.

"Yes, I would have said something, if I only knew… I'm sorry April, this is my fault. I should have questioned him on this matter before ever allowing him to be alone with you."

"Well, you should have… but I know you wouldn't have intentionally put me in danger."

"April, Leatherhead isn't a danger…" Leo started only to be interrupted.

_(Not a danger? Really? How dare you say that! He is!)_

"No excuses Leo! I don't know him, nor does Donnie at that. So in turn, I think it is best he is not left alone with the children or me. As for Donnie, please don't allow him alone with Donnie!" April pleaded with Leo, knowing it was his decision not hers in the end, when it came to Donnie.

_(Leo please don't leave him alone with Donnie, think about your brother, not your ideal of Leatherhead. Donnie's safety is more important, he can't protect himself, if this alligator tries to hurt him!)_

Biting his lip, Leo slowly nodded to her request, "Then I will set the rules, if he wishes to be allowed to come to the lair, he will be restricted to the lab only if I, Raph or Mikey are not around. He will not be allowed to be alone with you, Donnie or the kids otherwise. Is that satisfactory, to you April?"

"Yes, thank you Leo," April let a breath out of relief, though she didn't like the idea the alligator was there period.

"Good, I will tell the others and make sure it is carried out. April, I hope this event didn't tarnish our relationship, or your trust of ours," Leo asked worriedly.

_(Why would he ask such a thing?)_

Going towards him April wrapped her arms around the turtle, placing her head on his shoulder, "No, it would take more than that, for that to happen. Leo, for future reference no more keeping such secrets in the dark. We have a family to take care of and have to think about their well being before all else."

Patting her on the head, Leo sighed, "I know, I promise. For now, give Leatherhead a chance, he can still help Donnie."

_(… I will never give him a chance… I don't care if he can help Donnie, I don't trust him. Something about him scares me, why does this fear with him, seems so familiar?)_


	28. SM Part 7 - (Who was I?)

**Shattered Mirrors Ch7. (Who was I? Am I really Donatello?)**

* * *

_**Donnie POV**_

Sitting there quietly Donnie stared at the closed lab door, contemplating if he should dare.

For the past 5 minutes hovering there at the stairwell unable to muster the courage to take another step towards the bottom, all he could do was wonder, rubbing his hands nervously while he did.

What happened, did the alligator hurt his love, did he threaten his precious mate, after the fiend already made it clear as day to him, that if he kept his mouth shut no harm will come to his family?!

(He said he will not harm them! He told me to keep quiet and I did so!)

Clenching his fist, narrowing his eyes, Donnie had enough.

As it stands, Raph was still in there, so it was safe for him to confront the alligator once and for all.

There was no doubt in the purple clad turtle's mind that his big brother could take the alligator, if it came to that.

Not that he really wanted to put Raph in such a situation, but if this doesn't stop now, Leatherhead would hurt any of them, at any given moment.

Though the alligator has his brothers' trust, and what Donnie understood about trust, it was powerful and that monster was using it for his own selfish benefits!

Making his way to the door, full of confidence, that even surprised him; Donnie entered the lab without a second thought, which was until he was three steps in.

An eerie silence lingered there thick the air, almost suffocating him.

The lab as far he could tell was empty, with no sign of Raph or Leatherhead at that.

(Where did they go?)

Keeping his hand steady, Donnie entered further looking wildly at the shelves that he knew were all packed up the last time he was allowed to enter the lab.

Yet now, they were all laid out, filled with all kinds of items to be observed by anyone that cared.

(Did Leatherhead do this? Why?)

Sure, he was in the room earlier that day, but being too occupied with not wanting to be in there, he never noticed until now.

Walking up to the shelves ghosting his finger over the items, Donnie tilted his head.

(Is this how my lab use to look like? Did I really have all this stuff? I don't get it, what is all this? Why would I keep it, what is the purpose of them? This is really weird, I know my brothers mention before who I use to be… but still who was I really?)

Shaking his head, Donnie held himself, he felt off being in here, not due the fact that he was alone, no… it was the fact these items were a part of his past, a past he has no recollection of.

It felt sad in a way looking at these things, like they were mocking him, telling him this was part of who he was, yet he couldn't fathom on who that could have been.

Falling into a depression that caught him up in a tidal wave, Donnie looked away quickly; he couldn't bear looking at these shelves anymore.

Just as he was about to make his way out of this showcase of the past, suddenly something caught his eye.

The back room, the room he knew was locked up for good reason; well that's what he was told.

Yet it was now wide open?

(Wait, I thought that door was always locked up, they told me I was never allowed in there… but it's open… should I?)

Staring at the door, feeling the spark of curiosity that came over him, he was unable to fight it.

It didn't help his case with this strong temptation, calling him to go take a peek, begging him to venture through the forbidden archway and finally find out first hand why he was never allowed in there.

Unable to resist this feeling dwelling within, Donnie surrendered to the little voice that told him to take the chance, what harm could it do?

Taking slow, cautious steps forward, Donnie walked through the stone archway that brought him to the section of the lab, he swore he never seen before, until his eyes fell upon it.

Instantly a rush of confusing emotions caught him, as he was dumbfounded on why this place looked so familiar to him.

(This place…)

* * *

The room, like a museum of the past, fragments of events; everything within it called to him.

To think seeing the first part of the lab back to its original state felt slightly disturbing, this was worse, this place clawed into him, trying to bring something back to the surface.

Donnie suddenly took a step forward, it was like his legs had a mind of their own, disobeying his orders to stop, and turn back.

No matter how much he wanted to run away, he couldn't, it was like his body was on a mission and it would do nothing else.

Finally, when he thought he would just walk forever, he found himself stopping in front of a machine.

Looking at the massive machine that seemed it was once covered up, yet someone took its old cloth cover off, Donnie stared at it in utter fear, as a lingering thought came to him… he recognized it!

(No…no no no…It can't be, could it? That was a nightmare… it was just a dream! This thing can't exist!)

Slowly, Donnie put his hand on it.

Though yet again, he didn't intend to do that, his hand did it on its own, feeling the smooth metal surface, while a slight grin came to his lips that he swore he didn't do either.

"YOU USED IT ON HER DIDN'T YOU! To mutate her into a turtle!" a growl came from behind him within the shadows, near the entrance of the room.

The voice fueled by anger, caught the turtle by surprise, bringing a thick sense of dread that overcame Donnie, yet oddly, his body didn't respond to it, it kept its composure, not even trembling, as it should have been.

Slowly Donatello tilted his head towards the enraged alligator, curling his grin more, thrilled at seeing the alligator in such a rage, "So? And your point is?"

(What is going on! I didn't want to say that! Why can't I move… why…)

**SHUT UP I CAN'T THINK WITH YOUR WHINING!** A voice within him boomed silencing Donnie as he helplessly watched this event unfolding, in a mist of confusion.

Narrowing his eyes, the alligator, clenched his fist, "What?!"

"You heard me all too well, Leatherhead! So what if I did?! This is my lab is it not? These are my machines, to use in any manner that pleases me."

(I didn't, I didn't!) Donnie screamed at himself, why would he admit to this, he didn't do anything to April, he would never hurt her… It was a dream, nothing more.

As if the inner voice was quite amused by his sniveling, it began to burst into laughter, not limited towards Donnie, yet vocally for even Leatherhead to hear as well.

**Idiot! You did perform such an unspeakable act. Don't you remember? It was your obsession of claiming that woman as your own, which drove you into doing so. You hurt her Donnie-boy! You pathetic wimp, you turned her into a turtle for your own selfish reasons… Well, after I gave you the instructions to make such a thing possible, that is.**

(What… who… who are you?!)

**Isn't it painfully obvious, that I am you. All though I hate to admit such a vile fact, but the truth, unfortunately is the truth. Now shut your mouth, you asinine child! I have some business to discuss with your dear old friend. **The voiced commanded, forcing Donnie into submission.

Suddenly feeling trapped, as if there were chains holding him at bay, Donnie was unable to comment any further, only to observe within the dark depths of his mind.

Watching helplessly as his body was overrun by something he truly couldn't comprehend.

"So you were playing a trick after all? Making them all think you're some simple minded turtle, nothing like the old you," Leatherhead straitened up, clapping his hand together in a mocking tone.

Shrugging Donatello smirked, "What would you have suspected Leatherhead from me? Now let's get down to business shall we?"

"So right to business I see…"

"Indeed, I prefer not to waste what little time I have, on such trivial matters as we are discussing thus far," Donatello crossed his arms, leaning against the machine, not taking his eyes off of the curious alligator.

"What do you mean by little time?" Leatherhead tilted his head trying to read the turtle.

"That is insignificant compare to what is truly at hand, like I said back to business. For starters I want you to leave; I prefer not to see your inferior presence in my lab again! How dare you come in here in the first place, like you own it!" Donatello snarled, throwing his hand to the side, to indicate to Leatherhead were the door was.

Bellowing, Leatherhead shook his head in amusement, "Oh is that so? To bad Donatello, you broke our agreement, not to touch the girl! Do you think I will just fall back to your demand? The task was simple, even for you. You were to observe her, collect the data and not interact with her or…."

The alligator rage returned, as his eyes slit, "Take action towards her for own personal infatuations!"

"My own personal infatuations you say? Oh that is rich, coming from you…. You stand there stating I am the one lying, deceiving my own family. Yet you have been lying for years! You're just a mutant alligator, please. We both know that is bullshit, or do I have to remind you that I too can play this game and black mail you if you don't do what I ask?!" Donnie moved forward, standing his ground, challenging the big alligator to dare to defy him.

"You wouldn't dare Donatello," Leatherhead snarled, thrusting his hand forward, aiming for Donatello's throat.

Dodging with ease, Donatello grabbed it in response throwing the helpless alligator to the side, like he was some rag doll.

Narrowing his eyes, Donatello had enough of this, if this alligator won't heed his words, then action was in order to get his message out clear.

Noticing the thick long metal pipe that just laid there with his name on it, Donatello gladly picked it up, examining it with blood lust eyes.

It would suit his needs very well, as he ran his thick finger over it admiring the smoothness of it surface and how much he knew it would hurt the pathetic mutant.

Letting the pipe's edge to kiss the concrete floor, Donatello dragged it slowly towards Leatherhead, enjoying the sound it made.

Once he reached the large alligator that was still recovering from being thrown into one of the metal shelves, Donatello hovered over him, holding the pipe up high over his head.

Grinning wildly, Donatello slammed it downward onto the huge mass before him.

A delightful rush of ecstasy ran through his veins, watching the pipe coming into contact with the alligator's body, hearing the helpless creature yelping in pain.

Feeling the rush overtake him, the power, like a drug, filled his actions with no mercy.

Again Donatello swung the pipe down, and again and again, grinning ear to ear, in pure enjoyment.

Will licking his lips, admiring the blood that seeped out of the open wounds he caused.

"You should have listened to me freak! You should have just heeded my warning, yet you have chosen the path to defy me?" Donatello barked, fascinated how tender the alligator flesh was getting from every strike of his weapon.

"I'm sick of listening to you. I have become tiresome of obeying your demands. Those days are over, do you hear ME!" Donatello slammed the pipe as hard as he could against Leatherhead's leg, hearing something snap from the impact.

Instantly a rush of agonizing pain invaded the alligator, as he screamed bloody murder, "You… you lost it!"

Throwing the pipe down Donatello snap his head back, letting out a roar of insanity.

The room filled up with his madness, as he looked at his blood soak hands, then back to Leatherhead, noticing he might have gone a bit overboard, yet enjoyed every minute of it.

"Not quite, I am claiming my territory monster, which includes the girl! So I advise that you clean yourself up and leave! Don't you dare to defy me again or I will kill you," Donatello leaned forward, giving a swift kick to Leatherhead's side.

Leaving Leatherhead in complete shock, curled up on the floor, bruised and beaten, Donatello left the room, heading towards his washroom he had in his lab to rinse off the blood in its sink.

Once done, he took a look at himself in the mirror, instantly part of him was mortified.

(That's not me!)

Sighing, Donatello shook his head, "I am you, you imbecile!"

(No… no your not!)

"Listen, just be quiet! If you think Leatherhead threats over the truth being revealed, was unbearable to consider, mine are far worse!"

(What… what do you mean?)

"This incident doesn't come out to the light. You leave it, forget about it, all that I care. Either way, don't you dare tell a soul, not to Leonardo or our other brothers, especially to that woman!"

(Why? If you're me, then they are our family… Why would...)

"Imbecile! Don't you get this simple fact? You are talking to yourself, do you have any clue what that is called?"

(No…)

Holding his head, Donatello muttered under his breath, "Why are you so stupid?"

(I… I'm not stupid!)

"Compare to me you are. I truly believe Michelangelo outranks you, disturbing as that maybe… Fine listen you simpleton, do you want them to lock us up? Do you want to loose your so call fuck toy?"

(Her name is April! She is not that, she is more than that! I love her!)

"Whatever, just leave this event unspoken, don't usher a word. Not even a whisper about what happened or what Leatherhead did, do you got that! If you dare to defy me, I can take her away from you forever, just with a click of my fingers!" Donatello stated, staring at himself in the mirror, grinning wildly, leaving shivers down Donnie's spine, as his face lightened in the mirror and he could see himself in it once again.

Trembling the turtle was confused, was he dreaming, hallucinating? Did this really happen?

Forcing himself from the sink, he re-entered the lab, noticing it was still silent.

Slowly looking at his hands, Donnie didn't know what to think.

(This is just some nightmare… I have to leave, I can't take it anymore.)

Quickly exiting the lab, Donnie's body didn't want to stop; it was shaking so violently that the urge to puke was not far fetch of an achievement.

Deep within, casting the swallowing darkness that shattered whatever ideal he had on who he was, it was no more now than some false reflections in a mirror.

In the end he wanted to find a hole within his so called existence, in the far reaches of his mind and hide within its tall walls and never leave it again.


	29. SM Part 8 (Cold Confusion)

Shattered Mirrors Ch8. (Cold Confusion)

* * *

**Raph POV**

Wiping down his muscles that very much enjoyed the nice lukewarm shower that fogged up the room, Raph was feeling quite content with himself.

The red clad turtle touching his arms inch by inch, couldn't help smirking at his well built frame, as part of him kind of wished he swooped up April and brought her in with him.

Though he was fully aware she was upset over the misunderstanding in the lab, he knew he could have changed that quickly, just by letting her near this sexy body of his.

All he needed to do was flexed his rippling arm muscles and puff out his chest and he would be made.

Raph doing such an act without thought; sadly found the effort quite silly and pointless without a captivated audience, what was the point if she wasn't there to see it?

_(Man, I really should have been more aggressive, more demanding? Or is that crossing the line with her. Sure, I do tend to be so at times, but there are limits… I really should have kidnapped her against her will… Of course she would have been pissed at first, but man I know she would be screaming for more in the end…)_

Letting out a sigh of disappointment over a chance not taken, Raph finished off his shower, pulling down a fresh clean towel to dry himself with.

The bum out turtle took his sweet time, started to dry his legs first, working his way up, making sure every inch was dry enough to apply some moisturizer for extra treatment.

Not one to admit he does use such products in fear of the teasing that would go with that little guilty pleasure, Raph like to have his skin soft and irresistible.

Hell, he even noticed that April tended to touch it more when it was in such a condition.

Sure someone would state he was using tactics to get the female's attention, but who would blame him, April was beyond hot in the red clad turtle's eyes.

Finished with the prepping and pampering, Raph ended things off with strapping his pads and belt on, then finally his red bandana.

That was a fresh set of course, what would be the point taking a shower, then to place his sweaty gear back on?

Sluggishly making his way to the toilets area of the bathroom through the small archway, Raph stop in his tracks, suddenly hearing an familiar alarming sound.

(_Huh, what the hell?)_

There across the room the unmistakable noises of someone hacking away, accompanied with a plopping, splashing like sounds came echoing behind him from within one of the stalls.

_(Is someone throwing up?)_

Unsure who was sick or why, it was clear as day, whoever it was, was feeling green around the gills.

As the constant actions progressed, the turtle was more than just a bit sick, they were very ill, for the dry heaving kicked in quickly followed by the sobbing in between.

Removing his hand from the washroom's door, Raph walked up to the stall, lightly tapping on the metal door, "Hey who's in there? Are you ok?"

The sick soul, not ushering a word only sobbed louder, hacking, gasping for air.

_(Damn this doesn't sound good; I need to get into that stall. All I need is someone to start choking on their vomit!)_

Fearing the seriousness of this situation, Raph rushed to the sinks looking for something that was flat enough to place in the lock on the door to open it.

Sure, he could simply knock the door down, but that would result the person in the stall getting hit by the door. He was desperate to get it open, yet not that desperate!

Scrambling through some of the items, which were mostly toothbrushes and paste, finally to his luck, Raph came across to one of April's hair clips that was laying there.

She must have forgotten to put it away, which he was never one that cared if she did put it away or not, unlike Leo who was all ways so anal over silly things like this.

Not wasting any time, Raph went back to the stall door, placing the clip in the flat slit for the lock, unlocking the door quickly.

This stall door like any other that opened inward, Raph opened it carefully, minding the sibling on the other side, avoiding not to hit the brother in need.

To his dismay, Raph gulped hard seeing there hugging onto the porcelain thrown was no other then Donnie, with his head half in the bowl.

_(Donnie?! Why is he sick? And no one around to check on him!)_

Instantly once again attempting to spill what was left in his stomach, which by now was nothing, only resulting the sicken turtle to dry heave, gasping for air between, making his body tremble in the end.

"Shit Donnie what's wrong?!" Raph placed his hand gently onto Donnie's shoulder.

In direct response the younger brother shuddered by the contact coldly, as if Raph was some stranger.

_(Crap is he warm?!)_

Raph quickly placed his hand firmly onto Donnie's forehead was mortified that his fears were beyond realized and it was worse than he originally predicted.

Donnie wasn't just warm, he was burning up, to the point just touching him was very uncomfortable.

_(Shit, he is on fire! Why does he have such a fever? What would cause this? What has happened to him?!)_

"Damn it Donnie?! Shit don't you dare close your eyes!" Raph panicked noticing Donnie's body was shaking uncontrollably and his eyes fluttered open and closed.

_(Damn, I need to cool him down quickly! Don't pass out bro, please don't pass out Donnie!)_

Swooping Donnie up into his arms, Raph rushed back to the shower area, cranking the cold water on.

Without any resistance, Raph went under the unforgiving water holding Donnie close, trying desperately to resist the urge of getting out of it.

The ice cold pallets beat down against his green skin, bringing shivers down his spine, yet he couldn't move from his spot. His first priority was to get Donnie to a normal temperature before all else.

There was no way he would leave Donnie in such a condition alone.

Feeling his brother's forehead once again, a rush of relief claimed Raph, noticing that this little simple trick was working wonders.

Donnie's temperature was dropping gradually; if this keeps up, he would should go back to normal, that is if it doesn't sky rocket again.

_(Don't worry Donnie I will make sure you get better… I will not leave this very spot until you are.)_

* * *

**April Pov**

"April are you okay?" Mikey lingered around the female turtle, placing his hand onto her shoulder giving her a sweet smile of support.

"I'm fine now Mikey, are the kids taking a nap?" April kissed Mikey on the head as the small turtle grinned ear to ear.

"Yep, they are sound asleep, hopefully they will stay down for a bit, I'm beat," Mikey leaned his shell against April's, stretching out on the couch flicking through the channels to find something interesting to watch on his down time, not worrying if it was kid appropriate.

It has been a while he had a moment to spend some time with her. With the kids and everything going on, neither one of them normally had a moment to spare to just hang out, nor just sit around talking about anything that didn't involved the kids.

"Sorry about that Mikey, I don't mean to dump them on you so much, it just…" April started to apologize, feeling the sharp pain of guilt for making the youngest brother in taking so much responsibility that in many ways wasn't his to take.

"April I'm cool with it, really I am. I love the little hatchlings to bits," Mikey smiled sweetly again laying his head against April's arm, "I know a lot is going on, besides it's best that it's me not… say Leo," Mikey grinned wildly, seeing the curling smile on April's lips, knowing all to well he got her to cheer up.

_(Yeah really…)_

"I sadly have to admit you're right," April admitted trying not to snicker.

"Yep… oh that reminds me," Mikey lowered the controller, tilting his head towards April with a very playful smile, "Leo churred to Willow today."

Taken by surprised by his sudden new news, April gasped for air, choking on her glass of water.

Recovering from the sudden shock, April placed the cup down right away, giving Mikey a sideways look.

_(Did Mikey just say Leo churred? No I must have heard that wrong.)_

"Mikey say that again."

Grinning more the orange clad turtle was amused by her reaction, "Leo churred no word of a lie and it was really cute! Not just how Willow reacted towards Leo, but his churr is actually as soft as yours."

Unable to contain it Mikey burst out laughing almost rolling off the couch reminiscing the moment yet again.

"What?! Come on Mikey, you must be pulling a fast one on me," April gently nudged Mikey shoulder playfully.

Shaking his head, Mikey gave her a straight look calm and serious, "April it's true, ask Donnie. Leo did churr and it was soft, you should have seen his face. He went as far as to threaten us to never to tell anyone. Which doesn't make sense considering you're the only one I would tell, besides it was cute and Willow was ecstatic."

Smiling on the event, wishing she seen it for herself, April leaned back, nodding, "I would guess so, she has been wanting him to act like that towards her for some time now. Though Leo does make her cry the most, oddly she always wants him in the morning."

"Yeah, she finally had worn him down," Mikey stated with some more chuckles getting comfortable against April, attempting to channel surf once again.

"Well I think it's a good thing, Leo has to stop denying he is a turtle at times and it's ok for him to act like one. Especially around the kids."

Nodding Mikey agreed, finally finding a channel that he was satisfied with.

Just as the both turtles were going to take the moment and relax watching the tube, a door slammed open as Raph voice hollered.

Startled by the sudden outcry coming from Raph, both turtles jumped up, flashing a look over towards the bathroom door.

_(Donnie?!)_

In a mist of confusion the two surprised turtles stared at Raph, who in turn was trembling and chattering his teeth, while water dripped off his body, as he held Donnie in his arms who was unconscious.

"Raph what happened?" Mikey asked as both him and April reached them.

Quickly April checked Donnie, noticing that Raph's arm was ice cold and had goose bumps covering it.

_(Why is Raph so cold?)_

"I… Don-n-ie, w-a-s…" Raph chattered, as his pupils dilated, he was even wobbling, ready to collapse at any moment.

"Mikey go get Leo quick, and some blankets fast!" April directed the young turtle helping Raph towards the lab.

"A-a-pppril…. D-oonnniee," Raph managed to get out squinting his eyes.

"Raph stop talking just keep walking we are almost at the lab okay?" April shook her head.

_(What is going on?)_

* * *

Reaching the lab, to the female turtle's dismay it was quiet, there was no sign of Leatherhead, did he leave?

_(Damn of all the times he isn't here is when we need him…)_

Carefully directing Raph to the cot, making him to put Donnie onto it, then lay down himself.

Stubborn as a mule the red clad turtle still fought to speak, which was a fruitless act and one that was hindering him more than anything.

_(I have to get him to relax and worry about getting himself better.)_

Seeing no way around it April used the only tactic she knew always made her mate speechless.

With a gentle kiss on the lips Raph stop staring at her in bliss.

"April Leo is coming I have the blankets… I don't think kissing him is the proper treatment," Mikey raised an eyebrow at April, letting out a small sigh.

Smiling at the small turtle she shrugged, "It is when you want him to shut up. Now give me those blankets I need to get Raph's body temperature back to normal. Mikey can you grab the thermometer?"

Doing what he was instructed Mikey went to Donnie's desk looking for one.

While he did, he took notice the oddly abandon lab, "Where is Leatherhead?"

"I don't know he wasn't here when I came in," April pointed out, while Mikey gave her the thermometer, popping it into Raph's mouth.

While April attended Raph, Mikey took the time to check on Donnie noticing he was wet too, yet wasn't cold, instead warm?

Examining the brother Mikey's eyes widen, "April I think I know what happened."

"What happened then Mikey?" Leo voiced came from the doorway.

Looking at his two young siblings warily, Leo made his way to them, unsure how this happened or why.

"I think Donnie had a fever and Raph used a cold shower to bring it down," Mikey bit his lip, waiting for April to give him the thermometer to see where Donnie was standing.

_(Donnie had a fever that doesn't make sense…)_

"Mikey that doesn't add up, how can Donnie had such a fever, neither I or April notice it when he was in her room," Leo crossed his arms.

The thermometer ready to read from Raph, April shook her head, jumping to her feet.

_(Great his temperature is too low.)_

Quickly as the other two turtles started to question her actions, April crawled into the bed beside Raph holding him tightly against her body.

"April?" both Mikey and Leo asked a bit puzzled.

_(Really? Why are they looking at me like that?)_

"He is freezing, his temperature is way too low for the norm. Do you want to volunteer to warm him up?" April narrowed her eyes at them both, for not seeing that is her true intent.

Coughing Leo cleared his throat in embarrassment, "I will pass… what of Donnie?" Leo placed his attention back to Mikey, who at the moment was testing Donnie.

"This isn't good guys he is a high 100.4 F and rising… What should we do?" Mikey whimpered.

"Aspirin. Get him some Aspirin, that should fight it, if he gets higher we will need some ice. And worse case scenario would be that we might have to do a cold bath again to him," April instructed as both turtles looked at her in surprise.

"Wow you really know your stuff, huh April," Mikey was happy someone did.

"Well to a point. You see, after dealing with Donnie and all the things we have been going through, I started reading to make sure someone knew how to handle the small things if something like this happened," April admitted turning red.

"Well I'm happy you did, without Donnie to rely on we need someone to know these kind of things, we can't keep scraping by… Though I have to admit now we do have Leatherhead around to help. Who has much knowledge which comes in handy… Talking about Leatherhead, where is he? I thought he had work to do?" Leo looked about noticing no trace of him, he would thought the alligator would have said something before leaving.

"Don't know," April shrugged rubbing Raph's arms, who was still in a daze.

"Leo can I have some help to get Donnie to drink this? I crushed the pills and put it into this glass of water so we can get him to drink it," Mikey waved Leo to aid him.

Taking their positions to tend to Donnie, Mikey placed himself behind Donnie to support his shell, as he held onto the glass.

Leo went to the purple clad turtle's side helping to keep his head straight up, while reluctantly opening the helpless turtle's mouth open, to allow access for the water.

Taking a breath Mikey poured the water mixture down Donnie's throat, hoping he would not choke on it.

In reaction Donnie's body gurgled, forcing Leo to hold his mouth shut so the brother would have to swallow.

The older brother even had to stroke Donnie's throat to make him to drink it.

Leo and Mikey finally done with this dreadful deed, felt worse for wear, they didn't like this, but it had to be done.

Gently placing Donnie down again Mikey took some efforts to soothe him.

"Guys, why do you think Donnie got ill all the sudden? I mean I can't see how this came to be?" Mikey whimpered more, hating seeing Donnie in such a state and then seeing Raph the way he was wasn't helping.

"I don't know…" April repeated herself feeling that was the only answer she had.

"I think I should give Leatherhead a call. We probably will need his assistance," Leo walked towards the lab door, taking out his shell cell, dialing up the alligator.

_(Yeah, sure… He better not have been the one that did this to Donnie!)_


	30. SM Part 9 (The Gullible One)

_**Shattered Mirrors Ch9. (The Gullible One)**_

* * *

**Raph Pov**

Lying there on his shell, Raph didn't say a word, watching through the corner of his eye at his little brothers.

Donnie was just sitting there staring into the abyss, while Mikey was attempting to communicate with him.

The lab, Raph became aware that was where he was still at, was quiet in many ways.

It was only them occupying the space at the moment. Yet he swore April was there, he could still smell her scent close to his beak, was she lying with him?

Closing his eyes, he recapped the events beforehand; the strongest memory was the cold, did he over do it?

(Damn, I must have made my own body to cold… That is why she was laying on me. Donnie doesn't seem to be suffering from a fever anymore, yet he is still acting weird.)

Slowly getting up, a gentle hand pressed against his shoulder to stop him, "Whoa Raph, not so fast take it easy."

Rolling his eyes at Mikey, Raph continued sitting up straight, using the wall behind him as support to stay that way.

"I'm fine Mikey. How is Donnie doing," Raph tilted his head towards Donnie, who didn't even blink on hearing his name.

"I… He won't talk to me bro," the orange clad turtle sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed beside Raph, twiddling his thumbs.

"Where is April or Leo at that… Hell, I don't even see LH."

Just as he mentioned Leatherhead's name suddenly Donnie cringed fearfully, as he did, he laid back down quickly covering himself with his blanket suspiciously.

(Okay… Wasn't suspecting that kind of reaction from him…)

Shrugging, keeping his eyes on Donnie, Mikey bit his lip, "I don't know, Leo has been trying to get a hold of him. As for April, she is fetching some water and something to eat for the two of you."

"Oh I see. Well, I'm good to go," Raph tried to get up again, only to have Mikey protested over his stubbornness.

"Like hell you are. You don't pull a stunt like that and believe we would let you just go off on your merry way. Get back to bed RAPH!" Mikey growled, having Raph pushing him to the side like some rag doll, giving the younger brother a devilish smile as he did.

"Nay, I'm good!"

(And I need to know what is going on; April should be in here with Donnie not Mikey.)

* * *

**April POV**

Leaning against the wall with a tray in her hand, the redhead watched Leo passing back and forth, trying to dial up Leatherhead's number yet again.

For over a half hour the leader has been attempting to get a hold of the alligator, only to have the phone ring on end with no sign of anyone trying to answer it.

(Why isn't he answering?)

"Still trying to get a hold of him?" Raph piped up at the lab door catching both turtles by surprise.

(Raph? Damn stubborn fool!)

"Raph what are you doing?!" April narrowed her eyes, only to receive a smirk on the red clad turtle's lips.

"Standing here, waiting for Leo to answer my question," Raph purred enjoying the frustration surfacing on April's face.

"That is not what I was asking! Don't you play innocent with me. Now back to bed."

(Is he smiling more? Damn him, this isn't some game he is playing.)

Sighing Leo got between the two love birds, this wasn't the time for them to have their lovers quarrel, "Now both of you settle down. Raph she is right, you should be in bed…"

"Sorry Leo no can do, someone needs to check up on LH. You're busy with the matters at hand, Mikey will have to take care of the kids soon and April is needed for Donnie. Leaving me to go find out what's up with our friend."

Tightening his grip on his shell cell, Leo bit his lip hard, contemplating on the statement Raph just gave him.

Finally saying something, but not before sighing heavily, letting everyone in the room know he actually came up blank for a protesting reply against Raph, Leo placed the shell cell away.

"Fine, you can go check on him, but you must keep your shell cell in arms length Raph. I swear if there is any sign of trouble you… I mean this Raph," Leo spat noticing Raph was rolling his eyes like some child that found his lecture fruitless. "You will come back home or call, but in no circumstances do you put yourself in harms way? Do you hear me Raphael!?"

"Yes Sir. I will be a good boy and not steer from your orders, _**sir**_," Raph mocked back, enjoying the underline stress lines that showed up on his older brother's face.

"Raph…," Leo swallowed back hard the pissy remark he had towards Raph for his behavior, going back to topic in the end. "I mean it. I shouldn't even be allowing you to leave the lair after what you have been through. Yet I have to admit you had a valid point and you are the only one that could go check on him," Leo crossed his arms, frustrated that there was no other way around this.

"Leo take a chill pill, I will be fine. It's only 5 minutes away."

(Five or forty it's still all the same, I wish Leo wouldn't let him go. Why does Raph have to be so stubborn?)

"I am well aware of that Raph… April I will bring the tray in, I need to talk to Mikey anyways," Leo came to April taking the tray from her, he wanted to leave before he said something to his younger brother that would result in some fight between them.

"Sure Leo," April gave him the tray not taking her eyes off of Raph who was acting all proud of himself.

Once Leo was gone, April didn't hold back, pacing up towards the muscle bound turtle, "Raph this is a bad idea. Do you have any clue how bad of shape you were moments ago?"

Smirking brightly Raph closed in, wrapping his arms around her waist, seeing the sour puss expression on her lips.

"Yes I do, I still can feel your stunning body that was pressing against mine. I'm surprised I didn't burn up."

"Raph! This is serious…" April complained only to be interrupted by Raph's lips pressing against hers.

"April I'm fine, don't worry about me. It's sweet, but not necessary. Besides I will only be a bit and you can nurse me all you like afterwards. I wouldn't mind experiencing that sponge bath thing, which so many lucky guys get to have," Raph growled licking April on the cheek.

(What a ham.)

"Oh really now, I will remember that," April tilted her head sideways, making sure the red clad turtle caught the malicious grin on her lips.

"Yeah… That would be… I really need to get going," the male turtle stuttered nervously, this was never a good sign of her acting in such a manner, it meant she was up to something and this wouldn't end so well for him.

Hurrying towards the door Raph left quickly not daring to look back.

(Raph, please be careful. I still don't trust that alligator.)

* * *

**Raph POV**

Making his way to Leatherhead's place, Raph stopped in front of one of the broken camera's that he has been meaning to fix and inform Leo about.

With everything that was going on, it slipped his mind, not just that, it wasn't like Leo made any effort of bringing it up on his behalf as well.

Raph still had no clue who or what did the damage, he couldn't believe he left it this long.

All he knew someone or thing was still around that could be a threat, how irresponsible of him.

Sighing knowing this wasn't the time to worry about it; he will have to revisit the issue later after he was sure Leatherhead was okay first.

The walk only taking five minutes, Raph was relieved to arrive at Leatherhead's place without incident or any signs of danger on the way.

Yet even with the relief there was something in the air that lingered there, making his nerves on edge.

(Why am I so nervous?)

Taking his time to venture into the old subways station Leatherhead claimed as his lab years ago, Raph put his guard up when the feeling escalated, making him wonder if this was a good idea for him to come here alone after all.

Clearing his throat, Raph called out into the darkness before him, "Hey LH are you home?"

With no answer, Raph took out his sai narrowing his eyes to help him adjust quickly, yet only accomplishing in seeing the outlines of Leatherhead's equipment, nothing in great detail though.

(Damn, where is he?)

With another step forward, Raph suddenly got a cold chill down his spine, as he felt something coming at him full force.

Unable to react in time Raph's shell slammed into a nearby pillar hard as a rush of pain invaded his body.

Gasping for air, Raph eye's widen seeing the injured alligator with his blood lust eyes locked onto him, "LH it's me Raph… Shit what happened to you? Who did this to you?"

As if his voice reached the temperamental alligator, his eyes suddenly softened.

Snapping out of his rage, the big guy nervously took a step back in regret of his rash actions towards his turtle friend.

Feeling the cement under his feet once again, Raph took many deep breaths before speaking, "Hey… LH… What is going on…"

Shaking his head the alligator bit his lip, "I… I'm sorry Raphael.. I…"

Giving a reassuring smile Raph nodded, "No sweat, I know you didn't mean to… So are you going to tell me?"

"I… Why are you here Raphael," Leatherhead asked apprehensively, looking over his shoulders as if someone was going to crawl out of the shadows and attack him.

(Ok he is definitely worried. I should take this easy and get him to tell me when he is ready.)

"Well, I came over because we have been trying to call you for some time now. You see Donnie became sick out of the blue, with a high fever and when you haven't answered our calls I came over to check on you…"

"Oh… A fever?" Leatherhead eased up, tilting his head in wonder.

"Yeah, I found him in the bathroom not to long ago throwing up a storm and he was hot as hell. I had to put him under a cold shower to cool him down," Raph explained noticing Leatherhead was settling down.

"That sounds peculiar."

Scratching his head, Raph nodded, "Yep you're telling me. We have no idea what happened or if he got into something he shouldn't have. When April and Leo saw him last he was ok, and then I found him. By chance did you see him before you left? I need to know what he was doing beforehand."

Becoming nervous once again Leatherhead became silent.

(What is going on? What is he hiding?)

"LH what is going on? Who hurt you?" Raph asked again noticing Leatherheads leg look like it was mangled up.

"I… Raph… Its best you leave," Leatherhead stuttered, looking around once again.

(Did he just addressed me by my nickname? Shit something is, wrong!)

Going towards the alligator, Raph placed his hand on his arm to show his support, "LH you can tell me were friends, what's wrong?"

"You will not believe me if I did tell you, I'm sorry my friend."

Not taking that as an answer Raph crossed his arms, "I will determine if I will believe you or not, so spill it."

Sighing Leatherhead sat on the ground as comfortably as he could, "Raphael I have a question for you. Have you noticed… have you witnessed any odd behavior out of Donatello that didn't match to his current state?"

(Wait a minute, why is he bringing Donnie up?)

Choosing his words carefully, Raph responded to the question, "Well not really, except a few times, but that was nothing that odd, why you ask?"

Nodding, the alligator cleared his throat, "For starters, are you aware the machine that was used on April couldn't be operated by anyone that didn't have former knowledge on how it works. When I say that none of the files Donatello had created in the past would have helped to get it to work correctly."

"No, I didn't know, what are you getting at LH?"

"Raph that machine could only work if it was the old Donatello using it, not the current one… You see I think I discovered a disturbing development with your brother that I didn't notice until it was too late."

Leaning against a pillar, Raph closed his eyes, "Okay… and what would that be. The way you're going your sounding like Donnie is fine, but I know he isn't."

"Oh you're correct on that, he isn't fine at all, far from it. Raphael I believe your brother has a split personality disorder."

Shocked Raph straitened up, feeling all the blood drain from his face, "WHAT?! What do you mean he has a split personality? Where do you get that idea? Is this over the mystery of April's mutation?"

Clenching his fist Leatherhead growled fiercely, "No! From the fact he ambushed me in his own lab, beat the shit out of me and threatened my life in the process. He acted nothing like that docile and confused side that he has been showing to you and your family. He was aggressive, possessive and the way he spoke was beyond the capability of the side he has shown to all of us thus far."

(No this can't be happening…)

"No… Damn it NO! LH you must be mistaken… Please, you must be mistaken…"

"RAPH does these injuries look self conflicted to you? What would I have to gain to spin such a lie? He did this to me, I too am in shock," Leatherhead slammed his fist to the ground.

(Fuck, this can't be happening…)

Biting his lip, Raph put his hand on his face to hide the tears that were forming, "Shit LH… How is this possible… Why haven't we seen this then?"

"I don't know, maybe it's a defense mechanism to protect himself when he feels threatened. I am new to him; he must proceeded me as someone that would hurt him. Or he heard how I lost myself around April. He seemed very possessive over her, more than anything."

"We need to talk to Leo…" Raph started to walk away, he needed to get home fast and let Leo know before something worse happens.

They needed to figure out how to handle this, how to help his poor brother, this is all he needed on top of everything else he went through.

Was this god damn rollercoaster ride ever going to end?

How long does Donnie have to suffer, why can't he just be his old self again?

Stopping the turtle in his tracks, Leatherhead wouldn't allow Raph to leave, "We can't."

Turning around quickly Raph was confused, "Why not, what you describe and the way you look who knows when this other side of Donnie will show up and what he will do to any of us. He might seriously hurt one of us!"

"I understand your concerns, but I doubt it will, unless he is provoked. He threatened to kill me if I dared to bring this up to one of you. What do you think he will do if he finds out? The Donatello you know will do nothing, but the other half might, you can't risk it."

(Shit, what am I to do?)

"So then what leave it? You know we can't just do that either!" Raph held his side feeling like he was losing it.

"No, I think the best options before us, is you to evaluate him. Yet keep in mind of this depressing information, to see if you can determine his behavioral patterns. This way we can figure out how to help him properly. If he doesn't suspect a thing he might show himself more and you will be able to notice these patterns than before. Considering all this time you might have written it off as him having a good day or whatever other reason that comes to mind. He might be doing things that you didn't realize he was doing behind your backs and close doors. Only coming to the conclusion in the end it had to be someone else's doing, not his. Resorting to the path of thought that he is incapable in doing certain tasks," Leatherhead sat back down.

"So spy on Donnie, great… LH do you by chance believe Donnie could be capable of destroying cameras that surrounding the lair?" Raph asked not believing he was.

"I believe so. Why you ask?"

(So Donnie could have been the one that had taken down the cameras when we weren't paying attention? We have been giving him more free time alone… Maybe that was a bad idea after all… Still, why would he take down the cameras?)

Shaking his head Raph let it drop, "Just wondering. Ok I will not tell anyone for now; I really don't need him to go all dark side on us. I guess you need to go to his lab sometime soon too, you would notice things there then I would. But how do we go about it without making Donnie piss. Man, this isn't going to be easy."

"No, it won't be. For now I will work on that other request you had with the kids. I think that would be a way for me to come back. But first I need to heal so no one will question my injuries. I will tell Leo the samples I have here, are all I need for now and can do it in my own lab for I feel shameful for my actions towards April. That will not raise any suspicion."

"Yeah, that would work, so how does finding out who is the kids' father going to help you?"

Smiling Leatherhead nodded, "Oh that is simple Raphael my friend, I will not doubt win the trust over April, even though she would be upset with me for doing this. I doubt Donatello's other side would show itself in front of her, giving me the opportunity to come over more. But only when you can keep Donatello distracted, I can't be alone with him in case he wants to claim his territory again with me."

"Ok sounds like a plan. I'm sorry what Donnie did to you…"

"It's ok my friend I understand and wish only to help your dear brother, for he is also my friend and like family. Which I regard you and your brothers as well," Leatherhead smiled more at his friend.


End file.
